My Own Worst Nightmare
by Kouzumi93
Summary: "The world will be destroyed." That's what Aizen said, and Hitsugaya has vowed to kill him. But will everything go according to Aizen's plans or will Hitsugaya's determination come out on top? HitsuHina MatsuGin AU COMPLETED!
1. Prologue

Here's another story that came to me in my dreams. I only really remember one scene, but that's the scene that made the biggest impact on me, so I'm basing this off of that one part. The most challenging part about writing this first chapter was deciding whether or not to make it a fanfic, because it would work as one or as just an actual story. Here I am, though, so it seems as if I've made up my mind.

It will be a romance/action/adventure story to the best of my abilities, so HitsugayaxHinamori fans can look forward to that. I've never really written a romance before, so this will be a new experience for me.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. Chapter title (Escapist) belongs to Nightwish.

My Own Worst Nightmare

By Kouzumi93

Prologue (Escapist)

(Hitsugaya's Point of View)

_Beep! Beep! Beep!_

An alarm sounds in the distance. It's a warning sign that's beginning to make me nervous. The longer it sounds, the closer we are to absolute failure. Maybe we are already destined to fail, and there's nothing we can do to change it, but this alarm is making it crystal clear to us.

We don't have enough time. There's no way that there is enough time for all three of us to slip away undetected. No, we've already been detected, and we're here because we were caught. But we don't have much hope of getting away now, because he is surely on his way here.

'Here' is some sort of golden, metal cage that I can't help but liken to a life-sized birdcage. It is designed to keep us trapped in, or keep others out. The bars are so close together, not even I could hope to fit through them. What we found to be very interesting earlier was that the main gate was able to be opened by a key I've had in my possession since I was eleven.

But after we opened the door, this irritating alarm began, and our captor was notified of our 'escape'.

That's why we are sure he'll be back any second. The one who locked us up.

Glancing down at the girl in my arms one last time, I make my final decision. "Get Hinamori out of here, Matsumoto!" I shout to my busty, blonde friend. She's standing less than a metre away from me, but the panic is welling up in me, making me speak louder than I want to.

I force the dark haired girl, who has been unconscious for less than five minutes, into Matsumoto's arms, trying to make her get out and away as fast as possible. Before it's too late.

"But Toushiro, we can't just leave you in here!" Matsumoto protests. She grabs my arm, trying to drag me along with her through the door. But I can't go. Beyond the door lies only safety and hope for them. What awaits me is nothing of the sort, not after all I've gotten myself into.

"Yes you can!" I shout, and she looks worried. "I'll distract them long enough for you two to get far away from here, then I'll follow after you." I glance out at the door on the outside. It still remains closed, but I don't know how much longer it's going to remain that way. "Just go already!"

I give Matsumoto a push, and then allow a plastic, reassuring smile to form on my lips. "I'll be fine. I promise." A hollow promise, it is. I know already that things are looking bleak for us.

Matsumoto hesitates one more time, then nods, though I can see that she's still uncertain of what she should be doing. "You'd better keep that promise. She'll never forgive you." She says, referring to Hinamori. Then she turns away, only to glance back one last time. "We'll be waiting for you, Toushiro."

Finally, she is gone and I prepare to make my grand escape.

I figure that I should make a decent enough decoy. I can take care of myself, and Hinamori and Matsumoto are capable of supporting each other well enough. As long as I keep him busy for a while, those two can get to our promised meeting place without problems.

And then this can finally end.

I chuckle morbidly to myself, knowing that none of this is likely to turn out like I want it to. His lackeys have not been calculated into the equation, and that will probably turn out to be my most fatal mistake yet.

Because I'm not the hero.

I never have been and, the way things are looking, I never will be.

But I never have been one to give up this easily.

_Beep! Be-_

Suddenly, the alarm cuts off abruptly and the cage door slams itself shut, nearly on my fingers. I was so close, but I haven't gotten out after all, I realize, all shreds of hope gone like feathers in the wind. My fears are being confirmed, one after the other.

We're doomed.

Glancing past the bars, I search for the one thing I don't really want to see. Finally, I spot him. He's standing in the doorway that he had left through. Neither lackey is present.

"Looks like you're the only one who failed to escape, Hitsugaya-kun." He says mockingly. It doesn't occur to me right away, but I soon realize that he's trying to rile me up.

I stay silent, only glaring at him. I decide that I'm glad for Hinamori and Matsumoto's absences from this place. I can no longer guarantee that my temper will remain in check. If it doesn't, I can't promise that I won't kill Aizen, and then the other two would get caught up in the mess, trying to stop me or something.

I would never forgive myself if something happened to them because of me.

"What's this? Have you nothing to say at all? No declaration of hatred or something?" He smirks. "Not even a plan on how you're going to be getting out of there?" His grin widens. My stomach churns the longer I look at him. "Of course you don't have one. Do you want to know why?"

Growling under my breath, I curse his name.

Aizen Sousuke.

You're going to pay.

"You'll never be getting out, that's why. You've walked right into the palms of my hands."

My eyes narrow where others may have gasped. I saw this coming. "So it wasn't her that you were after, was it?"

"Not at all."

* * *

It's a little modified from the scene I remember from the dream, but I think I like this better. It's more suspenseful, and it gives sufficient information as to the characters, the situation and the plot so as not to leave you royally confused.

Okay, so maybe you are confused. But that's okay.

This chapter is just going to be a teaser for a while. The story isn't completely written yet (it's not really started, save for this and some mental planning), so I don't want to post too much and get myself in over my head. I would appreciate some reviews so I can gauge my audience before continuing.

Review if you like it so far!


	2. Going Home

Thank you all for the reviews! The plotline is going good, so I figured I'd drop in and post the first chapter. This went through tons of revisions, rewrites and beta readers, so I hope I've gotten this to your liking. Enjoy!

If you don't like high school stories, I'm sorry, but this is one. I've strangely become addicted to those recently. The whole being in high school thing doesn't play a completely large role in this, so I hope you'll try to stay with me, if you like it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. Chapter title belongs to Sagisu Shirou.

My Own Worst Nightmare

By Kouzumi93

Chapter One: Going Home

October second was a day of many firsts for me. My first day at a new school, my first real friend, and the first time I'd ever made a bet with a girl. There were also other firsts, but these three are the ones I recall almost immediately whenever I think about that day.

I suppose it's because those were the biggest factors in sealing my fate and the fates of my closest friends-to-be.

The moment I saw my new school, I knew something was off about the place. It felt almost as if I'd seen it somewhere before. Something about the place was intimidating and foreboding, and it seemed like it was telling me to get out before it was too late.

But I didn't heed its warning. I thought I was just imagining things, so I climbed the steps that led to the administration building, leaving all of my worries and fears to be taken away with the wind.

'_Seireitei Academy is one of the oldest buildings in the city. Built some time around the start of the nineteenth century, it was originally designed for a wealthy family who held a decent amount of power. The building is made of high quality black granite stones and consists of a total of five towers, four of which are located at the corners of each wing. The fifth tower is centred in the middle of the courtyard and is completely off limits to all students._

'_The school's once-stained glass windows were replaced toward the end of the twentieth century, and some of them have been preserved and kept in storage. There are copious amounts of secret passageways and dead-ends located all over the building, some of which are still being discovered to this day...'_

"What are you reading?" I looked up to see Hinamori Momo, a girl in my grade who was my guide until I got used to the layout of the place, standing over me with her lunch tray. There was another girl with her who appeared to be in another grade.

"I was reading about the school in the Local History textbook. Seems like it has a pretty odd past, huh?" I responded as the two sat down across from me. The blonde girl waved and smiled, and I noticed a beauty mark below the right corner of her mouth.

"The school's history? There's no fun in that. The endless amount of rumours are much more interesting to sort through." She held out her hand to me then. "I'm Matsumoto Rangiku, a senior. What's your name?"

"I'm Hitsugaya Toushiro." I shook her hand, then drew it back. I wasn't the greatest when it came to greeting people. "What kind of rumours surround this place?"

"Mostly ghost stories, but everyone's favourite by far is the tale of the two lovers."

"Rangiku-san, please don't tell that one!" Hinamori pleaded.

"Oh, it's fine, Hinamori-chan. Supposedly, the youngest child, and only son, of the family living here in the school had fallen in love with the daughter of another family who lived on the other side of the town. She loved him back, but the families were arch enemies, and the two were forbidden from meeting with one another once they were found out. As the story goes, the lovers secretly created a passage underneath the town that linked their mansions together. They continued to see each other, thus defying their parent's wishes.

"When their parents learned of the tunnel, it was immediately sealed off and the two were cursed. The boy was banished from the land, and it is uncertain what became of him afterward. Since he was the only son and both of his sisters were already married into other wealthy families, the bloodline is said to have disappeared. The girl eventually married, but died of a broken heart.

"Or so they say." Matsumoto concluded.

"Hitsugaya-kun, don't listen to her. It's just an old tale that was made up because my house has been here just as long as the school." Hinamori defended herself.

"I'm not into those kinds of stories anyway." I whispered back. "That was a really interesting fairytale, Matsumoto." I continued to page through my book, curious if there was any mention of her story in it.

"Really?"

"No. First of all, curses don't exist, no matter how much one believes in them. Second, how could a tunnel have been built under the town, much less have stayed undetected for two hundred years?"

"None of the buildings have basements except for the school and Hinamori's mansion."

"Alright, well then what's the name of the other family? The ones here in the school."

"No one knows. The records were lost a long time ago."

"Then you have no proof of any of this. It's clearly nothing but, as you called it, a rumour. A lie."

"But it's a true rumour!"

"If it was true, don't you think it would be in your school's Local History textbook?" I noted as I closed the book gently. It was littered with all sorts of miscellaneous facts about the building, but it never even mentioned the word 'rumour.'

"That book is full of bias."

"Textbooks can't be biased!"

"Alright you guys, let it go." Hinamori butted in before it turned into a full scale argument. Getting into a fight on the first day of school would not have been a great way to start things off.

That was when I learned a trait of Matsumoto's that would come into play many times in the coming weeks. She's stubborn as hell. "No. We'll get to the bottom of this like no one ever has and I'll prove to you that love-"

"Is the root of all evil. But I already know that." I joked.

"Hey! That's not what I was going to say!"

"I know, but it works." I grinned. "You can have your fun trying to prove the impossible. In the meantime, I'll be using my time wisely-finding one hundred and one ways to prove you wrong."

"You're on!" We shook on it, and I noticed Hinamori sigh and shake her head in defeat off to the side.

After we decided that the loser would have to sing the Barney theme song in their underwear in front of a large crowd (which Matsumoto seemed strangely okay with), we cleaned up our table and headed off to our next class. Hinamori's schedule was identical to mine, so we went to Law while Matsumoto dragged herself to gym.

When I followed Hinamori into the classroom, I was surprised that the teacher was wearing dark glasses and that there was no chalk to be found in the whole room even though there was a chalkboard, however disused it was. The students all greeted him as they entered the room, which lead me into believing that his name was Tousen-sensei.

He didn't quite seem to look at any of them when he acknowledged their presence.

"Good morning, Tousen-sensei." Hinamori bowed, and after an awkward moment, I bowed and greeted him as well.

"Good morning, Hinamori-san." He gestured to me. "And who might this be?"

"This is our new transfer student, Hitsugaya Toushiro-kun."

"I see." I thought I saw something change in his expression, but when I looked again, it's as it was initially, so I assumed that I imagined it. "Welcome to my class, Hitsugaya-san. I am Tousen Kaname." He turned back to Hinamori. "I take it that you'll tell him the rules?"

"Of course." She stalked off to a desk near the front of the room, then pointed to another desk next to it on the right. "You can sit there."

I nodded, sat down and she followed suit. Turning to her, I waited until she put her books on the floor. "So what are these rules?"

"There are really only three rules in this class."

"Okay, lay 'em on me."

"Rule number one, no blind jokes."

"So he _is_ blind."

"Yeah. Rule number two: when entering his class, make sure to greet him. That's his way of taking role."

"That makes sense."

"And the final, most important rule: no lying."

"I would think that goes without saying, since this is a _law_ class."

"You'd be surprised." She said just as the late bell rang and class began.

While the class had its interesting points, it wasn't particularly the most exciting class I've ever had. It's not that I had anything against Tousen-sensei's method of teaching, but saying the word 'justice' every other sentence was just a bit too much repetition for my liking.

After forty five minutes of Law, we moved on to our last class of the day, which I'd been warned of quite a number of times throughout the day by various different people: Physical Education.

At first, the class didn't seem like it was going to be so bad. The kids looked to be average, most were nice to me, and the gym still looked brand new. But then I saw my teacher. That kind of teacher every kid is scared to have for gym.

Zaraki Kenpachi.

He must have been at least six feet tall and had long dark hair that was styled into spikes. With a scar over one eye and an eye patch covering the other, he was certainly intimidating, but only if you saw him for what he actually looked like. The way I saw him, he reminded me of a pirate and I imagined a parrot sitting on his shoulder.

If I didn't have self-control, I probably would have laughed out loud. I was afraid to know what he would do if a student laughed in his class, much less at him, so I bit my tongue and held the thought back for a later date.

I would probably describe him to my parents as a pirate, anyway.

I soon learned that Zaraki-sensei was just as brutal as he looked. Just playing a friendly game of football turned insane with him as the coach for both teams and the referee (Luckily for us, we got to pick our own teams). A couple of us would pass the ball back and forth to confuse the other team and he'd tell us to stop dicking around. One kid got pushed and fell on his arm pretty badly, but when he asked to go to the nurse, Zaraki-sensei called him a pansy and didn't allow him to go.

The craziest moment was toward the end of the class. Our gym classes were divided by gender, so boys would do one thing and the girls another. They were farther out than us, so when they were going in to change, they walked right past the field we were playing on.

Even though it was fall, the temperatures could easily have confused someone into thinking that it was still summertime. So the girls would go swimming. Girls plus bikini-style swimming suits equals drooling teen males.

Most of the guys (myself not included) instantly stopped what they were doing to gape. With the lack of activity, Zaraki-sensei got annoyed and kicked the football into the back of one kid's head. The others swiftly rejoined the game. The boy that Zaraki-sensei hit was out cold and stayed lying there on the ground until the end of class (where our teacher woke him up with a bucket of ice cold water).

Just as I started thinking about what idiots those guys were, I spotted out of the corner of my eye a bathing suit that reminded me of a certain girl I had talked to numerous times that day. It was of a peach colour with frills and ribbons adorning it. I couldn't help but stare, and then the girl turned my way.

It was Hinamori.

She saw me, smiled and waved. I awkwardly waved back.

I heard something whirring through the air behind me and instinctively ducked. A blur of black and white flew right over my head. The football. Zaraki-sensei was looking my way, so I knew it was him. Glancing at the red-head on the ground, I considered myself to be one of the lucky ones.

"Let's go, Shorty!"

I joined my team and the game resumed.

Eventually, we were released back to the locker room and school ended four minutes after that. Once outside, I looked around for Hinamori and Matsumoto. I didn't know where Matsumoto lived, but Hinamori's house was just as prominent as the school, so everyone knew where it was. Even me, and I just moved there.

Both girls were easier to spot than I thought they would be, and soon the three of us were on our way home.

"How was gym, Toushiro?" Matsumoto asked when we were half a block away from the school.

"Not as bad as I thought it would be."

"Really? Most kids try to transfer out after having his class for the first time."

"I can see why, but I thought of him as a pirate. It's hard to be intimidated by a teacher if you imagine a talking parrot sitting on his shoulder, demanding crackers and cursing."

"A talking parrot?" Hinamori seemed surprised.

"Of course! But it has to have an eye patch as well, else it's just a regular parrot."

"...Alright then. If that image keeps you around the school, then so be it."

"If he's such a bad teacher, why is he still around?"

"He works for free."

"I see."

"Well guys, this is where I must bid you adieu." Matsumoto said as she turned into an alleyway.

"Bye, Rangiku-san!"

"See ya, Matsumoto."

That was followed by an awkward silence that lasted for two blocks.

"So where do you live, Hitsugaya-kun?"

"Me? I'm on Northern Broadway."

"Wow! That's so close to my house!"

"Yeah."

Another silence. I never have been good at keeping a conversation going for very long. A block and a half later, Hinamori broke it again.

"How do you like it here so far?"

"Well, I've been the new kid more often than not these past couple of years, but I have to say that this place is probably the best one I've been to, so far." I confessed.

"Why's that?"

"The town's got a lot of history, I have yet to meet anyone who was excessively rude or a bully, and the classes are relatively small, despite there being about eight hundred kids in the same building. But it's only my first day." I smirked then. "There is one big downer, though."

"What?"

"Gym."

"You said that Zaraki-sensei didn't scare you."

"He didn't. That's because I have a wild imagination and I let it run free. My mother keeps telling me that it's going to get me in trouble one of these days."

"Ha ha, my mother used to tell me the same thing."

"Used to?"

Hinamori dropped her head so she was looking at the ground. "Yes. She died two years ago."

"Oh. I'm sorry about that."

"No, it's fine." She tried to reassure me, but I could tell a lie from the truth.

"No, it's not. Two years is hardly enough time to recover from a loss." I paused. "It still hurts, doesn't it."

"...Yeah..." She looked up at me. "You spoke that as if from personal experience. If you don't mind me asking, what have you lost?" I felt a dark cloud forming over us.

I took a peek at a street sign for the street we were approaching. Broadway. "We've reached my stop." I was avoiding it. What she asked me. I don't want to answer it. "That thing I've lost...I'll tell you about it some other time, okay?"

She didn't look disappointed in me. It was more a look of sympathy. "A-Alright. See you tomorrow."

"Bye." I waved and walked down the street, searching for my house.

* * *

After only a bit of time and lots of revising and editing, this chapter is finally done! The next one is started already and the planning is looking alright, so look forward to an update soon! If I accidentally type Tousen- or Zaraki-taicho and somehow don't catch it in my insane editing process, please let me know.

Review if you liked it!

EDIT: This chapter is _hopefully_ going to get one hell of a re-write after I'm done with the story. I don't like how I wrote it, looking back on it now. This chapter doesn't even really hold any substance; it's just filler. That must change.

Note: I'm known by my editor to be obsessed with making changes and revisions to stories. I'm sorry, but I'm never happy with anything I write. (Currently, I'm banned from looking over the final chapter, because I've changed it at least six times, making it longer every time. It's going to be re-written, again, when it comes time to post it.)


	3. Asthenia

Hey look, hey look! It's chapter two already! Well, not 'already, as it's been awhile since the last update, but on a positive note, I can tell you that the next chapter should be done soon, then the next bunch of chapters are planned out (up to eleven). There shouldn't be more than twenty chapters, since this whole thing is going to be over a span of less than a month.

(Shh! That was a tiny spoiler there. But unless you are me, Puddinmasta or another friend, you shouldn't know what's going to happen. Said people should not mention the ending.)

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. Chapter title belongs to Blink-182.

My Own Worst Nightmare

By Kouzumi93

Chapter 2: Asthenia

_I'm running._

_I don't know where to, but I get this feeling that I need to get there fast._

_My surroundings are a blur, but I can tell that it's some sort of maze._

_I keep encountering dead ends._

_I'm looking for something._

_What is it?_

_Why is it important?_

_I turn a corner. There are two figures whose edges are blurred together on the ground._

_I don't know them._

_I can't see their faces._

_So why am I suddenly so elated?_

_Then there's a third person, also blurry to my vision._

_My emotions change to anger._

_There is a muffled conversation. I don't know what is being said._

_Am I talking?_

_A flash of silver makes me stop moving._

_Everything goes numb._

_A burst of crimson flies at me._

_I don't know what's going on._

_And then..._

I woke up.

Panting, I sat up in my bed and saw that I had kicked all of my blankets to the floor. I had also knocked over most everything on my bedside table, one item in particular standing out above the rest to me.

A picture frame.

I stared at its fallen form for a moment before setting it upright.

It was a picture of a grinning, dark-haired girl with teal eyes.

"Nee-chan..."

I sighed. _Today...Today will be interesting, to say the least._ I thought to myself.

After taking a shower and getting dressed, I went downstairs to the kitchen to find my mother cooking eggs on the stove. My father was drinking coffee and reading the newspaper while sitting at the table in the middle of the room.

A picture perfect family.

My mother greeted me as I entered the room. I took a seat across from my father and my mother placed a plate of eggs in front of me. I don't recall a conversation that morning, but that was normal on school mornings. I ate quickly, put the dishes into the sink, grabbed my backpack and left for school.

It was seven forty five.

Stepping onto the main street, I saw some other students making their way to school. Among them, I spotted Hinamori a block closer to the school than me. I was conflicted about trying to catch up to her, as I recalled the conversation from the day before.

I still wasn't ready to tell her about it. Hell, I could barely think about it, much less talk about it. Five years had passed since that day and I still couldn't. But I told her I would, so I was obligated to keep that promise.

Sighing yet again, I began the long walk to the school, hoping that she would forget about it before seeing me.

It took me eight minutes to reach the old mansion-turned-schoolhouse. Most students were already present, and I saw Hinamori greet Matsumoto under a large sakura tree that was close to the main entrance of the building. I dropped my head and braced myself to approach them. Hinamori noticed me and waved.

But she hadn't forgotten. As I approached, I could see that there was something in her eyes. A look that I couldn't quite place, but I had an idea that it was something along the lines of sympathy.

"Morning, Hitsugaya-kun!" She exclaimed when I stopped in front of her.

"Morning."

"Have you started researching old data for our bet yet, Toushiro?" Matsumoto asked, smirking.

"No, not yet. I'm not sure where I could possibly start to look."

"You could try the library."

"The school's?"

"No, the public library. They have information on just about everything."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. I'm probably heading over there after school to see if I can't dig anything up."

"In that case, I suppose I'll have to tag along with you."

"You don't _have_ to."

"Yes I do."

"Why's that?"

"To make sure that if you do find anything, you don't read it wrong or lie about what it says."

"Why would I do something like that?"

"Because you seem to be the type of person who is a sore loser."

"That's mean."

"Rangiku-san, it you put as much effort into your schoolwork as you are for this one bet, do you know how much better your grades would be?" Hinamori questioned the senior.

"Yeah, but schoolwork is no fun. Bets are, because someone always has to lose."

"School could be like a bet if you think about it." I remarked.

"Alright, well who loses when I graduate?"

After a moment of contemplation, I replied. "The other students in your grade."

"Why would they lose?"

The ringing of the school bell saved me from answering. "I'll tell you at lunch." I said, knowing that she would easily forget long before that.

"Okay!"

We went to our homerooms after that. Hinamori and I had Kyouraku-sensei for homeroom and first period, math, so we parted from one another to go to our lockers and get what we would need for the morning. My locker was closer to our classroom than hers, so I stood next to the door and waited for her.

Less than two minutes later, I spotted her just down the hall, hugging her books to her chest and watching her feet, again with that look in her eyes. I felt like it was my fault. When she was approximately two metres away, I started to call out to her. But she stepped up to me and stopped me.

She kept her eyes down as she spoke. "Hitsugaya-kun, don't worry about yesterday. You don't have to tell me about anything you don't want to." She flicked her eyes back up at me. "Just don't force yourself."

I must have stared at her for a full minute before replying. "No, I think I owe you for bringing up your Mum."

She looked up again. "Are you sure? The way you reacted from my asking yesterday makes me think that it's something that is much more painful than you're letting on."

I stayed silent for a moment, trying to decide what I could do. "Alright, if you come with Matsumoto and I to the library after school, I'll tell the both of you about it."

Hinamori seemed shocked. "A-Are you sure?"

"Yeah." No. "I heard somewhere before that it's easier to get over something if you talk about it."

"Where did you hear that?"

"I don't remember." Yes I do. It was one of those damned therapy sessions.

"Oh. Well I'm sure it's a true statement. I mean, why would someone give advice that was only a lie?"

"I don't know." Because they think it sounds intelligent and they just want their damned pay checks. Stupid psychologists.

Just then, the bell signalled the start of our classes. In math class, we learned some bullshit problems that would probably never be of any use to us. After we were released from math, Hinamori and I went three rooms down to our Local History classroom. Local History was taught by Ukitake-sensei and Shiba-sensei, and they both also taught the sophomore history class.

The topic for the class was the downtown area of the city, what with its dozens upon dozens of historical buildings. But then Ukitake-sensei's tuberculosis flared up and Shiba-sensei took him to the infirmary. Shiba-sensei came back five minutes later and continued the lesson from where Ukitake-sensei left off.

Language Arts was next. The teacher was a stuck-up noble named Kuchiki Byakuya-sensei. He could teach just fine, albeit arrogantly, but there were some kids that just didn't get it. An orange-haired kid and a bald guy would mess up on deciphering kanji and would argue with a red-haired boy over who was right. Usually Kuchiki-sensei would kick them out.

That class could never end fast enough for me and I always wished that I didn't even have to take the course. Stupid school officials and their damned 'required' classes.

After leaving the torture chamber, I mean, the Language Arts room, Hinamori and I crossed two hallways to get to our Physics classroom. The teacher was an oddball blond man who had a tendency to wear a striped hat in school. Urahara-sensei was a funny guy and his class was easy, but his phrase 'It's all physics' got old rather quickly.

Even so, he was easily distracted, so we could start out talking about momentum and end the class discussing the negative effects of steroid use (I thought that was more of a chemistry thing, but I didn't dare say anything). With this type of sporadic class, you never knew what you'd get on any given day, but it certainly made things more interesting.

The class that followed was one I wished I'd never signed up for: Art. Not that I hated the subject, but I definitely detested that teacher. Ise-sensei. Most of the guys took the class because they thought she was hot, and girls because it was an easy 'A.'

Well, an easy 'A' if you disliked art or couldn't draw too well.

Finally, after forty-five minutes of listening to her drone on and on about the damned colour wheel, it was time for World History, which was also known as 'The Last Class Before Lunch' to most students. My class was always riled up, and no one ever really paid much attention, but Ukitake-sensei either didn't notice or just didn't let it bother him. Shiba-sensei was much the same.

I don't recall what we did that day, just that Ukitake-sensei was still out from that morning, and that Shiba-sensei was being more of a goofball than usual. At twelve thirty, the lunch bell rang and those who had third lunch poured from their classrooms, congesting the hallways to the point that I could barely get through.

The way lunch worked, we could go to the cafeteria to buy our food or bring our own, and we could eat in the cafeteria or in the courtyard. Hinamori and I met up with Matsumoto, got our lunches and headed for the outdoors.

It was another warm day, but it was overcast and I heard there was a forecast for rain later in the afternoon. We sat down at a table that fell halfway between the cafeteria doors and the central tower. The tower blocked the sun from us, but it still wasn't too cold. The breeze felt nice to me, so I closed my eyes to savour the feeling for a moment.

"Hitsugaya-kun, are you alright?" Hinamori sounded concerned.

I opened my eyes and glanced at her. "Yeah, I'm fine." Not really. I'd been thinking about _that_ event most of the day.

Hinamori was more perspective than I thought about how I really felt. "You know, it's going to rain this afternoon. We can just go home after school and you can talk about...what happened...some other time."

I shook my head. "No, I don't want to push it off. That only makes it harder." Not mine. That idea...was not mine.

"I see."

"You've been distant today, Toushiro." Matsumoto suddenly stated.

"Have I?"

"Yeah. There's been this far-off look in your eyes all day. What's up with you?"

"I guess I'm trying to encourage a mindset."

"As long as you're not encouraging depression."

"I'm far from depressed." Not really.

"Are you sure?" Asked Hinamori.

No. "Of course."

She didn't look convinced, but the topic dropped and we ate the rest of our lunch with minimal chatter. The bell signalled the end of freedom for us, and we were forced to cram ourselves back into the stuffy classrooms. The last two classes conducted much like the day before, and the next thing I knew, it was time to leave.

I began to mentally panic.

I didn't think I could do it. Having only seven hours to prepare for talking about something that drastically changed my life wasn't enough. Then again, all the time in the world probably wouldn't be enough.

Hinamori was waiting outside the school for me, Matsumoto standing at her side. The three of us walked in absolute silence to the library. I'd never been there before, so I merely trailed along behind them as they led the way. The way it looked, the library was in the opposite direction of my house. I figured I'd get lost if I wandered off.

We arrived in less than nine minutes. I started to feel nauseous.

"You guys go on ahead and sit down somewhere. I'm going to grab a glass of water and meet you there." I needed that water because I'd probably puke without it or my throat would dry out the moment I began to speak.

"A-Alright." Hinamori hesitated, but Matsumoto shook her head.

We parted ways then, them to the seating areas, me to the bathrooms, which were rather easy to find with all of the signs indicating them. I turned around a particularly large bookcase and bumped into something, causing me to tumble backwards to the floor.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't see you there." A hand reached out and I was pulled to my feet. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." It was a man who looked to be in his thirties. He had wavy brown hair and glasses, and his voice sounded kind. "I'd better be getting back to my friends. We're doing some research."

"Oh? On what?"

"The origin of the High School. We made a bet over a rumour, and so I'm trying to prove it wrong." I didn't think about it then, but I wonder now why it was that I talked so easily to that stranger.

"Which rumour?"

"That one about the tunnel under the town made by the two 'lovers'. I think it's a load of bullshit, so until they show me evidence proving otherwise, I refuse to believe."

"They're not going to have much here on that. But I believe I read somewhere that it was true, and it even mentioned what the curse placed on each family was."

"Really?"

"Yes. They were similar, but they reflected each family's perspective on harsh punishment. If I remember correctly, the curse on the Hinamori family is that if anyone falls in love with anyone from the school family's bloodline, he or she will die. The other family's curse was something along the lines of, 'if his descendants ever fell in love with a descendant of a Hinamori, it could bring about the end of the world.'"

"That's a little extreme."

"Do you think so?"

"Yeah. The place you got that information, did it mention the other family's name? I can't seem to come across it anywhere."

"I'm sure it was in there somewhere, but I don't quite recall what it was."

"I see." I glanced at a clock on the wall and noticed the time. Another minute and Matsumoto would have a search team after me. "I should get going."

"Of course, you can't let your friends research on their own." He paused, looking thoughtful for a moment. "By the way, I'm Aizen Sousuke."

Nothing. No thought crossed my mind on why this man was introducing himself. I figured at the time that he was only being polite. "I'm Hitsugaya Toushiro. Thanks for that information!"

And I ran off.

I got my glass of water and wandered through the library in search of Hinamori and Matsumoto. I finally saw them at an isolated table near the back. Matsumoto had a book opened up in front of her, a rare sight, and Hinamori was just sitting there, her hands folded in her lap. She looked like she was thinking intently about something.

Probably wondering what was taking me so long to get one measly glass of water.

Before they could see me, I ducked behind a bookshelf. Taking a few deep breaths, I took a sip from the glass of water. I was shaking. I hadn't actually ever told anyone about this loss of mine before, so just going out on a whim and telling two people I barely knew was difficult. But it was too late by that point.

I was in too deep to get myself out without hurting someone.

One last shaking breath and I stepped away from the book case.

_It's now or never._

How I wished it could have been never.

"Hey, what took you so long, Toushiro?" Matsumoto asked, looking up from the book.

"I got distracted." I sat down at the table to Hinamori's left.

"You know..." Hinamori started.

I raised my hand to stop her from continuing. "Stop. I know what you're going to say because you've been saying it all day. But it's alright. I said I'd do this, so I will."

There was a moment of silence before I spoke again.

"My sister...she was one of those athletic people. She was a swimmer, she ran track, played volleyball, everything. There wasn't a sport she couldn't play. And she was smart, too. Always had 'A's in every class she took. But then one day, she and her friend were on their way home from some practice or other when they were hit by another car. Both cars were totalled, and my sister's friend was killed on the spot. Natsume-neechan survived, but she was paralyzed from the waist down. After that, she was never the same.

"About two months later, my parents asked her to babysit me while they went out somewhere; I don't remember where they went. At around six that evening, I got hungry, so I went looking for my sister...

~Flashback~

"Nee-chan!" I wandered out of the living room, into the kitchen and back again. Went into the study, looked in the dining room, checked my room and my parents' room, but I couldn't find her. "Natsume-neechan, where are you? I'm hungry." That's when I saw that her door was closed, so I approached it. I heard music on the other side. "Nee-chan, are you in there?" I knocked on the door.

"Don't come in here, Toushiro." She seemed frantic, but I didn't take much notice to it at that time.

"But Nee-chan, I'm hungry!"

"I'll make you something in a few minutes. Just go watch TV or something."

Gullible as children are, I said okay and turned away from her door, starting to take the same route back to the living room. Passing my parents' room, I saw that a drawer of a table on my father's side of the bed was opened a little. Moving in closer, I tugged it open the rest of the way, seeing small white boxes inside. I picked one up and golden bullet casings fell out. Staring at them for a moment, I realized something. "If these are the bullets, then where is...!"

I ran back to my sister's door. "Natsume-neechan, someone stole-" I threw open the door only an instant before a gunshot sounded.

I remember everything vividly, and various images were burned into my memory. Natsume's hand on the trigger of my father's gun. Her body falling out of her wheelchair as if in slow motion. Blood splattering against the walls and myself.

Natsume's blood. I was coated in it. She was right behind the door, facing away from it.

"Natsume-neechan!" I knelt at her side and shook her. "Hey, wake up! Come on! This is just a joke, right? Nee-chan!" The wound was in her head. There was no way she could have survived, and maybe I knew that. But I was scared. What was I supposed to do? I didn't exactly know how to call for help, so I just kept repeating her name over and over again. I don't know how long I sat there, but I recall my voice getting weaker with each word that I said.

~End Flashback~

"My parents found me like that. Sitting there at my sister's side, stroking her bloodied hair and calling out for her, long after my voice had gone hoarse. But I never cried."

"Not once?" Matsumoto asked, rather surprised.

"Well, not until I understood what had happened." I took another sip of water. It was almost gone by that point.

"So that's why she didn't want you to go into her room. She didn't want you to see." Hinamori said, staring down at her hands in her lap. She seemed disturbed.

I nodded, my throat feeling like it was closing up.

She glanced up at me. "Hey, are you alright?" She stood up, looking concerned. "You're crying."

"I am?" I raised my hand to my cheek and found that it was indeed wet. "I...am..."

"Hitsugaya-kun?" Hinamori put her hand on my shoulder.

I felt my carefully constructed barrier crash down into smithereens. My body shook violently. "I just...I miss her so much. By now, she could be a senior in college and maybe engaged or something. But...then she went and ended it so soon."

Two arms wrapped themselves around me. "This is the point at which I should be telling you that everything is going to be alright, but we both know it's not. Not yet, at least. Something like that...I can't even imagine it. For you to have seen it is...just so...It must have been so painful."

I stayed silent. I wished I didn't know what it was like to have a loved one die right in front of me.

The tears flowed steadily, and Hinamori just held me. A welcomed comfort. But I was still shaking. My sister's mutilated face with its satisfied expression would never leave me. I couldn't even bring myself to say anything about it.

Thunder resounded in the distance.

"Oh shit, it's gonna rain soon." Matsumoto said, jumping up. "We'd better get out of here before that happens."

"Yeah. Hitsugaya-kun, I'll walk you home." Hinamori let go of me and I shakily rose to my feet.

"No, you don't have to do that."

"But I want to. It's the least I can do for making you relive something so horrible."

"But it's out of your way."

"Not really. It's just a little detour. Let's go."

I sighed, knowing that there was no way to win against her. "Yeah."

The three of us donned our coats, gathered our books, put everything back to how we found it and rushed from the library, desperate to get home before the rain caught us.

At least, the other two didn't want to be outside when it began to rain. But me, I rather enjoyed the rain when I was feeling a little depressed. It made me feel numb and then nothing mattered.

"So Hitsugaya-kun, what are your parents like?" Hinamori asked after Matsumoto had left us and gone down her street.

"My mother is just a housewife, but she's always cheerful. I don't think I've ever even seen her sick with anything. And my father is a factory manager in the next town over. It's great pay, but I don't get to see him too often. It's usually just in the mornings and late evenings that he's home. Sometimes the weekends, too."

"That doesn't sound so bad, though."

"Yeah, I guess not."

Hinamori hesitated. "I-If you don't mind me asking, how did they react to...what happened to your sister?"

"Hitsugayaddd""""""'The accident or her suicide?" I acted calm on the outside, but I inwardly flinched at the word 'suicide.' I hated that word.

"Either."

"I don't really remember much after Natsume-neechan died, but I don't think they really changed much. I know it took my mother a long while to getting used to the idea of only having one child to care for, but now it's like it's always just been me."

"What about your father?"

"He...I don't think he really changed at all after either incident. Maybe he's just trying to be strong for my mother, I don't know."

"I see. I've heard that some people turn to alcohol after a tragedy to get rid of the pain, but it doesn't seem like your folks did."

"Oh no, there's no way they would have. My mother hates the smell of it and my father just doesn't like it."

"That's good."

We walked in silence for a while after that. Less than three blocks from my street, more images from my sister's death plagued my head again to the point where they messed with my vision. I closed my eyes tightly and fought the images back. I ceased walking and leaned back against the wall of a building. Hinamori stopped as well.

"You okay?"

"I will be. Just give me a second."

So there we stood. Rain was threatening to drown us, thunder was roaring, lightning was streaking across the sky and the wind was howling violently, but still we remained glued to the building.

Eventually, the images subsided enough so as not to interfere with my sight as much, and so we pressed onward.

Broadway came up much sooner than I had expected it to.

"Which house is it?" My female companion inquired.

"It's toward the end of the block. But you don't have to go the rest of the way with me."

"No, no, I should. Your mother might have been worrying about you, so I'll be there to vouch for you."

"But really, it's-"

"Come on, which house."

I sighed, defeated. "Second to last on the left."

"The tan one?"

"Yeah."

The closer we got, the more anxious I became. Would it be written all over my face that I was more than a little upset? Would my mother be able to tell immediately, even if I put on a façade?

I decided that it couldn't hurt too much to try. I cleared my mind of all thoughts and took a long, deep breath of the quickly cooling air. I could practically taste the rain in it, there was that much water vapour there.

"This is the one, right?" Hinamori asked, pointing to my house.

I nodded. "Yeah, this is the one." I started up the steps to the porch. "You can go home now."

But Hinamori, being Hinamori, followed me. "I can't vouch for you if I'm not around, now can I?"

"I never asked you to vouch for me." I opened the door into the kitchen and my mother stood up from the table.

"Toushiro, where have you been?" She didn't sound angry, merely concerned.

"I was at the library, studying with some friends." As if on cue, Hinamori stepped out from behind me and waved.

"Good evening. I'm Hinamori Momo. I'm sorry we kept him for so long." Hinamori held out her hand.

My mother shook her hand. "I'm Hitsugaya Minako. And don't worry about it. As long as it was just studying, I don't see a problem at all."

Hinamori seemed somewhat shocked about something. She turned to me, confusion written all over her face. "Hitsugaya-kun...what's going on?"

* * *

What do you think is going to happen next? What _is_ going on?

Oh, and I actually have the floor plans for the apartment from when his sister died and his new home on Broadway made. Well, not only the floor plans, I went and made both in The Sims 2. If you want a better visual of the homes, just ask me and I'll upload them somewhere. (Probably MTS2, 'cause that's the easiest for me.)

Also, on a random note, the classes he takes and the way he sees the classes are basically my opinion of my own (tiny) school. I hate the art teacher and my American Literature teacher, and math is basically useless. Kudos and hugs to anyone who knows who Urahara is based off of. (:D Physics...)

Review if you would, please~!


	4. MEMORIES IN THE RAIN

I'm sorry that this took so long to get posted. The lag in updates is merely a preview of my summer laziness. Motivation and sense of time go out the window, so I'll really need some encouragement to keep up with posting. My editor is away all summer, so I won't even have her to kick my ass if I don't do anything (although she's just as lazy, so it's a no-win situation).

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. Chapter title belongs to...well it's sung by Masakazu Morita. :)

My Own Worst Nightmare

By Kouzumi93

Chapter 3: MEMORIES IN THE RAIN

Hinamori turned to me, confusion written all over her face. "Hitsugaya-kun...What's going on?" There was an odd tone to her voice.

I heard what sounded like glass shattering, and then it suddenly seemed to me as if I was staring through a broken window at another world on the other side. Maybe a world parallel to this one, because my mother was on the other side, but she was looking frail and sickly.

_That can't be right_, I thought. "Okaa-san, I'm going to take my backpack upstairs and clean up for dinner, okay?"

Her opposite self nodded. "Alright."

"You'd better get out of here soon, Hinamori. You don't want to get yourself caught up in the storm." I indicate the terrible weather that had been brewing for a while.

"Yeah, I'll probably leave in a minute or so."

"That would be good." I waved as a good-bye supplement and exited the room through an archway to the left, made an immediate right and started up the stairs. In the upstairs hallway, my door was the first of three, so I entered and tossed my backpack on a lounge chair by my TV. There was a door directly across the entrance to my room that led into my bathroom, though it wasn't really mine because it was accessible from the hallway as well. I pulled the door open and walked in, not bothering to close the door once I'd passed through it.

I washed my hands and face, then stood staring at my own reflection in the mirror for a few minutes. I could see it. Maybe because I was searching for it, but it was definitely there.

That look of guilt in my eyes.

I could usually conceal it around other people, but since I had forced myself to all but go back in time, everything I felt that day was resurfacing. It was getting harder and harder to hold everything back, but it's not like I could go to anyone. It was my problem because it was my fault.

I let my sister kill herself.

I dried my hands and face then and exited the bathroom through the door that would take me into the hallway, once again leaving the door open. All of the doors in the house squealed when you opened them, so I had a tendency to leave them open all the time. My mother usually was the one who closed them.

Descending the stairs, I heard whispering in the kitchen. I stopped on the bottom stair and listened through the wall.

"...he gets depressed when he talks about it and he'll usually hide out somewhere for a while, rarely eating or sleeping." It was my mother, and I could already tell that I was the topic of the conversation.

"Is he alright?" Hinamori. It seemed that she hadn't left yet.

"No. Physically, he's under weight and short for his age. Mentally, it's another story altogether."

I closed my eyes. _Don't say it. Just end the conversation there._

Hinamori hesitated, and the squeak of the floor told me that she stood up from the table. "I'm sure it's something that I don't need to know."

_Yes Hinamori, you're on the right track. Now stay on it and go home._

"Even so, I would feel more at ease if at least one of his friends knew what was going on."

_Shit._

My mother took a deep breath before continuing. "He suffers from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. He believes that his father has never touched a bottle of sake in his entire life and that I'm still healthy. That seemed alright in the beginning because it was the only way he could cope with Natsume's death. But then a year went by and he still was acting like that. No matter how much time goes by, it doesn't even dim, and we've run out of options to the point where we're just playing along."

I started to feel sick.

"Isn't there anything else you can do?"

I stepped off the step and walked in the direction opposite the kitchen, then into the living room, through the study and passed through the archway to the dining room. The house was a basic square and one more right turn would put me in the kitchen.

But that wasn't where I was headed.

"...therapy, everything. Nothing has been the least bit effective." My mother's voice was laced with emotion and she sounded close to tears. "We're just so worried about him."

I stepped up to the back door, turned the handle and slipped out into the cool night air. I closed the door behind me, probably louder than I should have but it didn't bother me. My mother would've known I was gone sooner or later, so I was just directly letting her know. But I knew the kind of person Hinamori was, and I figured she'd be chasing after me before too long, so I started to run. Nearly slipping and falling off of the porch, I caught myself and kept going. Where I was headed, I wasn't sure, but I felt that I just had to keep going.

I don't know how long I ran for. All I know is that I continued to wander aimlessly until I found myself in a park. I looked around, didn't see anyone and dropped down with my back against a tree trunk, closing my eyes at the same time. I wanted to fall asleep and never wake up.

_How nice that would be._

Someone approached, but I pretended not to notice, only sustained the idea that I was deep in thought.

"Hitsugaya-kun." It was Hinamori, and she sounded like she was out of breath.

_She must've run the whole way here as well._ I thought while opening one eye to acknowledge her presence.

"Why did you run away?"

"...I don't know." I shut my eye again, hinting that I wanted the conversation to end there.

"Yes you do. Talk to me."

I stayed silent, much to her disliking.

"Please, Hitsugaya-kun?"

"I don't want to." I stated firmly.

"C'mon. There's a café across the street. We can talk in there because we're going to get soaked out here."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"We'll get sick if we stay out here in the cold rain."

"Nothing is holding you here. You can go if you desire it so badly."

"What's holding you here, then?"

I remained silent. She was reminding me of a therapist, which may be the only reason I closed myself off to her during that conversation.

"If you don't start talking soon, I'm going to call Rangiku-san over here and have her knock some sense into you."

"I don't care."

"Why not?"

"Because it's not going to change anything."

"Nothing's going to change if you don't let anyone help you."

"I'm well aware of that."

"Then why do you keep doing this?"

"...I don't know what you're talking about."

"Do you know how frustrating you are?"

"Quite well, actually." I smirked. My eyes still remained unopened, but I could just imagine the angry expression on her face.

"So you're not going to start talking yet?"

The smirk fell away. "Not a chance."

Before I knew what was going on, there suddenly was a pressure on my lips. When I opened my eyes, I was shocked to find that the pressure I felt was actually Hinamori's lips on mine. She pulled back as soon as she saw that my eyes were open. Her cheeks were red from blushing, and my own face felt hotter than ever.

"Wh-what the hell did you do that for?" I demanded. I hadn't even realized when she sat down, and the fact that she had gotten so close to me without my knowing unnerved me.

She seemed to be embarrassed. "I-I thought you m-might open up a bit if I showed some affection." I must've looked puzzled, because she added on a clarification. "It always works in the movies."

A long, awkward silence followed. Hinamori looked like she was mentally beating herself up over her actions and I was still trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. Our red faces didn't waver a bit as we avoided each other's gaze.

I felt like a jerk now. If I hadn't been imagining her as a therapist, if I'd just seen her as a concerned friend, neither of us would be in this awkward spot. But the truth is that I really didn't even know where I could start. The situation was complicated, not to mention jumbled up in my head. If _I_ could hardly make sense of it, then how was I supposed to explain it to someone else?

After another minute, I decided I would at least reveal the main reason I'd left. That was what Hinamori wanted, anyway. "My parents are mad at me."

Hinamori looked up, shocked at my sudden response. "Why would they be mad at you?"

"Because I just can't forget Nee-chan's death. Not that they want me to completely forget it, but at least they want me to be able to move forward again. There is a number of words that can set me off, so when they try to make me 'better' with therapists and shit like that, it makes me want to go back to the times where nothing was wrong."

"In other words, they got the opposite result of what they wanted?"

"You could say that."

"I'm sure that your parents are just trying to look out for you. Most parents only want the best for their children."

"Yeah, I know that." I paused. "I know that all too well."

"Do you want to go back home now?"

"No, not yet."

"How about the café?"

"Not really."

"We're still getting soaked, you know."

"It's raining?" I held my hand out and looked up. It was indeed raining, but it was more like pouring.

"It has been."

"I didn't notice."

"Is there anywhere you want to go?"

"Is time travel possible?"

"No."

"Then there's your answer. Besides, the rain isn't bothering me." Actually, it was doing quite the opposite. The rain can do wonders for those who are not feeling quite up to par.

Hinamori sat with me in silence for a while before she suddenly sneezed.

"Go home already. You're going to get really sick if you stay out here for much longer, and I'm sure your father will be worried about you."

The expression on her face was odd, then it morphed into one that was more filled with concern for me. "But what about you?"

"I'll be fine." She didn't look convinced. "Alright, I'll go home when I'm feeling up to it."

"When is that going to be?"

"I don't know. Possibly before midnight."

"Possibly?"

"I want some time alone to think about some things."

"I see. Well I guess I'll see you at school tomorrow." I hadn't meant what I said as a stab at her, but I realized that she might have taken it as one.

I nodded, but I wasn't even sure that I would be attending school the next day. When that mood arose, I had a tendency to just wander around and skip school. That was the last place I wanted to be.

Rather, the second-to-last place. Last was my own house.

After a bit of hesitation on her part, Hinamori stood up, waved a good-bye and left. I don't know if I felt relieved or saddened that she had left, but I drowned whatever it was and closed my eyes, only to have an image of my sister's ever-grinning face greet me.

That grinning face that used to soothe all of my troubles, but now only brought painful memories with it.

My eyes snapped open. _Not now. Not now. Not now._

Lightning made me wince but I tried to keep watching the lightning to suffocate my thoughts. The less I thought, the less pain there was going to be. I had done this many times before, and before I knew it, I was running.

The dream from that morning was there again.

Nothing had changed, and I couldn't hear or see any better than then, either. The sequence of events fell the same, my emotions were identical and the conversation seemed to be the same.

A flash of silver followed by fear. Red took over my vision and I was awakened, gasping for air once again. I noticed after a moment that the thunder and lightning had ceased, but the rain still pounded on, albeit not quite as bad as before.

Pulling myself up, I stretched a bit and looked around. Everything was dark and I didn't see anyone around, but that was probably to be expected. Normal people didn't sleep in the park, proving the idea that I'm not exactly normal.

I decided that I might as well go home and get some things that I would need. I wasn't sure if I'd be staying or not, but I had to get a change of clothes either way. I couldn't keep running around in the same outfit.

Since I had run so blindly to the park, I wasn't quite sure how I was supposed to get home. The city was the largest I'd ever lived in, and all of the important buildings were scattered, so it wasn't like I could find one and know where I was. I had to find the main street before I could even _think_ of going home.

If it had been daylight, I would've just looked for Hinamori's mansion and gone from there, but it was dark, foggy and raining. I was lucky enough if I could see across the street I was standing on.

A while and a number of wrong turns later, I was staring up at my house once more. Despite its light tan clapboard and slightly darker coloured roof, it almost seemed darker and creepier that night. Maybe I was just trying to find a reason not to go in, but I would have surely regretted it later on.

A deep sigh and I was walking up those three or four steps that led to the porch, the glass door standing just beyond that. As soon as I looked at the door, I realized a stupid thing I had forgotten to plan for.

It was locked. The front door was locked.

I tried it just to be certain, and it was surely not going to open. I couldn't get in that way. I glared at the door for a few minutes, as if doing so would force it to unlock itself. When that failed, I snuck around the house to the back door. My mother would sometimes leave it unlocked if I was away for the night (or if I ran away), so that was my only legal option left.

To my pleasant surprise, I found the door unlocked, so I quietly slipped in.

The house was as quiet as it should've been for two in the morning, and once I was in, I stepped out of my shoes, peeled off my socks and rolled up the bottoms of my pants so as not to drip too much water onto the floor.

Gliding through the dining room, I entered the kitchen and was about to pass the table in there when I noticed a piece of paper lying on top of it. Approaching it, I recognised my mother's handwriting and then saw that it was for me.

I mentally noted that my hands were still wet and ended up reading the letter from where I stood.

'_Toushiro,_

'_I'm not sure how much of that conversation you overheard, but you must believe me when I say that it wasn't meant to make you upset. Your friend seemed to be genuinely concerned for you, and I figured that if you trusted her enough to reveal what happened on that day, it wouldn't hurt for her to be made aware of the entire situation._

'_I don't know what time you're coming home, or if you're going to be leaving again, but please take care of yourself. It is difficult for a mother to entrust such a responsibility onto her child, especially since it should be her own role, but after all that has happened, I trust that you are more than capable of keeping yourself alive._

'_Please be safe,_

'_Mum.'_

I read over it twice more, then turned away from it and resumed my initial mission for clothing.

In absolute silence, I climbed the stairs two-by-two and reached the top in under thirty seconds. My door was closed, but then I recalled leaving both doors to 'my' bathroom open. I crept down the hall, past my parent's bedroom door, through the bathroom and ended in my room.

Looking around, I saw that everything was as I had left it in the afternoon, but I knew that it didn't mean that no one had been in there since I'd left.

Without wasting another moment, I grabbed my backpack from where I tossed it on a chair, opened it up and threw in numerous things. Some clothing from my dresser, my wallet, my house key and various other items that I felt I might want later. Of course, nothing I took was sitting out in the open, because I never knew what my parents would notice was out of place. (Although, I would find out later that my book bag gave my return away. I still don't know why it never dawned on me that it was in plain sight.)

Once I decided that I had enough to last me a few days, I closed the zipper of my backpack, slung it over my shoulder and retraced my steps to the back door, ignoring the paper in the kitchen. I pulled my shoes and socks back on, noting that they had gotten quite cold from the last time I'd had them on.

Minutes later, I was back on the street. At first, I didn't know where to go, but I quickly came to the conclusion of going back to the park. It was still a new town for me, and I didn't know of anywhere else I _could_ go. The thought of going to Hinamori's had come up in my head, but I didn't want to disturb her.

I'd bothered her with enough of my problems for the day (Not to mention we both probably still felt a little off about what happened earlier. I surely did).

The trip back to the park was almost as it had been the first time, only I wasn't running as fast as then. I wasn't paying attention to anything, but I don't even recall what I was thinking about to have gotten so lost in thought.

Perhaps I didn't think of anything.

Despite the fact that there was a decent amount of trees in the park, I managed to sit myself back down under the same tree I had left only about an hour earlier. I set my book bag to one side of myself, leaned back against the tree trunk and closed my eyes.

The rain had all but ceased, and, other than that drizzle, the only thing that served as a reminder of the violent storm was a somewhat gentle breeze passing through the trees.

It really felt nice.

Lying there, appearing to anyone who might see me as someone without a care in the world felt great. If only that could've been true, but I couldn't have been more opposite of 'great'.

My head was swarming with the day's events, and while I wanted nothing more than to just sleep them away, it was impossible. Whenever I tried to think of something to put me to sleep, I could only see Natsume-neechan. It wasn't the same face that I saw when I was trying to sleep earlier, although that grin of hers would have been more appreciated at this point. She was still smiling, but it was a hollow smile, because it was the smile on her face when she died.

The lifeless face of hers that had haunted my dreams for years had only recently (meaning just a few months) subsided from them, and now it was beginning to resurface. Normally, I might just pretend I didn't know the reason for my sister's 'return', but it was just too obvious to ignore.

Hinamori.

It wasn't her fault that she was the reason, and I'm not so sure it was my revealing my past that did it either. Actually, it was more likely because of Hinamori herself. It wasn't anything she could help, seeing as the problem was her personality.

It was just like Nee-chan's.

But maybe I'd known that from the moment I'd met Hinamori. Maybe I saw Nee-chan in her from the start and I've been hanging around her in an effort to replace Natsume-neechan. Maybe I was just pretending in my head that Hinamori really _was_ Natsume-neechan, and she was just staying with another family for a little while; that she would return home soon.

It wouldn't surprise me if that was the reason my mother talked to her so freely. My mother could see it just as easily as I could, and she also may have had the same ideas in her head that I had mused over.

Hinamori and Natsume-neechan were just about identical.

Although Nee-chan never would've kissed me on the lips.

That thought entertained my sleep-deprived mind for a while before I finally drifted off to sleep.

* * *

This got delayed quite a bit due to laziness, distractions, other stuff, and I just didn't know where to go with it. Not where...more like _how_ to get where I wanted to go. I have only basic plot points and conversations planned out ahead of time, so if there is a big jump from one to another, it might take me a while to fill it in.

On a chapter-relevant note, you guys weren't supposed to get the romance this early. It wasn't supposed to show up until chapter six, but some sleep-deprivation induced writing made me put it in here. (Should I apologize?) I think I like it here better than where it was planned, surprisingly. But the other place was more symbolic, for secret reasons.

Review and tell me if this chapter suits your tastes!

See you next time!


	5. And The Hero Will Drown

I'm so sorry for the long wait! There are so many 'reasons' I could give for why I'm so late, but let's just face it: I'm lazy as hell. (The title chapters have changed, by the way. Now they are all from songs, and the titles are mysteriously fitting.)

Enjoy~!

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. Chapter title belongs to Story of the Year.

My Own Worst Nightmare

By Kouzumi93

Chapter 4: And The Hero Will Drown

Again.

For the third time in two days, I was having that dream. Same as the times before, I could not see nor hear as much as I wanted to. It seemed that any and every significant detail was being obstructed from my grasp.

But then it was different.

The flash of red was not where it ended that time. Instead, following the red, I felt myself moving again, then suddenly stop. A clump of red and golden yellow passed my blurry vision.

It wasn't making sense.

A moment later, I was jostled out of my already disturbed sleep by something shaking my arm violently. My eyes snapped open and I reflexively took up a defensive stance, prepared for anything that might try to catch me off guard.

"Ah, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you."

When I realized that it was just Hinamori, I relaxed a bit. "No, it's alright."

There was a short pause in the conversation. Then: "Hitsugaya-kun, have you been out here all night?"

"No, I went home."

She looked sceptical. "But for how long?"

"Long enough to decide that I need more time away."

"More time?"

I didn't respond right away, debating if I wanted to say what was on my mind. "...I don't like to be around my parents when I get like this."

"This?"

Hesitation. "Depressed." I internally winced, already knowing how she would react.

As expected, her eyes widened in shock and concern. "You're depressed? Why haven't you said anything?"

"Because it's not a big deal. It's not the kind of depression where I'm thinking of...doing anything stupid. It's just that...I start to relive things that I don't want to, and so I shut myself off from other people until it passes. My parents always misunderstand, and if they think it's getting exceptionally bad, all of that 'treatment' shit starts up again."

Hinamori took a moment to let that sink in. "Have you ever tried explaining it to them?"

"I tried to once, but it didn't go as planned. They thought I might hurt myself, so they had me admitted to the hospital for a week. So now I just leave."

"I'm still not sure I understand why you leave."

"I suppose it's just easier than dealing with my mother. She's become so paranoid and overprotective of me since my sister died, and it's gotten to the point where I feel like I'm being suffocated whenever I'm around her." Hinamori had an almost longing look in her eyes, and I quickly realized my mistake. "Er, I'm sorry about that, Hinamori."

"...So, how long do you think you're going to stay away from home?"

"I don't know. It depends on how long I remain in this state, which usually lasts anywhere between a few hours and a month."

"A month?"

"Yeah, but that's rare, now. It was common for about two years after she died."

"What do you do with all of that time?"

"Nothing, really. I just think."

"About what?"

Just as she asked that, an alarm started to sound. Hinamori looked down at a wrist watch that I had never noticed before that moment. "Ah, school is starting in fifteen minutes!"

"Well, we'd better hurry then, if we don't want to be late. Right?"

"So you're coming?"

"I suppose." I stood up, stretched and tossed my backpack over my shoulder.

"Well, we'd better make a run for it, then."

"Of course."

With Hinamori in the lead, we got to the school in under ten minutes. I went to the bathroom to change my clothes, while Hinamori went to both of our lockers to get our books. She also said she'd go to homeroom and talk to Kyouraku-sensei. He seemed like a nice enough guy, so I hoped that he would let my tardiness slide. At least this once.

I changed as quickly as I could, tossed my wet clothing in my backpack and stole off to class. Arriving only moments before the late bell rang, I jumped into my seat next to Hinamori and the day proceeded as normal. Or, as normal as it could be without Matsumoto around. It seemed that she was sick. I found it rather amusing that she was the sick one when _I_ was the one who spent the entire night out in the rain.

In gym class, it was football again, only this time, Zaraki-sensei was the one choosing our teams. Being the kind of guy he was, he divided us up into 'good' players and 'bad' players, and we seriously considered that he might have us play like that.

Finally, after he appeared to have made up his mind, he divided us up again, this time into what he felt were teams of equal strength. But they really weren't all that equal.

Most of the guys on my team I'd never talked to before, so I learned their names, and then Kurosaki Ichigo (The self-proclaimed leader) gave us a plan. Get the ball, keep it, and score. I wondered if he knew how juvenile that sounded.

But everyone went along with it anyway.

Kurosaki was quick to get the ball, and as soon as he was blocked by a kid named Ishida Uryuu, he passed to the light blue haired guy on our team, Grimmjow Jaegerjaques.

The moment the ball was within Grimmjow's range, the other team's Ulquiorra Cifer took his chance to intervene. Grimmjow got pissed (but the anger was more directed at the other kid, rather than at the ball getting taken), so while those two had a little spat, Madarame Ikkaku stole the ball away. Abarai Renji took this moment to jump in. He ran along side the bald student, then put a foot out to trip him. Madarame fell, and the ball was up for grabs, and Abarai was likely going to take it.

But Madarame wouldn't let that happen. He reached out and grabbed Abarai's leg, causing him to crash to the ground as well.

And there was my window of opportunity. Kurosaki was still being blocked, Abarai was arguing with Madarame, and Grimmjow was borderline violent. The remaining two members of the team were chatting it up with those of the other team.

I took the ball and was just about to reach their goal when a dark haired kid knocked me down. He didn't look like he was even after the ball.

My head hit the ground hard and pain shook my body. I must've blacked out for a moment because the next thing I knew, I was being carried on someone's back. It only took a tuft of orange hair in my face for me to identify the person.

"Kurosaki..."

Said strawberry perked up a bit. "Oh, you're conscious again?"

"Yeah." I tried to shift, but felt awkward. "Can you put me down?"

"Sure." Kurosaki knelt down, and I slipped off his back. Standing up straight, it took me a moment to realized that the world wasn't supposed to be spinning.

I woke up again on his back again only a few minutes later.

"Who was that kid?" I asked, irritated that I couldn't successfully walk on my own.

"The one that tackled you?"

"Who else would I be asking about?"

"I don't know. But that was Kusaka Soujiro. He transferred in about a year ago, but I don't know much about the kid. Except that he's been sick all week, thus hasn't been here."

"I just want to know why he tackled me like that."

"He did apologize for that, by the way. He said he was going after the ball but your sudden appearance messed him up and he couldn't stop running."

"Damned Urahara-sensei."

"What?"

"Physics. That damned teacher keeps saying that everything is physics, and this Kusaka kid has just helped to prove him right."

"Not a fan of Urahara-sensei, are you?"

"Not particularly, no."

"Ha ha ha, he's usually everyone's favourite teacher." Ichigo then shifted me to his other side.

"Hey, you can put me down if it's too awkward."

"No, you might faint again. Besides, we're almost there."

"Where is there?"

"The nurse's office."

"How'd you get us out of gym to go to the nurse's? Didn't that Rin kid break his arm the other day and Zaraki-sensei wouldn't let him out of class?"

"Yeah, but he asked to leave. I took advantage of Grimmjow and Ulquiorra's fight and snuck out."

"I can imagine we're going to have one hell of a punishment later."

"Yeah, probably." Kurosaki looked up then. "Ah, hey, we're here." He knocked on the door, then slid it open. "Unohana-sensei!"

Just then, a woman with braided dark hair stepped into the room. "Please don't shout in the infirmary, Kurosaki-san."

"O-Of course."

The nurse saw me then. "Ah, who might this be?"

"This is Toushiro. He got tackled during football, and we think he may have hit his head off of a rock." Kurosaki explained as he set me down on one of the beds.

"That would explain the blood."

My sister's face flashed across my vision. "Blood?"

I must have sounded like a little kid, because the nurse reassured me. "Don't worry, there isn't much." There was a worried look in her eyes, and I wondered if she had read my medical file.

"Just don't let me see it." I closed my eyes, considering myself lucky that I couldn't smell it.

If she had read the file, she wasn't letting it show. "Does the sight of blood make you sick?" I felt her hands in my hair as she examined the wound.

"I'll be more than sick."

"Would you faint again?" It was Kurosaki that time.

"No, not that either."

"Panic attack?"

I didn't respond, and Kurosaki took that as a 'yes'. I hissed as Unohana-sensei began to clean the cut with an antiseptic. Then I started to feel lightheaded and everything in my head began to swirl together. I must've let out a sign of distress, as Unohana-sensei immediately withdrew her hand from my injury.

"Are you alright, Hitsugaya-san?"

My head settled down a bit, but there was a throbbing in its wake. "Yeah, I'm fine. But whatever you're using to clean that cut stings."

"It can, yes. Tell me, do you have a headache or feel lightheaded right now?"

"Yeah."

"I see. Then I believe you may have a mild concussion." I felt her wrapping gauze around my head and opened my eyes. "It would be best for you to take it easy for a while."

I nodded, and as soon as she was done wrapping the bandages, I thanked her and stood up, only much faster than I should have. The world began to spin again and I saw the floor coming up fast.

I don't know what transpired while I was out, but I awoke on Kurosaki's back. For the third time in one day. Taking note of the surroundings, I realized that we were no longer in the school, rather out on the main road.

"Wha-?"

Hinamori stepped into my field of vision, and Kurosaki stopped walking. "Hitsugaya-kun, are you alright?"

"No, I'm half left."

Kurosaki began to laugh. "Well, he seems fine enough to be sarcastic."

I ignored his comment. "Where are we going?"

"Your house."

I stiffened. "No." I stated flatly.

"Eh?" Kurosaki sounded confused. "You don't want to go to your house?"

"Long story. And I'm not going, Hinamori."

"Where else are you going to go? You can't just stay in the park!"

"Park?"

"I wasn't planning on it. And I can find somewhere."

"Hey, I'm not sure exactly what's going on, but you can always stay with me, if you need a place. My dad's a doctor." Kurosaki spoke out.

"Thanks but no thanks. I don't really know you too well."

"Of course not. You've only been here for a few days."

"Yeah, but I spoke to you for the first time today."

"Well, then stay with me." Hinamori interjected. "My house has tons of rooms that aren't being used, so you can use one. And it's not like you'll be in the way or anything, either."

I thought about her offer for a moment, then she spoke again.

"Otherwise, we'll drag you to your house kicking and screaming if we have to."

I smirked. "You seem to have quite a way with words, don't you, Hinamori?"

"Can I take that as an agreement to stay with me?"

"Take it however you want."

"Then we're heading to my place, now."

Kurosaki nodded, and we continued on, as there was no need to change course. The rest of the trip, I was fading in and out of consciousness, and it sounded like the other two were having a conversation, but I only caught little bits and pieces here and there. Not enough to identify the core subject.

Finally, I heard Hinamori call out. "We're here!"

I opened my eyes and looked up, surprised at how massive it really was.

Kurosaki was equally astounded. "I never imagined that it was this big up close!"

"Do you want to stick around to get a tour, Kurosaki-kun?"

"No, I probably shouldn't. My dad's out of town, so I have to be home to let my little sisters in when they get home."

"I understand. Then if you could just bring Hitsugaya-kun inside and set him down somewhere, that would be great."

Kurosaki nodded, and as Hinamori stepped up to the door, it opened on its own. A maid appeared after it had opened completely. I assumed that she had been the one to open it from the other side.

"Good afternoon, Hinamori-dono." She greeted while bowing.

"Hello, Megumi-chan." That seemed to be a cue for the maid to cease her bow, and she stood up fully. She glanced at Kurosaki and myself before returning her gaze to Hinamori. Hinamori noticed and explained. "These are my friends from school. The one with the white hair is going to be staying here for a while."

"I understand. Shall I prepare a room?"

"Yes. It doesn't matter which one."

"I understand. Please excuse me." The maid bowed and set off up the double staircase. I looked around the room and was surprised at how spacious it was, for just an entryway. There was seating everywhere and the ceiling was high, allowing for a chandelier to be placed above the stairs. It was well lit, and I didn't notice an echo.

"Kurosaki-kun, if you can bring Hitsugaya-kun into the living room and set him down on the sofa, you can go home." Hinamori started through an archway on the left, and Kurosaki followed like a lost puppy. Entering the room, the first thing I noticed was the bright red carpet.

The living room didn't have a high ceiling like the foyer, but it was still quite a large room. A white grand piano stood in one corner, a stereo was aligned next to it, and there was a flat-screen TV mounted on the wall across from a white sofa. Two other archways led into other rooms.

And, of course, there were paintings on the walls.

Hinamori stepped up to the sofa and fluffed up a few pillows. "Alright, you can set him here."

Kurosaki stepped up to the couch and lowered me onto it. My head felt like it was being flooded again, so I laid back onto the pillows and fell asleep almost instantly. Rather, it was more like 'passed out', but either way, it was a short, dreamless shift from consciousness.

When I awoke again, I found that I was no longer in the living room, but instead a green coloured room. My head screaming in protest, I sat up and took a look around at my surroundings. There were a few small paintings here and there, but they were not as imposing as the other two rooms as I'd been in. A computer desk stood in one corner, a bookcase in another, and a dresser in the third. The fourth contained a table that also was right next to the bed I was in.

Glancing down at a clock on said table, I saw that the time was seven o'clock in the evening. School had let out at three, so counting the time it took to arrive at the mansion, and the time in the foyer, I had probably been asleep for about four and a half hours.

My body still disagreeing, I pulled the blankets away and stood up, placing my hand on the wall for support. Once I had my balance back, I remade the bed and left the room. I had no desire to remain there, since I wasn't quite sure where 'there' was.

Opening the door, I found myself in a wide hallway lined with floor-to-ceiling windows. To the left appeared to be a dead end, so I started right and, at the end of the corridor, turned left down another one.

Stairs.

Two of them leading up, and then, walking forward a bit, I spotted a wide one leading down. Thus causing me to realize where I was.

Gripping the railings on either side, I descended the stairs at a slower pace than usual, just to be sure that I wouldn't accidentally go too fast and pass out on the stairs. That would not have been fun.

Upon reaching the bottom of the stairs, I looked around and saw only a maid cleaning the windows. Silently, I slipped into the living room again, searching for Hinamori. But I didn't see her in there.

I moved on to the next room, finding myself in a formal dining room. A long, dark wood table stood in the centre of the room, and six dark wood chairs with blue cushioning surrounded it.

There still was no sign of Hinamori.

Just as I began to move to the next room, I heard a loud crash in the lobby.

The sound stunned me more than it should have, and I was launched into a short flashback from the day of my sister's death. It was so sudden that I found myself kneeling on the floor, gasping for breath.

Once I got a hold of myself, I backtracked through the dining and living rooms. Upon reaching the foyer, I found a red-haired maid hastily picking up shards of what was once a stone statue. Hinamori was standing on the stairs, about halfway down.

"Mey-Rin, what happened down here?" She didn't quite sound angry; rather she seemed to be worried.

I also realized that she didn't see me right away.

The maid bowed frantically over and over again. "My deepest apologies, Hinamori-dono. I was cleaning the window here, and I accidentally bumped into the table containing the statue."

Hinamori descended the final stairs and sighed. "No, it's alright. Just clean this up and have Izumi-chan and Kanako-san take the other one to be duplicated. Again." She said, referencing the identical statue that stood on another table.

"Yes, right away!" The maid scurried off and Hinamori sighed again.

Finally, she turned around and noticed me in the doorway. "Ah, I didn't even see you there, Hitsugaya-kun. Are you feeling any better?"

"Yeah, pretty much." I lied.

"Well that's good. Are you hungry?"

"A little bit, I suppose."

"Alright, then let's go see what we can find in the kitchen."

Hinamori lead the way back through the two rooms I had passed through a few times already, and we soon came to the kitchen, the third and final room of the house's west wing.

The kitchen was interesting. The floor had black outlined white and tan square stones arranged in a checkerboard pattern. All of the appliances were white, while the counters were a light wood and the cabinets were a darker wood. An island stood in the centre of the room, and the chairs positioned there were also a combination of light and dark woods. The paintings that hung on the walls were all monochrome.

"What do you usually eat for dinner?" Hinamori asked as she opened up the refrigerator door.

"Nothing in particular. Make whatever you want, and I'll eat it."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course."

"Okay, then we're going to have some ramen. Is that alright?"

"It's fine."

"Excellent. It's the only thing I know how to make, so anything else would force me to go hunt down the cook."

"Hunt him down?"

"Yeah. He's a really old guy that's been working for my family for years, and he has this tendency to wander off. Most of the time, I just ask one of the maids to make me something."

"So basically, you're helpless without your maids?" I asked sarcastically.

She smirked. "Not completely. Why, just the other day, I finally learned how to dress myself!"

I laughed. "That wouldn't surprise me."

"Hey!" I laughed again, and she pouted. "But seriously, I'm on my own on Fridays, so I have to take care of myself on those days."

"That one day a week must be tough."

"Keep it up and I'll poison the food."

"You mean to tell me that it wasn't going to be, already?"

"No, that would be Rangiku-san's cooking."

"Touché."

"Anyway, while you're waiting for me to cook the food, why don't you go out to the living room and watch TV or something."

I was already on my way out of the kitchen, but since I hadn't had a plan in mind, I took her suggestion into consideration. Guiding myself back to the living room, I sat down on the sofa, turned on the TV and began to flip through the channels.

I skipped past numerous channels of cartoons and reality shows, and then a news station came on. I was about to change the channel again, but a bubble popped up at the bottom of the screen that read 'Breaking News'. Curious, I waited as the entire message spanned across the screen. As soon as it finished, disbelief washed over me.

The same message crossed three more times, and I read it carefully each time, hoping that I had just read it wrong, or that there was a typing error. But it remained the same, so there was no mistaking it.

Hinamori chose that moment to enter the room, two glass bowls of steaming ramen in her hands.

She instantly took note of my stunned expression. "Hitsugaya-kun? What is it?"

I was too shocked to speak, so I merely raised a hand and pointed at the screen just as the message was being repeated by the news anchor.

'_This afternoon, fifteen year-old Kurosaki Ichigo was found dead in his family's backyard pool. The cause of death has been ruled as a drowning..._'

Two glass bowls crashed to the carpeted floor.

* * *

Yay~ It's finally typed~! I know it took forever, but I kept getting stuck, and laziness has a way of taking over. Boredom, too. (Less than a page to type and what am I doing? Watching Claymore.)

Anyway, I hope this chapter is alright. There's mostly conversation in here, but there's some character development, too. And one thing that can be used as a reference later. But you didn't hear that~.

Review please~!


	6. SAD PARTY

I love graphing calculators. If it weren't for the one I got from my Trig class, I may not have gotten this chapter done so fast. (Fast? -looks at the calendar- Not so much.) Insomnia also had its contributions.

WARNING: This chapter somewhat earns its 'M' rating at the end here. But I'm sure someone will like it. ~_^

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. Chapter title belongs to Kenichi Asai.

My Own Worst Nightmare

By Kouzumi93

Chapter 5: SAD PARTY

The next few days of school held enough tension to make anyone depressed, if they so happened to be on the border of being so. Kurosaki's death was practically the only thing the other students in school would talk about.

Mostly because everyone was questioning that the cause of death had been drowning.

At first, I didn't understand their suspicions, but then Matsumoto explained it to me. Apparently, Kurosaki is-was a good swimmer, thus implying that a death by drowning would be highly unlikely, especially if it had been in just his own backyard pool.

Some of the students were suspecting murder.

Murder.

The word sounded so foreign, like something only found in books and movies and other places in the world. Something that wasn't supposed to exist in our reality. Not here. _It can't be allowed to exist here, right?_

But then again, I should've been much more acquainted with the harsh reality than most of those other kids. Reality had taken so much from me already, deaths and injuries should've no longer surprised me.

On Friday, it was announced that a funeral for Kurosaki would be held the following Monday, and students would be permitted to attend. Hinamori and Matsumoto both expressed their desire to go, and I admitted that I also wished to be there. I may not have known Kurosaki very well, but he had helped me out, and I wasn't just going to forget it that easily.

Before we knew it, the weekend was upon us, and we all held onto a hope that the atmosphere could lighten itself up, if only a little bit.

Hinamori and I spent most of Saturday talking in her Study while writing essays for our Law class, even though they weren't due for a while yet. Our conversation was mostly light-hearted, mindless chatter until Hinamori guided the conversation to much darker territory than I wanted.

"Hitsugaya-kun?"

"What is it?"

"I was thinking last night, and I realized that you told me all about what happened to your sister, but I haven't yet revealed much of anything about my mother's death."

My pencil stopped moving, and I only turned myself around just enough to see her face. I had no desire to be on such a subject _ever_, but it was even more so with the recent event that everyone was worried about.

"My mother got sick with pneumonia in early December of my thirteenth year. I kept begging to be allowed to stay home with her, but she insisted that she would be fine and that I couldn't miss school over nothing. So to school I went, and then one day, maybe a week or so after she became ill, I was called out of class to find that she had died." Tears shimmered in her eyes, but they didn't fall. "It was a little sudden, yes, but we knew that the possibility had been there, so it wasn't as if we were completely unprepared."

It was silent for a long while after that. Hinamori was staring down at her report, and I looked away after a moment or two. I tried to resume writing my paper, but my mind kept wandering off. The clock read four-thirty, but it suddenly felt much later to me. I set my pencil down on top of my notebook and stood up.

"I'm going to lie down for a while, alright?"

"Are you alright?" Hinamori looked concerned. Almost guilty, like she felt it was her fault.

"Yeah, it's just a little headache." It wasn't a total lie. I did have a headache, but it wasn't as small as I made it out to be.

"Do you want some aspirin?" She stood then as well.

"No. A little rest and I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

I left the study and climbed the stairs, quickly finding my way to my temporary room. I shut the door tightly once I entered, then dropped myself to the bed, blankly staring up at the ceiling.

I must've stayed like that for an hour, not that I really took much notice to the time, anyway.

I tried as hard as I could to fall asleep, but every time I closed my eyes, I was greeted by the gruesome sight of my sister's mangled face after she shot herself. I shuddered the first few times, close to puking at least once, but I slowly became accustomed to the feelings of pain and helplessness that came, and I stopped feeling everything.

I had always found that life wasn't so bad if there were no emotions to guide my actions.

There was a sudden knock at my door. Without even closing my eyes, my sister overtook my vision. I blinked it back and jumped out of the bed as the knocking on the door came again.

Still slightly startled and my head throbbing from my sudden movement, I approached the door and tugged it open, but only after the person knocked one more time.

Hinamori stood on the other side, looking rather concerned.

"What?"

"Well, you came up here two hours ago, and I hadn't heard from you after that."

I looked at the clock then, confirming that it had indeed been two hours since I found out about her mother and lost some more of my sanity, if it ever existed in the first place. "Yeah, my headache got worse."

"Does it still hurt?"

"Just a little bit." I lied again.

"Do you want that aspirin now?"

"No. I'm not a fan of medicine."

She looked puzzled for a moment, then came to a realization. "Of course. Your mother said you were on medication for a time."

I cringed at the reminder.

I was hoping that Hinamori wouldn't take notice to my reaction, but she did and quickly apologized. "Ah, I'm sorry for bringing that up."

"No, don't worry about it."

She apologized a few more times, then left me to my own devices. I went back into the green room to attempt to sleep a bit more. Not that I can say that I slept much earlier.

Eventually, sleep continued to fail me, and I gave up on it. I tried to work on a bit more of my homework, but I couldn't concentrate on it. Staring down at my math book, my mind kept drawing a blank. I couldn't remember anything about the lesson, and reading over the material didn't help me either. I soon gave up on that as well, resolving instead to return myself to the first floor.

Hinamori was still in the study, probably finishing up that paper from earlier. I stood in the doorway for a while before she finally noticed I was there.

"Hey, how's your headache?"

"It's died down, for the most part." For once, my reply was not a complete lie.

"That's good. Anyway, I know it's late, but are you hungry?"

I shook my head. I hadn't been hungry much at all for days, but it was actually somewhat normal for my state of mind.

She almost looked disappointed, then brightened up as if banishing negative thoughts from crossing her mind. "Well, if you get hungry in the middle of the night or something, just come down and find something."

I said I would, but had no intentions of actually doing it. There was no way I was going to wander around her house in the middle of the night. I wondered if she knew that but offered anyway.

I gathered everything I'd left in the study, said goodnight, then went back upstairs to my room. I put all of my books and school things together in my backpack and went to the bed to see if I could find some mythical item called 'sleep'.

I did end up finding it, but it was short lived, as a certain dream interrupted it a number of times. After each disruption, I woke up disoriented, but somehow managed to fall back into the deep well of sleep within minutes.

The dream, no, perhaps it should be called a nightmare, had become rather persistent. I couldn't even take a five minute nap without being disturbed, and I was starting to lose sleep over it. Isn't there a theory that recurrent dreams have some sort of meaning behind them?

I didn't brood on that thought for long. There was no use worrying about something I didn't, and still don't, understand.

Along with that pesky nightmare, my sister stalked my vulnerable form more than usual. If I wasn't sleeping, I was forced to watch Natsume-neechan die all over again every time I blinked.

I woke the next morning feeling as if I had stayed awake the entire night. I looked it too, so I took a cold shower and tried to make myself at least _look_ like I was feeling fine.

I must have succeeded, too, because Hinamori never said anything about it.

That Sunday passed quickly and mostly painless, and before we knew it, it was Monday.

_Too soon_, I thought, looking at the defeated expressions of the other students. They were permitted to forget the recent tragedy for the weekend but now that school had resumed, they were forced to face the truth once more. Truth be told, it would probably remain that way for a while.

Death is not easily adjusted to, and I knew that from experience.

Kurosaki's funeral was to be held at eleven, so until that time came, we had to sit through our classes. It was obvious to most of the teachers that no one was actually paying attention to the lessons they presented, so some didn't bother to teach anything at all. Why waste the time teaching something that they were probably going to have to repeat the next day, anyway?

It seemed to take forever just for the first three classes to pass, but finally at ten thirty, it was announced that students could leave for the funeral.

Even as glad as I was to be getting out of my Physics class, I couldn't be more displeased with the circumstances behind my absence. No one should be pleased about going to a funeral. Any such persons should get themselves checked into a mental hospital, because there is something wrong with them.

Matsumoto somehow managed to find Hinamori and myself among the large mobile mass of students. I was unaccustomed to seeing such a depressed look on her face, but it was only to be expected. Together, the three of us walked in mutual silence to the funeral parlour, which was on the other side of town.

The sight of it sent chills down my spine.

It was an old Victorian-style home, and it had some dark features that were very similar to those of the school building. Black curtains hung in each window, and the roof and exterior walls were also of a deep black colour. Stone steps led up to the unused wrap-around porch.

We made our way up the steep stairs and when we reached the top, I felt something warm and soft coil itself between the fingers of my left hand. Startled, I started to pull my hand away, but then I realized that Hinamori was looking up at me with those hopeful eyes of hers. I relaxed and gently squeezed her hand back, trying to give her as reassuring a smile as I could.

Entering the funeral home, the colours lightened up a bit to become more welcoming. The walls were an off-white, lined with dark wood wainscoting and crown moulding, designed to match the wood on the floors. The furniture was appropriately coloured, designed and positioned throughout the building.

Hinamori, Matsumoto and I took seats toward the middle section, and not long after everyone was as settled as they could be, the ceremony began. It wasn't a short ceremony, but it was certainly not the longest one I'd ever been to.

Then again, I'd been to quite a few funerals in my short fifteen years of life.

Among the speakers for the service were Kurosaki's father, a few teachers from all three school levels, and a number of his friends, most notably his girlfriend, Kuchiki Rukia. One of Kurosaki's younger sisters also spoke, but she broke down and burst into tears halfway through and had to be guided back to her seat by the other sister.

Finally, it was over, and as we were leaving the parlour, I made a mental note that the sky was much too bright for a depressing event such as a funeral. I determined that it should have been raining or at least heavily overcast. Just a miserable atmosphere would have been fine. Not because it resembled Kurosaki at all, since it was far from similar to him, but because there would be so many people crying and mourning for him.

Or rather, they were celebrating his life and mourning that it had to end so soon.

We began on to the gravesite from there, and I held Hinamori closer and tighter. She was crying much harder than before, and I was afraid that she might've broken if I hadn't been there to hold her together. Matsumoto looked like she was lost to the rest of the world. I wasn't sure if she was even aware of walking to the graveyard, or if she merely followed along subconsciously.

I figured I would never know, so we continued on.

When we arrived at the graveyard, it was even more crowded than the funeral parlour had been. Somehow, we managed to get a clear view of the coffin and the hole in the ground, and while the minister gave another ceremony, I couldn't take my eyes off the pit.

There was a finality in burial, something that made all doubts of the death disappear. The burial plot was a symbol of the end.

Watching Kurosaki's body inside the coffin being lowered into the ground was too much for Hinamori to handle, and she turned away from it to bury her face in my shoulder and cried harder.

What could I do?

I felt just as helpless as her; I needed just as much help and comforting as she did, and yet I'd somehow become the one thing I couldn't have.

I'd become her comfort. Her pillar on which she could stand.

After the coffin was completely in the hole, the burial service was called to an end, and we slowly began the gruelling trip back to the school. With Hinamori and Matsumoto as emotional as they were, school was the last place any of us wanted to be, but we probably would have found ourselves in quite a bit of trouble, had we not returned.

Upon our arrival, we found that our lunch period was almost over, not that any of us had much of an appetite in the first place. We sat down at a table and not one of us spared even a fleeting glance at the lunch line.

None of us said a word for the entire time we were in the cafeteria.

We couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't accidentally set off another of us. So there we sat in silence, and that day still holds the record of being the most quiet lunch period since I arrived.

In school, some of the students who were unable to attend Kurosaki's funeral service pestered those who had gone. I wasn't bothered too much, but they wouldn't leave Hinamori alone. I chased off as many of them as I could, but it was as if their numbers would never dwindle.

Then, at three, school was over for the day, and Hinamori and I made our way up to her mansion. Matsumoto very nearly came with us, but changed her mind and declared that it would be better if she just went straight home. We bade her farewell and as she turned onto her street, Hinamori and I continued along.

Upon our arrival at Hinamori's house, we parted ways; her to her room and me to mine. The maids scurried about as usual, but they seemed to be working with the mute button on, as I hardly heard a peep out of them, which was a much appreciated change of face.

I didn't have too much homework, what with the teachers hardly teaching anything, but I did as much of it as I could without losing myself to distractions. Sometime around five, I gave up and went over to Hinamori's room. I'm sure I did initially have a reason for doing so, but it was lost the moment I saw her curled up in a ball, sleeping on her bed. She was clutching a stuffed bear to her chest, and the remains of tears in her eyes hinted that she had cried herself to sleep.

I don't know what possessed me at that time, but I entered the room, closed the door and approached her bed. She didn't stir, and I took that to imply that she was in a deep sleep. It was also a good indicator that she was not having any nightmares, much unlike myself when I slept.

I only intended to watch over her for a moment and then leave, but the next thing I knew, I was sitting on the edge of her bed, gently stroking her hair. I was amazed at how soft it was, and I found that I couldn't stop myself.

I stopped thinking about how wrong it was that she was sleeping and I was in her room with the door closed. I stopped thinking about how close in proximity our faces were becoming. I soon stopped thinking at all.

All that mattered was that moment, and how I wanted it to last forever...

As my lips brushed against hers, Hinamori's eyelids fluttered open. I quickly drew back and felt my body stiffen. My face felt hot, and I was sure that it was a red even brighter than a cherry.

A wave of panic washed over me, and I dashed from the room before she could say anything. I was afraid of the various ways the situation could pan out, so I went back to my room and shut the door tightly. I wished that I could just lock all of my problems on the other side of the door.

But that would've been too easy. Fate would never allow that.

While I believed that Hinamori wouldn't want to see or talk to me for a while, I was quickly proven wrong. She was at my door in less than five minutes, and I knew I had to let her in. It was still her house, so I couldn't deny her access to any part of it, even if said place was temporarily mine.

I was still blushing madly as I opened the door. I noted that Hinamori also seemed to have a tinted colour to her face.

I spoke first. "Hinamori, I'm sorry about that. I don't know what came over me, but I swear that it'll never happen again."

"Never again? That wouldn't be very nice, Hitsugaya-kun." She took advantage of my surprise and slipped into the room.

"What are you doing?" I asked her as she shut the door and locked it.

She looked at me with an expression I'd never seen before, then wrapped her arms around my neck and leaned in for a kiss. This one, unlike the previous two, lasted long and was filled with a lustful passion that the other two lacked.

And that's when I lost control over my actions.

My hands dropped from her shoulders to her waist, and I slowly began to lift up her shirt.

She withdrew from the kiss. "Hitsugaya-kun..."

"Shh..." I silenced her with another kiss, then lifted her off the floor and set her down on the bed. As I showered her with kisses, I removed each article of clothing she wore as if it were a precious jewel. When she was down to only her underwear, she pulled away again.

"Hitsugaya-kun, I don't think we should be doing this."

I don't know what I said to her, but she relaxed as I unclipped her bra and slid off her panties. I then removed my own clothes, and we lay naked side by side on the bed.

"I-I've never done this before, Hitsugaya-kun." Hinamori admitted as I rose above her.

I gave her a rare, genuine smile. "Don't worry; neither have I."

She laughed, and with the mood lightened, we began.

It started out slowly, both of us unsure of exactly we were doing, but our passion and instincts took hold soon enough, making every move we made that much more enjoyable.

We fell asleep there in my bed. Her arms were wrapped around my back, her naked breasts pressed tightly to my own chest. Her face was buried in my neck, and I couldn't help but to fall asleep with a smile on my face. It was an expression I held into the morning when I woke to find that she had not up and left in the night.

Or even worse, that it had all just been some sort of dream.

I stroked her hair, musing that it was that small action which had brought about the eventful night. Hinamori began to stir, and I saw that there was a small smile on her lips as well.

"Good morning, stranger." I joked as she opened her eyes.

Her smile became more defined. "A good morning indeed."

"Actually, I think it was a much better night."

"Touché." She kissed me and we sat up in the bed. "What time is it?"

I glanced down at the clock. "Just a bit after seven."

Hinamori yawned and stretched. "I guess we'd better get ready for school, then."

"I wish we didn't have to go."

"Why's that?"

"Because nothing could top a day of spending time with you."

"You dummy, our schedules are the same. We're always together."

"Alright, allow me to rephrase that: Nothing is better than a day of _alone_ time with you."

She laughed again, then stood up. "Pervert." She planted one last kiss on my lips before gathering her clothing and dressing. "I'll see you downstairs." Then she was gone. Not too long afterward, I pulled myself up, took a shower and readied myself for the day.

_This is going to be one hell of a great day._ I thought with another smile.

I didn't realize just how wrong I was.

* * *

Ooh, so I just _had_ to end it on a bad note, didn't I? Oh well, the random ending scene was the result of reading a bunch of V.C. Andrews books while I was at work and stuck on some part of this, so at least there is one good thing in here.

Not sure how well written said scene is, but I tried to make it seem alright. -Ifeellikesuchapervert- XD Sorry.

Erm, please review~! The next chapter is done if I decide to split it in half, and almost done if I don't. It's pretty long, so I'm not sure if I want to leave it as just one chapter. Depends on how long the second half comes out to be.


	7. Soundscape To Ardour

After realizing just how long this was going to be, I did go with my decision to make this into two chapters. This still is going to be pretty long, but I'm not sure that's a bad thing. The next one is probably going to be pretty damn long, too.

Enjoy~!

By the way, I'm sorry I'm a little obsessed with similes and metaphors and such.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. Chapter title belongs to Sagisu Shirou.

My Own Worst Nightmare

By Kouzumi93

Chapter 6: Soundscape To Ardour

If any of Hinamori's maids noticed anything about the night before, they didn't say it in front of either of us. Hinamori and I were pleased with this, and after our uneventful morning was over, we left for school.

Matsumoto met up with us at the intersection of her street and the main road. Hinamori and I didn't think we were acting any different than usual, but one look at our faces and Matsumoto smirked.

"You both seem rather joyous today, huh?" She asked. "What happened between the two of you in just one night?"

"N-nothing." Hinamori replied all too quickly.

Matsumoto's grin widened. "Why don't I believe you?"

"Because Hinamori's a bad liar." I coughed under my breath, and an elbow collided with my ribs.

"So what did you do? Kiss or something?"

My face, as well as Hinamori's, lit up like lights on a Christmas tree. Any attempts to deny it would be useless.

"Ooh, so you did!" Matsumoto sounded as ecstatic as a child who'd just gotten an amazing birthday present. "What else did you do?"

"What do you mean 'what else'?" I demanded, pretending to be ignorant.

"Did you have sex?"

Hinamori's face brightened even more, and I had to look away. The small smirks that made their way onto our faces and no protests of denial gave Matsumoto just the answer she desired to hear from us.

She squealed. "Awh, you two have only lived together for a week, and you've already had sex!"

Instantly, both Hinamori and I reached up a hand and clamped it sharply over Matsumoto's mouth in an effort to silence her.

"Shut up already, will you?" I hissed. "This isn't exactly something we want the entire school to know about. _Ever_."

Matsumoto pushed our hands away. "But you know, there have been rumours going around about the two of you since you began living together."

"You're probably the one that started those. But we don't feel like confirming them."

"Maybe I did say something small to someone. Besides, there's nothing to worry about. Because," Matsumoto added quickly. "You two just look so damn cute together!"

We had reached the school by then, and her loudly proclaimed statement drew much attention to the three of us. Hinamori's face and my own grew shades darker, if that was even possible by that point. Matsumoto's laughter increased at this, and Hinamori and I forcefully parted ways with her.

There was no way we were going to allow her to embarrass us further.

Up until that day, school seemed to drag on, almost never-ending, HHhsfgsgbut that day felt as if every class was absurdly short. Almost like they were nonexistent. Until fifth period, that is.

Fifth period was usually Art, but it seemed as if Ise-sensei was sick, so we had a substitute. His name was Starrk-sensei, and it appeared that he really didn't want to be there just as much as the rest of us.

He told us just as much when he introduced himself.

"Good morning. I'm your teacher for the time being, but, seeing as I know next to nothing about art and she probably left something I can't teach, I'm going to give you something I _can_ teach." With that, he stepped out into the hall and came back in pushing a cart of books.

Most of the other kids in the room groaned.

"As you all should know, I teach the Driver's Education class here. These are books from my class, and the lot of you are going to be reading them. I'll be giving you a quiz at the end of class to make sure you read, so as long as you read all of chapter one and two, you'll be fine."

The groaning continued.

"Stop that or I'll make you read the whole book." He passed the books back through the rows, and I noticed a large number of the students looked like they were wishing death on the things they'd just been given.

When I received mine, I stared at it for over a minute, but for a different reason than the others. I had been avoiding taking a Driver's Education class since entering high school, but I'd all of a sudden been tossed in one.

_It's only for forty-five minutes._ I told myself. _I'll be alright._

I wished that I hadn't said that. There's this guy named Murphy(1) who works alongside Fate to make everything in life go wrong.

I started to read, but I got bored quickly and began paging through the book to look at the pictures and read their captions. I suddenly stopped at a picture that looked frightfully familiar to me.

It was of a severe car accident, and the picture appeared to have been taken almost immediately after the accident occurred, as the people in the accident still remained in their cars.

And they were covered in blood, the two girls in the one car.

I stood up from my seat, my eyes locked on the image.

"Hey, what are you doing? Sit back down." I heard someone say. I don't know if it was a student or the teacher, but I didn't stick around to find out.

Leaving my things as they were, I turned and bolted from the room, not once looking back. I didn't care if I got in trouble for walking out like that. I didn't care what the other students thought, either. The only thing that mattered was making it to the restroom before I puked on the floor.

I felt numb. I couldn't breath. Everything around me began to look warped, and then slowly started to spin. I considered myself lucky to have made it to my destination. I staggered into a stall and crashed to my knees in front of the toilet, puking up whatever it had been that I ate for breakfast.

_Damn it._

_Damn it._

_Damn it._

I couldn't get a grip on myself. The flood of painful memories wouldn't stop. They'd broken through the dam I'd been building, and the damage was irreparable. I could feel myself slowly shutting down.

_Why? Why the hell was that picture in there? Of all the pictures there are of car accidents, why did it have to be of __that__ particular one?_

I sat back, my breathing ragged.

My sister killed herself because she was in an accident that crippled her. The picture that I found on while browsing the book was of that accident. The one that was the start of everything.

I couldn't take it. The pain in my head was unbearable. The flashbacks I'd been suffering had just started to recede, but this was making them return full blast. It was like a leaky faucet; the images were always going to be there until it was fixed, but a little too much pressure could open the valve completely. When that happened, all I could see and experience were the memories I didn't want to remember.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and buried my face in them. I didn't care if anyone found me like that. In the town where my sister died, I'd had a much worse break down, and I hadn't gone back to school for nearly a month. Not long after that, we moved away, and that began our constant moving around.

And I was doing it again. I figured my parents were going to be called, and we would probably end up moving again. Then I would never again return to this town.

"U-um, Hitsugaya-san, are you in here?" Asked a voice I didn't recognize.

I lifted my head. "What is it?"

"Hinamori-san asked me to check on you and see if you were alright."

I closed my eyes and rested my head on my knees again. "Tell her I'm fine."

The boy was standing just outside the stall then. "I really don't like to lie."

"Who are you?"

"I'm Yamada Hanataro."

I stood up shakily. I knew I probably looked terrible, but my appearance was of little concern. "Yamada, just tell her that I'll be alright." I watched the movements of his shadow, and could tell that he was hesitating. I sighed. "Look, you aren't going to be lying, so tell her I'm fine so she'll stop worrying."

He hesitated only a moment longer. "Ah...alright." Yamada left and I was once again alone in the bathroom.

After flushing the toilet, I unlocked the stall door that I didn't remember locking and stepped out. Turning on the sink, I washed my hands and splashed my face with the cool water. Unfortunately, what should have felt refreshing was more like a bee sting or a slap to the face. I took a drink of the water then and felt it settle uneasily in my stomach.

Leaving my face to air dry, I stood with my back against the wall for the rest of the period. When the bell rang, I pushed open the door and found Hinamori already waiting outside for me.

She looked up abruptly. "Are you alright? I saw what was in that book."

"Forget it." I replied, turning around and heading for the Art room.

"Forget it? Hey, where are you going?"

"To get my stuff."

"I have it right here."

I paused in the middle of the congested hallway.

"When you stormed off, I looked over, saw the picture in the book and knew you wouldn't be coming back. Starrk-sensei understood after I explained it to him."

I turned around to see her holding out my books and backpack to me. I hesitantly reached out to take them, and soon enough, we were back on our way to the next class. Halfway there, I spoke once more. "Hinamori?"

"Hmm?"

"...Thank you." I meant it for more than just bringing my books to me, but I couldn't make myself voice this.

"You're welcome." I could hear the smile in her voice, which put the tiniest of smiles on my own face.

We arrived in our History class only a moment before the bell rang. Ukitake-sensei was sick again, but Shiba-sensei was present and perfectly healthy. He began the class by telling us that Ukitake-sensei would be back as soon as his health was better. Then he took role and began the day's lesson.

I was in that room physically, but far from it mentally. My mind was much too preoccupied with my own personal history to give a damn about some war started over a land dispute.

Everything I'd been through with my sister was making itself known to me. Toys she wouldn't let me have, stories she told me, secrets we shared, so many things I hadn't thought about in years. The happier times of our lives where we thought nothing bad could ever possibly happen to us.

Then one tragedy led to another, and I'd become a mess.

"Hey, wake up!" Someone exclaimed as the leg of my desk was kicked.

Startled, I nearly jumped out of my seat. It took me a moment to realize that I was still in school, and when I did, I breathed a sigh of relief, then stole a glance at Hinamori. I decided that I really didn't like it when she looked so worried.

She really did look much better with a smile on her near perfect face.

When that class finally came to a close, it was time for lunch. I trailed along behind Hinamori until we reached the lunch room, then broke away and wandered off to find a table to sit at. I wasn't hungry after the morning I'd had, so after I sat down, I crossed my arms on the table and rested my head on them.

I must have fallen asleep again, for when I lifted my head, Hinamori and Matsumoto were sitting at the table talking to each other in whispers.

"So you _are_ alive, Toushiro." Matsumoto retorted the instant she noticed me move.

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Aww, don't be such a sour puss. I was joking."

"Yeah, but I wasn't." I said, dropping my head back into the comfort of my arms.

"Are you hungry at all, Hitsugaya-kun?"

"No way. If I eat anything, I'm sure to puke again."

"Maybe you should go to the nurse and see if she'll send you home." Matsumoto offered.

I shook my head. "No. She'll probably call my parents to pick me up, and I can't face them like this."

"This?"

I closed my eyes rather than answering. Every time someone asked me that, I would ignore it. If I couldn't find and answer to satisfy myself, how was I supposed to please the asker? Most people gave up when I wouldn't respond, and I figured that Matsumoto and Hinamori would be the same.

But I forgot how stubborn and persistent Matsumoto could be.

"Do you mean to imply that you're depressed?"

"I'm not depressed, dammit. I've told you that before."

"If you're not depressed, what is it?" She pressed.

"...I don't know."

"How can you not know? It's you're body, isn't it?"

"If I said I don't know, then I don't know!" I shouted, standing up from the table.

"And I still don't see how you can't!" She began to yell as well, and several heads turned to watch.

Irritated by the crowd of onlookers, I lowered my voice. "Look, it's just that I can't explain it."

"Why not?" She still insisted.

I hesitated a moment. "I guess I just don't know how to." Before she could say anything or question me further, I grabbed my backpack from the table. "I'm going to class." I started off for the cafeteria exit.

"Wait! Hitsugaya-kun!" Hinamori called after me, but I didn't stop or turn around. I faintly heard her reprimand Matsumoto, but I was too far away to hear exactly what she said.

I kept walking on until I found myself standing outside Tousen-sensei's classroom. I supposed it was because that was where I would have been going if I had stayed in the cafeteria until the bell rang. I turned and began to walk away, but the door suddenly opened up behind me. Tousen-sensei stood in the doorway gazing in my direction as if he had been expecting me.

I, on the other hand, had not anticipated his sudden arrival. Even if it was his classroom. "Tousen-sensei."

"Hitsugaya-san, I believe your class does not begin for another ten minutes."

"Yeah, I know. I was wandering around and running off some steam. I'm a little...annoyed right now, I guess." I looked down at my sneakers.

"Annoyed at what?" I was silent, not wanting to get angry and argue with him. After another moment, he spoke again. "Why don't you come in, Hitsugaya-san."

"Eh?"

"You seem to be a bit troubled. Perhaps you need someone to talk to. If you would prefer to be referred to the Guidance Counsellor, Shihouin Yoruichi, I can do that for you, too."

I weighed my options. I was familiar with Tousen-sensei, but I'd never met Shihouin-sensei. It might've been easier to explain everything to her, as it was likely that she had read my file, and would understand everything better. On the other hand, I wanted a fresh pair of eyes on my situation, which is probably what compelled me to follow Tousen-sensei into his classroom.

"So, what exactly is it that you are annoyed with, Hitsugaya-san?" He asked once I'd taken a seat.

It took me a time to answer. "Myself, I suppose."

"Yourself? Why would that be?"

"Because I'm so dam –darn weak."

"Why do you feel you are weak?"

"..." _He's not a therapist._ I told myself. _He's merely a concerned teacher._ "...I'm weak because the only way I can handle stressful events is to shut myself down completely."

"What do you mean by 'shut yourself down'?"

"I-I start to think about things I shouldn't and don't want to, and I lose control over myself." I hesitated. "I can't focus, I can't think, and, occasionally, I can't move. It's as if I'm completely frozen."

"Frozen by what?"

"Fear, I would assume."

"What are you afraid of?"

"Of something happening like before. If it happened again, I'd probably lose my mind."

"Again? What happened?"

And that's where I felt myself freeze up again. Words were lost to me, and I jumped slightly when the bell sounded. I barely noticed when Tousen-sensei stood up to greet the incoming wave of students.

My class.

Hinamori was one of the first ones in the room. Her face was red, and I assumed she had run the whole way from the cafeteria. She greeted Tousen-sensei, and rushed over to her seat next to me. She carefully set her books on the floor, then turned to face me. Rather than looking back at her, I put my head down on my desk.

"Hitsugaya-kun?" She sounded surprised. When I didn't move or respond, she poked my shoulder. "Hey, are you alright? Rangiku-san apologized for pestering you. She said she didn't realize just how bad a state you are in."

I thought she was going to continue to bother me, but the moment the late bell rang, she withdrew, dejected, and left me alone for the rest of the class. I was and wasn't slightly disturbed by this change of events.

After what seemed like an eternity, Law was finally over, but I didn't go to the gym. Instead, I found my way to the nurse's office. I wasn't going to ask to go home like Matsumoto had suggested, but I certainly wasn't going to go to my gym class in the state I was. If Kurosaki had to sneak me out of class for a concussion and Rin couldn't leave for a broken arm, there was no way Zaraki-sensei was going to let me sit on the sidelines and sleep.

Even if I had a damn good reason to do so.

I knocked on Unohana-sensei's door and waited patiently outside it. I wasn't going to be like Kurosaki and just barge in loudly.

The door opened and Unohana-sensei stood there. "Ah, you're from the other day, yes? Hitsugaya-san, was it?"

"Yeah."

"Well, is there something I can help you with?"

"U-um, may I lay down for a while? I'm not feeling too well."

"Of course. You may use the room at the back in the back."

"Thank you, Unohana-sensei." I gave her a slight bow and passed her as I entered the tiny room. I shut the door, decided not to lock it, then set my bag on the floor and lay down on the firm bed.

Before I expected it, I had fallen asleep and was having a certain nightmare once again. I tossed and turned, kicked the covers away and off the bed, and probably nearly fell off myself.

A rapping on the door pulled me back into reality. I jolted upward in the bed and waited for my eyes to adjust to the darkness of the room. The knocking continued, this time a little bit louder than before.

"What is it?" I called out.

"Hitsugaya-san, the bell will be ringing soon. Are you feeling any better?"

I stood up, silently yawned and stretched my stiff limbs. Thinking about it, I felt even worse than before. "No, not really." I picked up my backpack from the floor and opened the door. Unohana-sensei was waiting just outside for me.

"If you're not feeling any better by tomorrow, perhaps it would be in your best interest to stay home." She suggested.

I nodded. I didn't have any intentions of showing up for school the next day, anyway.

Not after the day I'd just had.

Soon after that, the final bell rang. I thanked Unohana-sensei once more and left her office, meeting Hinamori and Matsumoto outside the school. I lowered my eyes to the ground as soon as I found them, not sure of how Matsumoto was going to act. Hinamori said she had apologized, but I wasn't sure if that was really going to change anything.

But it did, surprisingly.

"You feeling any better, Toushiro?" She asked cautiously. It seemed that she, too, was unsure of how our conversation would go.

"Not really, but because it's me, I'll be fine."

"Really? Well that's good." Then she thought about it for a moment longer. "But, what is your definition of the word 'fine'?"

"Ah, so you have begun to catch on to my ways, have you?"

"Yes, it would seem so. But you will be alright, won't you?"

"...Eventually, I will be."

Matsumoto smacked me on the head. "That's not exactly helping you right now."

"Ha! I don't know anything that _can_ help me right now." I glanced at Hinamori and amended my statement. "Except Hinamori, that is."

She began to blush madly. "How can _I_ possibly help you?"

I smirked. "You already have been."

Matsumoto began to laugh. "I'd better leave you two alone. Another minute and I may start to get jealous of you, Hinamori-chan." She laughed even more and started to run off. "I'll see you two in the morning!"

_No you won't._

"R-Rangiku-san!" Hinamori shouted after her, but Matsumoto turned a few corners and was quickly out of our sight. Hinamori huffed, and I couldn't help laughing myself.

For the rest of the walk to Hinamori's, we both avoided each other's gaze. After entering the house, I went straight up to my room and began to work on my homework. I was thankful that I could actually concentrate on it, and it was done in less than two hours. I put everything back into my book bag, then sat with my back against the wall and stared at the clock.

I don't know what I was waiting for. Maybe I didn't have a reason and was just doing it for the hell of it. Whatever my motive, it put me to sleep nevertheless.

A few more occurrences of my recent nightmare played out in my head, and I awoke at around six. Glancing about in wonder, I suddenly remembered that I was sitting on the floor. I stood up unsteadily, yawned, and stretched, my body stiff from the lack of movement.

I opened my door and ventured out into the hallway. I found that the door to Hinamori's room was closed, but I could see that the light was on inside. I raised my hand to knock, but the phone began to ring in that instant. Footsteps on the other side of the door got louder, and I backed up in anticipation of being hit by the door flying open.

Instead, it remained closed, and the footsteps and the ringing of the phone ceased at about the same time. I came to a realization that Hinamori had a phone next to her door.

I didn't want to make it seem like I was spying on her conversation, so I walked the short distance back to my room. No sooner had I closed the door and made myself comfortable on the bed, someone was at my door. Dragging my self up to it, I tugged open the door to see a rather ecstatic-looking Hinamori standing there.

"What are you so giddy about?"

"My father's friend is going to be stopping over here tomorrow evening."

"And why is that such a good thing?"

"Because Aizen-dono has always been around me more than my own parents. He's like a second father to me."

"You sound like you really admire the guy."

"Of course I do! I've known him for as long as I can remember. He always brings me a gift of some sort when he visits, too."

"I see." I unintentionally yawned.

"Hey, he's not that boring!"

I smirked, a mischievous idea forming in my mind. "Well, he might be if we can't do anything like this around him." I planted a kiss on her lips and watched her face turn a light shade of red.

"He would probably inform my father, who would, in turn, be very angry at me." She looked down at her feet as my arm snaked its way around her waist.

"Then I suppose we should get it all out of our systems now, yes?" I kissed her a few more times and she grinned.

"Only if you promise to not give us away tomorrow."

"I can try, but there's just something that's so damn irresistible about you. I don't know if I can keep my hands off for an entire night."

She laughed and I pulled her into the room, gently closing the door behind us. I silently twisted the lock so as to keep us from being interrupted.

We stripped a little faster, and savoured each other a little longer. I don't know how long it lasted this time, but it wasn't long enough for me, at least. We lay side by side afterward, her head on my chest and my arms wrapped around her protectively. I had been her comfort the day before, but then she had become mine. All she had to do was just be there.

I held her close and kissed her everywhere. A fear had quickly been born in me that the moment I let go of her, she was going to vanish or be taken away. She had so quickly become a part of my life that I could no longer imagine a day without her presence.

Sometime after we ended, Hinamori peeled herself away from my side. I tried to coax her into staying the night again, but she insisted that she couldn't stay. I pretended to be upset, but she only smiled and kissed me goodnight. Once she had left, I stayed up well past midnight thinking about how fast Hinamori and I were moving.

But then I realized that it was already too late to turn back.

* * *

(1) Murphy's Law. Look it up if you don't know what it is.

Chapter seven is not going to be posted for a while. This one was done much ahead of schedule, hence why it's up now. But I have two stories I want to finish this upcoming week. One is for school, the other is a oneshot that I started when I thought the manga was going to go for another long while before Aizen was defeated.

I'll be working on this in-between, but don't expect an update until maybe the end of October. I'm taking a week-long trip to South Carolina and Georgia around the nineteenth, so I'll have a fuck load of free time to do some writing.

Erm, please review?


	8. My Sanity On The Funeral Pyre

Well, this is extremely delayed, isn't it? I kept working on it in bits and pieces, but there were just so many places that I got myself stuck at. And I got distracted while organizing and moderating a game of 'Assassins' in school.

Anyway, enjoy this! (Because you're all going to hate me once this chapter is done.)

Warning – I go a bit overboard here with something at the end of the chapter. It's...probably not for anyone young, I suppose. (Let's just recall my twisted mind, for a moment here.)

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. Chapter title belongs to Atreyu. :D

My Own Worst Nightmare

By Kouzumi93

Chapter 7: My Sanity On The Funeral Pyre

I woke the next morning to something warm on my chest. Startled, I sat up quickly, only to find that it was Hinamori. Her eyes opened then, and she pulled herself back from me. I was slightly amused to see that she was naked once again.

"Aw, did I scare you?" She teased.

"Just a bit. You know, because you left last night. I wasn't exactly expecting to wake up to you again this morning." I looked down at the clock on the side table. It was a quarter to six.

"Oh, so you're saying that it's a bad thing that I'm here?"

I brought my face close to hers. "I never said that." I kissed her lightly. "So why did you come back?"

"Are you displeased that I did?"

"Hardly."

She smirked. "I couldn't sleep."

I raised my eyebrows. "You couldn't sleep, so you came over here in the middle of the night?"

"Yeah, pretty much. If you're so disappointed, I can always just leave." She started to rise, but I slid my hand across her stomach and pulled her back to the bed. I let my hand rest there for a while, allowing the warmth from her to seep in.

It was a few minutes to six.

"How long does it take you to get ready for school?" I inquired.

"About half an hour if I take a shower."

"Good." I rolled over onto her, but a sudden, loud tire squeal made me freeze.

"What was that?" Hinamori asked, sitting up abruptly.

"It sounded like it came from outside."

We threw on our clothing and went into the exercise room down the hall to look out the front windows. Rather, Hinamori looked, but turned away after only a moment.

"You probably shouldn't look." She appeared to be a bit panicked, but was trying to hold it back. For my sake, I assumed.

"Why not? What is it?"

"Someone was hit by a car."

My feet became rooted to the floor, and I could feel my headache creeping back.

"I'm going to go see if there's anything I can do to help. You should just get ready for school."

I slowly nodded, deciding not to tell her that I didn't have any intentions of attending school. After Hinamori had gone, I went back to my room. I wanted to help out, but there was no way I would be able to stomach the sight or smell of blood.

Just as I got back into my room, I could hear shouting outside. I ran to the top of the stairs to see that the front door was wide open. Hinamori came running back in and dashed for the living room. I began to descend the stairs, despite every corner of my being screaming at me to stay put.

Upon reaching the bottom, I could hear Hinamori frantically speaking over the phone. I assumed she had called for an ambulance. I approached the front door and gazed out onto the street. I couldn't see very clearly, as a heavy fog hung in the air, but I could see someone lying on the ground, Hinamori's maids hovering over said person.

There was no car in sight.

I started to take a step forward, but hesitated and stopped myself. Pivoting on my heels, I hastily made my way back up the stairs, pausing in my doorway as I heard sirens in the distance. They drew closer, and I knew that they had to be for what had happened out front. I shook my head and shut the door without a sound.

I dropped onto the bed, folded my arms under the pillows and lowered my head to meet the comfort the pillows could offer me. It wasn't a part of my plan to fall asleep, but the next thing I knew, I was in that nightmare again. I hadn't encountered it for two days, the time in the nurse's office being the exception, so I had begun to wonder if it was slowly going away.

And my mind just had to tell me I was wrong.

I woke with a start and glanced about the room. My eyes caught the time on the clock, and I was surprised to find that it was well after eleven. I sighed, stared at the clock a bit longer, and was just about to lay back down when I noticed a sheet of paper lying on the table in front of the clock. I wondered why I hadn't seen it before, then reached out and picked it up.

It was a letter from Hinamori.

'_You were still asleep when it was time to leave, so I figured that I should just let you sleep. Yesterday was a pretty bad day for you anyway. When you wake up, you can have the maids make you whatever you want to eat for breakfast and lunch. I'll be sure to get all of your homework, and I'll help you with anything later on, should you need me to._

'_Uhm, so I'll see you later, 'kay?'_

I put the paper back down on the table and decided that I should probably get up to start my day off, despite my strong desire to do just the opposite.

I showered and dressed quickly, then went downstairs. The maids greeted me kindly and asked if I wanted anything to eat. I thought it over and finally asked Izumi if she would make some natou. It felt strange to ask someone to make food for me; I could never become accustomed to having servants around.

After I ate, I decided that it felt awkward to be in Hinamori's mansion alone, so I chose to go on a short walk around the town. I'd never really had a chance to do so, and I wasn't sure of how often the opportunity would present itself in the future.

Unsure of exactly where I wanted to go, I left Hinamori's and wandered off in a direction that would not lead me past or near my house. Sure, my father was at work, but my mother was always at home, unless she was out shopping for food or various necessities.

I passed the park, an elementary school, and a few government offices. I nearly got myself lost at one point, but then I saw a street sign with a familiar name embedded on it. Spring Street. I wondered for a moment where I'd seen it, then recalled that it was the name of the side street Matsumoto always turned onto after school.

Out of curiosity and sheer boredom, I proceeded down the alleyway. For the first few blocks, it seemed like a quaint little street, but the further I got from the main street, the wearier and shabbier it became. I decided that I must have missed Matsumoto's house, so I turned and began to walk back in the direction from which I had come.

The condition of the houses was making me feel rather awkward and out of place.

Eventually, I broke out onto the main street again and looked down at my watch. It was just after two. School wouldn't be over for another hour, and I had run out of places to go and things to do. I couldn't wait outside the school for an hour, so I turned and trudged back up the main street.

I arrived at the front door in minutes, and I was greeted by the clumsy maid, Mey-Rin. When I told her that I would be in my room, she reminded me that Hinamori's father's friend would be arriving in a few hours for dinner. I nodded in remembrance, hoping that it wouldn't be a strict, formal occasion. I didn't have anything with me but jeans.

Just in case, I dressed in the same outfit I'd worn to Kurosaki's funeral: black jeans and a black sweater. As I was pulling on a pair of socks, I heard the front door close. I rose from the computer chair and went downstairs to greet Hinamori.

She wore an expression of relief when she saw me. "Did you enjoy playing hooky today?"

"Eh, it could have been much better." I replied. "Maybe school wouldn't have even been this boring."

"I could have woken you up, but with everything that's been going on and Hanataro getting hit by that car this morning, I figured it would be better to let you sleep."

"Hanataro?"

"Yeah. Yamada Hanataro. He's a freshman at our school. Actually, I believe you met him yesterday."

"Yesterday?" I thought a moment of the day earlier, blocking out some parts of the afternoon. "Oh, are you talking about that kid you sent into the bathroom after me?"

"That's the one."

"And that's the kid who got hit this morning?"

She nodded. "Last I heard, he was in critical condition."

"How hard did that car hit him?"

"I don't know. But it was long gone before I got outside, so I don't even know who did it."

"The police will probably find the culprit sooner or later. What was Yamada doing out that early?"

"That, I do not know."

An awkward silence followed, during which Hinamori looked down at her watch.

"Oh, Aizen-dono is going to be here soon! I have to go and get ready, but I'll show you the work from school later on, okay?"

"Yeah, sure."

She grinned and raced up the stairs, nearly dropping a few of her textbooks in the process. I stared after her for a while, then sighed and went into the study. I plucked a random book off of a bookshelf and sat down in a chair to begin reading. I was surprised that the subject of the handwritten book was the past of the Hinamori family.

I was so engrossed in trying to read the faded pages that I didn't know Hinamori had come back downstairs until she was practically standing right over me.

"What are you reading?" She asked.

I looked up, slightly startled. "I don't really know. I found it on that book case over there." I pointed to the place where I had retrieved it from, while closing the book and holding my place with a finger.

"Ah. Those are books belonging to my grandfather, who died when I was a baby. I suppose you could say they belong to my father now, but he doesn't even look at them, so all they do now is sit on that shelf to collect dust."

"That's a shame. It looks like whoever wrote these put a lot of time and effort into them."

"I would imagine. These books cover my family's history from just after this mansion was built to about thirty years ago, when my great grandfather died."

I felt my eye twitch. "So you mean to tell me that those have been here all along, and you haven't said anything?"

" I didn't want to encourage Rangiku-san's gambling."

I stood up, aiming myself straight for the bookshelf. "Maybe this'll teach her a lesson."

Just as I was about to reach for the first volume, I heard the doorbell ring. Before I could blink, Hinamori was out of the room and in the lobby. I stared at where she _had_ been, then heard her squeal in delight.

"Aizen-dono!"

Glancing back and forth between the bookshelf and the doorway, I sighed and let my shoulders slump. I was so close to beating Matsumoto at her own game, and I had to call it quits. I put the volume I held back upon the shelf and went out into the front room to join Hinamori.

"It's been a while, Hinamori-kun. How have you been?" Asked a voice that sounded vaguely familiar to me. When I saw the person who had spoken, I understood why.

It was the man I'd met at the library. I'd remembered his name well enough, but it hadn't clicked when Hinamori told me the name of the man coming over.

"I've been doing well." She noticed me in the room then. "Aizen-dono, this is Hitsugaya Toushiro. Hitsugaya-kun, this is Aizen Sousuke."

"Yeah, we've met." I replied.

"...Eh?"

Aizen smiled as if in remembrance. "Ah, yes. Last week at the library. Did you find what you were looking for?"

"I did, actually."

"That's surprising. The Public Library lacks decent information on that subject."

"Oh, but I didn't find it there. I found it here."

"Here?" He glanced at Hinamori. "But of course. One would certainly find what you were looking for in one of the places it revolves around."

"Yeah, but I didn't really think of that until just a little while ago."

"I see." A contemplative look crossed his features for only an instant, then vanished.

"Aizen-dono, I'm going to go check on dinner. I'll be right back." Hinamori announced awkwardly, then swiftly exited the room.

After she was gone, I wasn't sure of what to do next. I was tempted to start twiddling my thumbs, but then Aizen started a conversation.

"I hope I'm not interrupting a study session."

"No, not at all. Hinamori was getting ready for your arrival, and I was browsing through the books in the Study."

He nodded in understanding, and I glanced at the door through which Hinamori had left. I knew that she had just gone, but I couldn't help wishing that she hadn't.

This man, Aizen Sousuke, was giving off an eerie aura, and I had the strangest feeling that I shouldn't allow myself to trust him.

_But Hinamori trusts him._ I thought. _He can't be too terribly awful._

"Do you know Hinamori-kun from school?"

"Yeah. She was actually with me at the library last week."

"Was she? I must have just missed her, then."

"Pretty much."

"Are you staying for dinner?"

I stared at Aizen for a moment, dumbfounded. Had Hinamori not told him about me? "Of course. I've been staying here for a little while now."

"You are?" Aizen looked and sounded surprised, but there was something I saw in his eyes that told me otherwise.

I merely nodded.

"Are your parents away?"

"Er, yeah. They're returning on Friday." I don't know why I lied, but I told myself that it was all for the sake of keeping my relationship with Hinamori a secret.

"Ah, I see. Hinamori-kun's father travels often, as well. Most of the time, she's here alone, so at least there is somewhere you can go so you are not by yourself."

Before I could respond, Hinamori reappeared in the archway. "Sakura-chan told me that dinner will be ready in about five minutes or so."

"I suppose, then, that we should all go take our seats." He held his arm out for Hinamori.

Cheerfully, she looped her arm through his, and I followed along behind them to the dining room area. We were seated, and sure enough, the food was brought out soon thereafter. I remember that the meal served was from the East, but I don't quite recall what its name was. I know I didn't like it much, although that may be because I hardly tasted it.

Throughout dinner, I found myself watching Aizen. I don't know what it was, but I had a feeling of dread whenever he spoke or smiled. Maybe I realized that everything he did seemed to be prefabricated.

And maybe I knew that there was more to him that met the eye.

At around seven, Aizen made his departure. He said that he had a very important meeting in the morning that he had to prepare for, so we said our goodbyes, and soon he was out of our sight.

I wanted to breathe a sigh of relief.

"So what do you think of Aizen-dono?" Hinamori asked eagerly.

I hesitated. _Should I tell her what I _really_ think, or should I sugar coat it? Which one would hurt her less?_ "He seems fine enough, but there's something about him that concerns me."

"What is it?"

"I don't know how to explain it. It just feels like an instinctive cautiousness."

A long pause followed as Hinamori allowed my words to sink in. The silence was broken by Hinamori's soft, genuine laugh. "Are you sure you're not just jealous?"

"Tch. I've no reason to be jealous of that man."

Hinamori smiled, and yawned a moment later. "I'm sorry. It seems that I'm more tired than I thought. Can we do that schoolwork later?"

"Yeah, it's no problem. Go get some sleep."

The smile returned to her face, and she kissed me before she started up the stairs. Toward the top, she suddenly came to an abrupt halt. She turned back to me. "Hey, are you really going to be leaving on Friday?"

I glanced away. "I don't know. Maybe I should."

"I'm sure that would put your parents at ease."

I remained silent, and a few minutes later, Hinamori resumed her trip to her room. I suddenly felt as if I was being watched, but a quick sweep of the area turned up nothing.

_Something is very wrong here._ I thought as I too went to my room.

The next morning, I woke up after another nightmare, and was partially disappointed to wake up alone in my room. I buried the feeling and got myself dressed and ready for school.

At breakfast, Hinamori asked me again if I was going home.

"Are you that eager to be rid of me?" I asked with a smirk.

She blushed. "T-that's not what I meant!"

"Uh-huh."

"I just want to know in advance so I know how much time I have left to spend with you."

"You make it sound as if one of us is going to die. We'll still see each other in school."

"I know that, but it's not the same, since we have to pretend like there's nothing between us during school hours."

"No one ever said we had to do that. It's just common courtesy to not have sex in the school."

Hinamori's face lit up. "H-H-Hitsugaya-kun!" She stammered.

I could hold it in no longer, so I started laughing. I doubled over, felt my eyes start to water, and my ribs began to ache. I reached up and placed my hand on Hinamori's shoulder for support. "I was only kidding." I stood up straight and kissed her. "You don't have to worry. I'll stop over as often as I can get away."

"I know you will. Anyway, we'd better get going before too long, or else we'll be late."

I nodded, and as we left the dining room, the maids shuffled into the room and cleared away the dishes that had been used.

That day and Thursday passed without incident, and before long, it was Friday morning. I felt almost afraid to return, but I couldn't fathom why. I had been away from home for durations spanning much longer, and not once had I ever developed such a feeling of trepidation.

I carefully slid out of my bed so as to not wake Hinamori, then showered, dressed, and left the mansion before Hinamori even opened one eyelid.

I was going to assess my situation before I dove in headfirst.

I took a route that would lead me right past my house. I knew that both of my parents would be home at the time, but I didn't have any intention to allow them to see me. I stood across the street and gazed past the curtain-drawn windows. I could see them in the kitchen having breakfast, but neither one looked like they had when I had left.

My mother looked well beyond sickly, and I couldn't even begin to describe my father.

Then, as if she could somehow sense my presence, my mother looked out the window and spotted me. Panic welled up in me as she jumped up from the table and threw open the front door. I didn't want to make a scene, so before my panic had fully subsided, I began to walk off.

Of course, my life could never be that easy.

"Toushiro!" My father shouted after me. A moment later, I heard heavy, drunken footsteps behind me. He was chasing after me.

I kicked up my pace to a near run, hoping to encourage my father into giving up. Maybe he would, and then he would turn around and go home, but a sudden rough grip on my wrist told me otherwise.

"Where the hell have you been, boy?" He practically screamed in my ear.

I could smell the alcohol on his breath, and tried uselessly to twist out of his hold. "Let go of me."

"Not until you answer my question."

I glared into his glazed-over eyes. _Dead eyes_, I thought. "Why the fuck should I? _You_ don't even care where I was, anyway."

My wrist began to sting as he tightened his grip on it. My fingers began to go numb. "No, maybe I don't give a damn. But _she_ sure as hell does." He used his free hand to thrust a thumb in my mother's direction.

She watched on as a bystander who encourages a fight.

"So where were you?" My father insisted.

I didn't answer right away. He was clearly drunk out of his mind, so I was hoping for even the tiniest slip-up in his already sloppy composure.

Rage seemed to overpower him due to my silence, and he raised his hand in the air over my head as if to slap me. At the same time, his grip on my wrist loosened enough for me to pull it free. I used that instant to do so, as well as answer his question that still hung in the air like a dark cloud.

"I've been to Hell and back."

For a moment, my father looked stunned, and I quickly turned and broke into a run. I wasn't sure if he would be able to catch me or not, but I wasn't about to stick around and find out.

"Toushiro!" Both my mother and father called out at the same time.

Desperation was evident in their voices.

But I never looked back, and that would come to be my biggest regret since my sister's death.

When I got to school, I found Hinamori in a state of panic. As soon as she saw me walking across the front lawn of the school, she raced up to me and latched her arms around my neck.

"Where did you go?"

"Why, were you worried?"

"Of course I was. I woke up alone in your room, figured you had gone downstairs already, and got myself ready. But when I got down there, the first thing I was told was that you had already left. When I got here and you had not yet arrived, I thought something might have happened to you."

"Er, about that...I took a bit of a detour."

"Detour?" She looked puzzled. "But where would you go at this hour?"

"I-I stopped at my house."

Hinamori's eyes brightened, but the bell rang at that moment, and I managed to avoid any further inquisitions for the rest of the day.

After school, I came across a strange feeling of apprehension. The closer we got to Hinamori's, the stronger it got, but it instantly decreased as soon as we were inside and the door was closed. I refrained from saying anything to Hinamori about it, and instead chose to go pack my things up awhile.

Night fell.

I felt nervous again.

I picked up my backpack, which was now filled with the things of mine I had taken from my own house. Hinamori was standing in my doorway, talking to me about something. I don't remember what she was saying, but I was nodding and replying all the same.

She walked with me to her front door, where we would part ways. I promised to call her when I got to my house, and she said she would be waiting for the call.

"I love you." I whispered after I'd kissed her goodnight.

My spoken confession made her falter for a moment. "I love you, too, Hitsugaya-kun."

I smiled, kissed her again and left.

I knew quite well how to get to my house, and within fifteen minutes, I was gazing back up at it. I could see the lights on in the kitchen and the living room, but everything else was dark and quiet.

Almost a little _too_ quiet.

I hesitantly climbed the steps, and looked through the glass front door to see the kitchen empty. I raised my hand to knock on the door, but that's when I became aware of a small detail.

The door was already partially open. It was just a bit, just a crack, but it was open nevertheless.

Slowly, silently, I pushed it open and looked around. The whole house was still, and I was certain that, from where I stood, I would have been able to hear a pin drop to the floor up in my room.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the light in the living room shut off. I crept down the hallway and peered past the archway. The light transitioning from the hallway was enough only to see the area immediately surrounding it.

Sticking out of the darkness was a foot. Curious, I reached out to the wall mounted light and flipped its switch to the 'on' position.

Nothing, no amount of training or experience could have prepared me for the sight that awaited me.

My parents were...they were _mutilated!_ Blood was everywhere, and my head spun as I took it all in.

My father's body was sprawled across the coffee table, perpendicular to it. The foot I had seen was his, only it was severed from the rest of him. A broken glass bottle emerged from his gut, and I could see that he was missing all of the fingers on his right hand. His throat was slit, and there was a clump of flesh and blood lying under the table.

It was an ear. His, I presumed.

It wasn't hard to find my mother's body—or what was left of it, that is. Her head was lying on the floor next to the rest of her body, which was pinned to the wall through a means I could see was nails. Her hair was missing, as was much of her scalp. Her stomach had been ripped open and its contents had spilt onto the floor, with the exception of her intestines.

They hung from the ceiling fan.

I felt nauseous. I began to sway, until I caught myself on the wall diagonal from my mother's body. My father was directly in front of me, and I had nowhere to look that didn't contain some essence of my parents.

I began to panic.

_Who could have done this?_ Why_ would someone have done this?_

I could feel the bile rising in my throat. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't swallow it back.

But the thought of puking was suddenly lost to me.

Footsteps were making their way toward me.

I shakily looked up and around, but I didn't see anyone at first.

And then there was a voice.

"Ah, such a magnificent sight."

Familiar. The voice that spoke. I had heard it somewhere before.

Out of the shadows of the study stepped a tall figure. My eyes widened as I recognized the person. "You? Aizen Sousuke?"

"Oh, hello Hitsugaya-kun." He took a few steps closer to me. "It would seem that you got here sooner than I expected."

"Did you...do this?"

"Well, what do you think?" A movement of his hand triggered me to notice a bloodies katana in his hand.

The next few moments happened in a blur. Blind rage consumed me, and even though I was devoid of a weapon of my own, I lunged forward. As I neared him, he smiled, and a sharp pain coursed through my body.

White hot pain that seared my veins.

I couldn't pinpoint the source.

I suppressed a shout and watched the crimson dance across my vision.

The last thing I saw before my vision failed me was of Aizen cleaning and sheathing the blade.

He began to speak, though I could barely hear him past the ringing in my ears.

"This world will be destroyed, Hitsugaya-kun. It's unavoidable. But after everything is gone, I will be the one to rise out of the ashes to form and rule the new world."

My consciousness began to slip.

"I need but one thing to fulfil this goal. That thing, Hitsugaya-kun is..."

_What? What was it that he said?_

And then the darkness hit me.

* * *

It's not over yet. Just thought I might want to mention that before people start telling me how bad of an ending this was. For a chapter, I think it's pretty alright. (I'm actually using this chapter to logically set up an alternate ending that I'm not going to do.)

I do hope this chapter lived up to the expectations of those who expected it. It was not set to be so gruesome, but my morbid mindset right now made me rewrite the last scene.

Review please! I almost miss getting them!

(By the way, Aizen's entrance into the final scene was all my editor's fault. I'm the moron that went with the idea.)


	9. Just Like This

After much delay, I doth return! I had much to do in the way of the parallel story of this, but as now both are on the same page, I may continue.

Er, back to the way I normally speak...

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. Chapter title belongs to SPYAIR.

My Own Worst Nightmare

By Kouzumi93

Chapter 8: Just Like This

_I'm falling in this darkness. I don't know how long I've been doing so, as I feel terribly disoriented. It's just about gotten to the point where I'm not sure I'm even falling at all. My senses are so screwed up that I can't tell the difference between up, down, left and right, and the only physical feeling I'm aware of is an immense cold that numbs my entire being. I've tried to get my eyes to adjust to the darkness, but I assume it's just too dark and they __can't__ get used to it. I don't suppose I've gone deaf, because though I can't hear anything, I've convinced myself that there's just nothing to be heard here._

_I don't even know where 'here' is. Maybe I'm dead. Maybe this is what happens when people die, and I'll end up here for so long that I'll lose all sense of myself and forget my life absolutely, after which I'll be reborn into the natural circle of life. Actually, I wonder if this process has already begun, as I can't seem to recall exactly what it was that put me here._

_What...what __could__ have happened to make me like this? __Am__ I dead, or is this all some sort of dream (albeit a rather disturbing one)? What's next? What do I do now? Is there any way to struggle against this darkness, to break free of this blackened prison?_

_Suddenly, I realize that it's blindingly bright around me, and after my vision adjusts, I glance about to find myself in a forest. The once-mighty trees that tower over me to block the sky are dead and decaying, charred black at the same time. The grass beneath me is in a similar state. I stand up and immediately stagger into one of the rotten trees, clearly not accustomed to walking after such a long while of blank time. As I become reacquainted with my feet and the feeling of walking, I notice in the distance a massive collection of people (can they be called that?) shuffling in a direction relative to one another. Everywhere I look, more and more of them can be seen, coming from all over, heading to the same place. Curious, I join them on their mysterious walk, and the abrupt end of the tree line leaves me with a shocking sight._

_Beyond the forest lies an endless clearing, severed only by the blood-red river that runs through it like a fresh wound. The sky looks to be gray, but I'm not sure if that's actually what it looks like, or if the thick fog is just blocking out its colour. To my distant right, I can make out the shape of what appears to be an isolated mountain, though it seems to be glowing towards the top, giving it an eerie appearance. Closest to me, and lined up at measured intervals along the tree line, stand figures clad in black kimonos, small books and brushes in their hands. For every person that passes them by, they make a quick marking in the book._

_As for myself, I am noted by a tanned man with a moustache, pointed glasses and flat, black hair. He says nothing as I pass, and I return the favour by remaining silent while approaching the bloody river. It seems to span far across, although there are small boats present to usher people across. I choose to wait for one of these boats, but those who are less patient decide to wade across the river. Some of the attempts I see are successful, but other people slip into the deeper parts of the water in their haste, ending up eaten by the serpent-like creatures that live there. I'm not surprised that the water doesn't get any darker._

_Eventually, one of the boats docks right in front of where I stand on the riverbank of black sand. Inside the boat is another man in black, though this one is quite different in appearance from the first. His hair is similarly black, but it flows to his shoulders, he's pale, and I can clearly see his dark blue eyes. A white ornament dangles in the hair behind his left ear, and a sword hangs at his side, tucked into the white sash that holds his kimono shut. He reaches into his sleeve and pulls out a slip of paper, unfolding it after reading over something written on the outside._

"_Hitsugaya Toushiro. Fifteen years old. Currently lives in Seireitei, Japan. Parents are Hitsugaya Kyousuke and Hitsugaya Minako. Only sibling is Hitsugaya Natsume. Your death was caused by..." His voice is soft and kind, yet monotonous all the while._

_Such a voice bores me, and I soon find myself gazing across the river at three figures that are manifesting on the opposite shore. I squint, gasp, and collapse to my knees in shock when I recognize the forms to be those of my parents and sister. I sit gaping for a while, the still-speaking man pretending not to notice. It's mutual, though, as I am hearing nothing that he says. Until, that is, he says something that requires an answer on my part._

"_Are you ready?"_

"_For what?" I finally stand up, taking a step away from him._

"_To cross the river, of course." He gestures at the boat, and I recover from the backward step._

"_What lies beyond this river?"_

"_That is for you to discover on your own."_

_I look over his shoulder at my family on the other side, then step into the boat. "I suppose I am ready, then."_

_The man smiles, and we set off._

_After a few minutes of gathering my thoughts, I resolve to get some information out of this man. "What is this place?"_

"_This river has many names. Some call it the Sanzu(1), some the River Styx(2), and others, the River of Death."_

"_Why do people come here?"_

"_Because either they're dead, or they think they're dead. You fall into the latter category."_

"_I think I'm dead?"_

"_Yes. In other words, your mind believes you to be dead, so you came here. Once we reach the opposite shore, your body will die."_

"_So I'm technically still alive?"_

"_Yes, but we can't turn back now."_

"_...I see." I look out at the reflective surface of the bloody water, but I don't have any regrets. "Who are you, anyway?"_

"_My name is Kuchiki Sojun, a shinigami."_

"_Shinigami?"_

"_Yes. Haven't you ever heard tales of handsome young warriors that go into battle to—"_

"_Nope."_

"_But you didn't even let me finish!"_

"_I know." I can't help smiling and laughing. The giddy feeling in my chest is encouraged by the sight of Natsume-neechan standing eagerly on the riverbank. I feel as if I've finally awaken from a terrible nightmare, and I don't think I want to go back to being alive._

"_**Hitsugaya-kun!"**__ A voice breaks through my thoughts, and a look around at my surroundings tells me that it's coming from my head. It continues to desperately call my name, and soon turns to what sounds like sobbing. After listening for a few minutes, it dawns on me who the voice belongs to._

'_Hinamori.'_

_She's still alive. Of course she is. But if I die, then what will happen to her? This shinigami here said that I'm still alive in my world, but if I cross this river, then I won't have a chance to go back. But do I want to go back? Here, I could be with my sister again, and my parents don't have to be gone. We could really be a family again. If I go back home, I'll still have Hinamori and Matsumoto, but I'll have to deal with the fact that my whole family is gone. Although, maybe I could manage to get revenge for my parents. Maybe I could fix everything._

_I could be like the hero from a comic book that comes back from the brink of death to take down the villains and reset the world's balance to normal. I could continue on and ensure that this doesn't happen to anyone else._

_I've changed my mind. I'm going back. I know that I'm losing an opportunity to be with my family, but I can't bring myself to chose death over a life that could possibly save others._

_I return my eyes to the shinigami controlling the boat. "Take me back."_

_He shakes his head. "I can't do that. I told you earlier that there's no going back now."_

_I grit my teeth and look into the bloody water once more. It's thick so I can't see very far down, but I imagine that it's quite deep. I'm a good swimmer, though, so I stand up and jump in, nearly tipping the boat in the process._

_The water(?) is thicker than expected, but I can see more clearly down __in__ it than I could when looking down __at__ it. This enables me to easily see the serpents that are coming right for me. There must be six or seven of them surrounding me, blocking any and all ways out. I'm trapped and hopelessly outnumbered._

_The black one and the red one shoot forward suddenly, and the rest soon follow, the yellow one being the slowest and furthest behind. I find myself beginning to panic._

'_I can't die here! I have to get back to Hinamori!'_

_My lungs feel as if they're going to explode, and the serpents are dangerously close now._

'_There's still something I have to do!'_

'_**What is it? That thing you have to do.'**_

'_I...I can't remember what it is, but I know there's something!'_

_Just as the blue and purple serpents are about to bite into me, my surroundings begin to blur into the black I had become so accustomed to while I was 'falling.'_

My senses slowly began returning to me after that. First was the pain.

It started out as just a tingle in my shoulder, but quickly grew to a burning sensation that spread throughout my entire chest. It stayed with me, intensifying as my senses of hearing and scent returned.

I was able to deduce my location merely by listening for a while. The beeping machines, doctors being paged on an intercom, along with various other sounds hinted at a hospital, or somewhere similar.

The overpowering scent of antiseptic didn't disprove it, either.

When my sight was finally returned to me, the first thing I was greeted with was a stark white ceiling. I found that I couldn't move very easily, as I couldn't physically feel anything but pain, so I resolved to gaze around the room for a while.

Everything was white. The ceiling, the walls, the curtains over the windows, the bed sheets, and I assumed the floor was, too. The only thing about the white was that it was all muted, and I realized that the lights were off. I wondered if it was night or the early morning.

Not long after I opened my eyes, my sense of feeling fully returned, and with it, the pain all but doubled. I couldn't feel my right arm at all, and my chest hurt to the point where I couldn't _breathe_ without feeling pain.

Eventually, I drifted into sleep, where the final thing I lacked came back to me.

My memory.

My physical pain was cast aside at the presence of my emotional anguish. I awoke instantly and sat upright in the hospital bed. The lights were still dimmed, making the room eerily dark.

Just then, the door opened and a young-looking nurse in a clean, solid white uniform entered the room. She must have seen me sitting up, as she made a surprised gasp. "Oh, you're awake!" Her voice was high-pitched like a child's, and her expression made her appear younger still.

"Where is this?"

"This is the Karakura General Hospital. I'm Nelliel tu Odelschwanck, a nurse here." She introduced herself as she began what I assumed was a daily check-up.

"Karakura?" I knew the town—I'd lived there once—but I wondered why I had been taken to another town.

"Yes. It's just one town south of Seireitei. Seireitei doesn't have a hospital of its own, so you were brought here."

I shivered involuntarily as my parents' mutilated bodies crossed my mind's eye.

_No,_ I thought. _I was just dreaming. I'll get confirmation of this from Odelschwanck-san._

"Uhm, do you know what time my parents will be coming in?"

The sympathetic look I received was unbearable. "I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, but they won't be in at all. They're dead."

The bluntness stunned me for a moment, but then I shot out of that bed and room faster than I thought possible.

_She's lying. This is just a sick prank, and as soon as I find my mother and father, everyone will laugh and tell me they were playing around._

I didn't get far from the room before the pain in my chest flared up again. It felt as if someone had taken a hot iron and pressed it to my skin, dragging it across my chest and onto my back. My vision began to swirl and blur, and a second later, I decided to introduce myself to the floor.

_Right?_

When I awoke again, the room was brightened and well lit, unlike my previous two visits, however brief they were. My chest felt tight, which I supposed to be because of the thick layers of bandages wrapped around it.

A slight shift in movement to my right caused me to avert my eyes to the source.

Sitting in a chair alongside the bed was Hinamori. She looked distressed, her hair was a mess, and she wore an expression not unlike mine was when the nurse had told me about my parents.

Hinamori kept her head low and didn't seem to notice that I had awakened. She continuously twisted her hands nervously, and bit her lip so hard I was sure that it would soon bleed. She kept glancing away at the wall clock behind her and over at the door, but her head would always return to its downcast position.

Finally, she gazed up in my direction, her eyes widening. "H-Hitsugaya-kun! You're awake!" She grinned, but her eyes lacked the shine they usually held.

She seemed...broken.

"How do you feel?"

"I feel like I've been hit by a train." I replied dryly.

Hinamori cringed visibly, then looked down at her hands. "You've been out for almost a week. I wasn't sure if you were going to make it." Her eyes began to water as she started to shake. "I was so scared..."

A disturbing thought crossed my mind. "Did you...You didn't see _that_, did you?"

She merely nodded, and a knot formed in my stomach. She had gone to my house. Had seen my parents mutilated.

But had she...Did she see who did it?

I wanted to ask, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. If I couldn't remember the culprit's face, why should I expect her to know?

For what seemed like hours, it stayed like that. Hinamori sat and wrung her hands together, whilst I faded in and out of consciousness, trying to make sense of the whole situation.

As darkness descended upon the outside world, the door to my room opened and in walked the busty form that was Matsumoto. Like Hinamori, she wore an expression of sheer delight, though hers held not so much pain.

"Toushiro! Long time, no see!" She exclaimed loudly as she locked me in a bear hug. I openly flinched when my chest began to sting again.

"Rangiku-san! Be careful!" Hinamori jumped up and put her hand on Matsumoto's shoulder. "His wound hasn't fully healed yet. You're going to hurt him." She insisted when Matsumoto wouldn't release me.

"He's already hurt enough. I couldn't possibly make him much worse." She defended her actions before letting me go, albeit rather reluctantly.

As I gasped desperately for breath, I attempted to ask a question that was on my mind. "How badly was I hurt?" I vaguely remembered being injured, but I couldn't remember how it happened.

I received a sympathetic look from both females, who exchanged glances.

Matsumoto was the one to speak. "You were slashed across the chest, presumably with a sword. It was a deep cut, and you were in surgery for nearly three hours."

A flashback showed me the man with the katana in his hand, but I still couldn't make out the face.

It was quite frustrating, seeing the killer right in front of me but not being able to _see_ him. At the same time, I desired to erase my memories of the event completely. My sister's suicide was disturbing enough, and now I would have to deal with my parents' mutilated bodies showing up in my head as well.

At the rate I was going, I wouldn't have been surprised if I landed in a mental hospital within ten years.

"Is there anything we can do for you, Hitsugaya-kun?" Hinamori took my hand into hers, but I swiftly pulled it away, not yet aware of how rude I was being.

"I...I think I'd like to be alone for a while." I looked to the window so I didn't have to see their disappointed faces. I really couldn't think of anything else to do.

"Alright. We'll be back in the morning to check up on you. If all goes well, the doctors might authorise you to leave tomorrow afternoon, so just stay in bed to rest and recuperate. It's not just your body that needs to heal, Toushiro." Matsumoto lectured.

"What are you, my mo—" I stopped myself from continuing as the art decoration my mother had become came to mind. I was glad that I hadn't eaten anything recently, because my stomach began to churn. I noticed Hinamori also pale and cringe.

"I'm sorry, Toushiro." Matsumoto sounded as if she blamed herself for this, and I wasn't sure whether to agree or not, so I chose to remain indifferent.

"We'd better be going now, Rangiku-san." Hinamori stated in a subdued voice.

"Yeah, I know." Matsumoto ruffled my hair lightly. "Get better soon, Toushiro."

I nodded distantly, and not long thereafter, they were gone.

I lay there for a while, resisting sleep. I couldn't sleep.

I was deathly afraid to.

Nurses and doctors went in and out of my room continuously throughout the evening, but I might as well have been in a daze. I heard none of their questions, saw no faces, understood no names. Everyone was a mute, blurry shape in my fucked up world that had taken me hostage. Colours were blended together, creating the illusion that I was looking at the world through a glass bottle filled with water.

The only thing that kept me grounded were the constant beeps emanating from my heart monitor. They told me that I wasn't dead yet. Relief had not come. Salvation had not yet been found. In truth, these notions were both wrong, as I had been offered death, and had very nearly reached it. But I had refused it, and now I had to find out why.

At some point, I must have fallen asleep (or else somebody physically put me under), because a certain nightmare had returned. I thought that _maybe_ it would be a bit different, but nothing had changed. If anything, it was more blurry than usual, and there was a muffled rumbling in the distance.

When I awoke, I found that the sound was actually from a thunderstorm occurring outside. I watched the lightning flashes fail to fully penetrate through the thick curtains, and I had a sudden urge to watch the hazardous weather. I slipped out of the bed and carefully made my way over to the large windows.

While painfully tugging one half of the curtains to the side, lightning happened to flash at the same time, causing me to flinch and retreat a step from my only link to the outside world.

Rain pelted the window, merciless in their aim. No place exposed to them was left dry, and I randomly felt sorry for anyone who had to walk in it.

I looked up at the clock on the wall, which read '1.53.' In twelve hours or so, I might find myself freed of the hospital and its sterile environment. On the other hand, I might be forced to stay for a while longer, as my wound healed.

At the time, I didn't know which option I would have preferred. I only knew that I strongly desired to find my parents' killer. And I wanted to END him.

_That's it._ I realized suddenly. _That's why I came back here. It's all for revenge._

As the storm died down, I crawled painfully back into my bed. I had to refrain from using my right arm, else the pain would become unbearable, but becoming left-handed in a matter of minutes was absurdly awkward.

The light of the early morning sun woke me. I wondered if I had forgotten to shut the curtain the night before, but a quick scan of the area gave me what I considered as a sufficient answer.

There was a huge man standing to one side of my window, where _both_ curtains had been drawn, gazing out into the morning. A police uniform adorned the man's large figure, which was strangely furry where his skin should have been seen.

He looked like a human fox.

I wanted to laugh, but fear stifled that idea. That police officer was huge, and could easily subdue five of me. At the same time, no doubt.

He turned around, apparently having felt as if he was being watched, and noticed immediately that my eyes were open. "Good morning, Hitsugaya-san. Are you feeling well?"

I nodded slowly, swallowing hard.

"That's good to know. My name is Komamura Sajin, and I'm currently the officer in charge of investigating your parents' murder."

Again, I nodded, though I was a bit nervous. It was common to interrogate survivors and witnesses, but I didn't know that these sessions could be held in a hospital. And what kind of questions could I be asked with the situation I was in?

As if he had heard my thoughts, Komamura-san continued. "I just need to ask you a few questions about last Friday. If that's alright with you, of course."

A third nod.

"Okay then. Do you _clearly_ recall what happened on the night of Friday, the thirteenth of October?"

"Mostly, yes. I went home at around six—"

"Where were you?"

"I was staying at a friend's house."

"Whose?"

I considered lying for only an instant, changing my mind when I presumed that they had also interviewed Hinamori. "Hinamori Momo's."

"Why were you there?"

This caught me off guard, and the thought of lying presented itself to me again. "Quite honestly, I was there to get a break from my parents."

"How long were you there?"

"About ten days, I guess."

Komamura-san nodded as he jotted everything I said down. "What happened after you got home that night?"

I took a shaky, deep breath. "As soon as I entered the house, I looked around my kitchen, checking for signs of life, but I didn't see anyone."

"Tell me, why did you word it, 'checking for signs of life?' Did you know they were dead?"

"No, no way. The house was dark from the street, and the front door was open a bit, so I was concerned."

"You were worried then, but you had just spent nearly two weeks away, is that it?"

"That-ah-that's a family matter."

The furry man gazed at me hard for a moment, then waved his hand. "Alright, continue."

"As I was pondering the silence of the house, I noticed the light go off in the living room, so I went in and turned it back on. That's...That's when..." I closed my eyes and tried to blink away the images that pestered me. "That's when I found them. My parents."

"Were they dead or alive at this point?"

"They were most certainly dead." I wished that he would stop asking so many questions. I knew he was just doing his job, but I was really coming to hate this man.

"How can you be so sure?"

I nearly gagged, but I forced myself to speak. "M-my...My mother's _head_ was...not attached to...to the rest of her."

"And what about your father?"

"H-his throat...was cut open, among other injuries that I don't care to disclose." I involuntarily began to shake. If Komamura-san noticed, he chose not to say anything about it.

"So you're absolutely positive that they were dead?"

I wanted to ask him if he had heard what I just said about their bodies, but I held it in. "Most definitely."

"Are you able to tell me if their bodies were warm or cold?"

"I'm afraid not. I didn't touch either body." I shuddered at the thought of touching them as they appeared to me once again. I was glad I had not yet eaten breakfast. I wasn't going to have much of an appetite for days.

"And you were still uninjured at this point?"

"Yes."

"How did you get hurt?"

I hesitated as I tried to remember. The most recent of those memories were quite hazy. "Someone else was in the house, and he had some sort of sword with him—I think it was a katana. He was talking to me about something, but I can't recall what it was."

"You saw someone in the house? And you spoke to this person?"

"Yes." _I guess so. I don't really remember._

"Do you know who he was?" The officer seemed eager to have a new lead, pressing me for as much information as I could give.

"I can't see his face or full form in my memory, but I get the feeling that I knew the person."

"Can you describe anything about this man? Like his height, skin colour, perhaps what he sounds like?"

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I can't recall much about him."

Komamura-san watched me to see if I was lying or not, then jotted down a few more notes. "Did your parents know anyone that may have wanted to cause them any harm?"

"Not that I'm aware of." I looked down at my shaking hands. "But I really don't know much when it comes to the affairs of my parents. They were pretty private people."

It was silent for a while. An awkward, uncomfortable silence. Komamura-san was reading through his notebook, trying to see if he missed anything important. Then he appeared to have found something.

"I noticed on your school records, Hitsugaya-san, that you have moved around and changed schools continuously over the past few years. Is it possible that your parents were trying to hide from someone?"

I cringed inwardly. "No, actually the moves were my fault."

"How so? I noticed that your record never mentioned any fights, so I know you were never kicked out of a school, so why was it your fault?"

"I would rather not discuss that."

Still, the officer pressed on. "Were _you_ trying to avoid someone?"

"No, not exactly." Before Komamura-san could ask another question about it, I spoke again. "Look, I've already had to tear apart one traumatic event for you, so I would appreciate not having to break down another."

He looked me in the eyes and sighed, closing his notebook in the process. He stands up. "Well, that's all I have for you now. If you remember anything else, especially about the man you saw, please don't hesitate to give me a call."

He held out a business card, which I reluctantly took. "I'll be sure to do that." _Well, not really._

He took a few steps toward the door. "We'll be in touch."

After he was gone, I found that I couldn't relax. The conversation had shaken me up, and now all I desired was to find that man.

But for my own sake, not the police's.

A while later, Hinamori and Matsumoto returned as promised. Hinamori still held her solemn expression, whilst Matsumoto looked like she was trying to force herself to be optimistic.

"Are you feeling any better?" Hinamori asked as she sat down in the same chair from the night before.

"Well, we're down to a bus now."

Both blinked a few times, looking to see if the other got it. "What?"

"Yesterday I said it felt as if I'd been hit by a train. Now it's just a bus."

Matsumoto laughed nervously. "Well, at least your sense of humour is still in-tact."

"It's the only thing keeping me sane." I reached my left hand up to my chest and began to trace the bandages there. "Do either of you know if I'll be allowed to leave today?"

Hinamori shook her head. "I haven't heard anything from the doctors yet. They should let you know before too long."

"What time is it now?"

"Almost twelve thirty." Matsumoto replied, looking at the wall clock. "I have to get home soon to make sure my cousins don't ki—fight with each other while my grandparents are out."

"You can leave whenever you need to, Rangiku-san. I'm going to stay here today, so I'll call you later to let you know what's going on." Hinamori responds.

Matsumoto nodded slowly. "If you guys need anything, give me a call. My grandparents will be returning at around four, so I can give you a ride back to town."

Their conversation faded, and I wasn't sure if it was because they had stopped talking, or I had lost consciousness. All I knew was that sometime after Matsumoto left, Odelschwanck-san came into the room with a tray of food. I stared at it as she set it down, realizing that even if I was hungry, there was no way I would be able to stomach anything.

The nurse seemed to have considered this. "You should make sure to eat. Your body is currently weak, so it's going to need all of the nutrition it can get." She smiled and left, leaving me to wonder if this was one of the tests that could get me out of the hospital sooner.

Perhaps it was because I really wanted to leave, or because Hinamori pleaded with me, but I did end up picking at the food, managing to eat about half of it. What was left was prodded around the plate until a doctor came in. Hinamori exited the room immediately afterward.

This doctor was familiar to me, but I couldn't place him right away. He looked to be rather tall, maybe somewhere around 185cm in height, and his black hair was cut in a way that made him resemble a duck. He also sported a goatee, which was a bit reminiscent to that of a goat. Actually, that's probably why they call it a _goat_ee.

Looking at the plain nametag pinned to his uniform, I was surprised to see that I recognised the name printed there.

_Kurosaki._

Finally, I recalled the place I had seen the doctor. It was at Kurosaki Ichigo's funeral, and this was the man who had presented himself as the father of the deceased. Then I remembered that Kurosaki had told me that his father was a doctor, so there was no mistaking it.

The doctor standing before me was the father of the kid that managed to sneak the both of us out of our gym class.

"Good afternoon, Hitsugaya-san. I do hope you've calmed down a bit since the other day. I'm sure it wasn't the greatest feeling to have ripped out over half of your stitches, now was it?"

"No, not really." I replied, cringing at the literally painful memory.

He nodded in approval, then proceeded to give me a thorough examination of my injury.

It was the first time I had seen it. It was an angry red gash that started near my stomach, climbed across my chest, over my right shoulder, then disappeared onto my back. Dozens of stitches held it closed, but I could tell that it was incredibly deep. I was surprised that I was still alive, since it was sure to have hit a vital somewhere.

I mused that I _had_ come back from the Sanzu alive, but the shinigami said that I was still alive, anyway. So maybe Fate was just screwing with my life, again.

Kurosaki-san began to rewrap the bandages around my chest. "Well, it looks like you're healing remarkably fast, Hitsugaya-san. I can release you today, but we haven't yet reached any of your relatives. Do you know how any of them can be contacted?"

"No. I've never had much contact with either of my parents' families."

"I see. Well, do you have somewhere to stay until we can get in touch with someone?"

I thought of Hinamori's place, but I wasn't sure how much she would want me around after an incident such as this. Instead of replying, I looked down at my hands.

"I see. I'll make some inquiries and see what I can come up with."

Just then, the door my room opened, and Hinamori slipped in. "U-uhm, Hitsugaya-kun can always stay with me while everything is sorted out."

Kurosaki-san looked at her, apparently contemplating her offer. Then he turned to me. "Would that be alright with you, Hitsugaya-san?"

"If it's alright with her, it's alright with me."

He nodded, then looked back at Hinamori. "How much supervision is there at your house, Hinamori-san?"

"My cook and maids are around all the time, except on Fridays. But I can have a family friend check in on those days, if need be."

My mind raced when Hinamori said 'family friend.' There was something about that phrase that worried me deeply.

"Hmm...I can also check in occasionally, since I also live in Seireitei." He clapped his hands together. "Alright, then I'll go present this to Ryuuken!" Kurosaki-san danced out of the room, leaving me alone with Hinamori.

I had to ask. "Hinamori, who's this 'family friend' you mentioned?"

She looked puzzled. "Don't you remember, Hitsugaya-kun? He came over to the mansion just two day before..._this_ happened." She gestures at my chest.

"I remember someone being there, but I can't _see_ them."

"It was Aizen-dono. You remember him, don't you?"

And then the memories slammed into me like a ton of bricks. Yes, I did remember the man who visited that night. I remembered the man whom Hinamori practically idolized.

The man who had killed my parents.

I sat there stunned for a while, and the last memory I have of my time in the hospital was when Kurosaki-san came back in.

"It's been authorized." He had said.

I found myself wanting to puke at the thought of Aizen stepping foot into Hinamori's mansion again.

But I had resolved one problem: I now knew who it was that was going to receive the brunt of my rage.

* * *

(1) Sanzu – A Buddhist belief, I believe. (I read about it on Wikipedia.)

(2) River Styx – Basically the same thing. (I _should_ have read about it on Wikipedia. But I didn't 'cause I'm lazy.)

Damn, this took me an entire night to type! The reason for that is because the whole italicized part in the beginning was not quite planned like that. It was initially supposed to be four or five lines that came out to a total of about 33 words. Now it's over 1,500 words long.

This is the longest chapter to date, so reviews will be doubly appreciated! Next chapter should be out soon!


	10. Animal I Have Become

I recently discovered that this story is going to be ending soon, because there's only three more chapters after this. I'm actually excited about it, because this will be the first story that I'll actually finish.

By the way, the title of this chapter was the song that inspired the story's name, but I'm not sure exactly how that happened.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. Chapter title belongs to Three Days Grace

My Own Worst Nightmare

By Kouzumi93

Chapter 9: Animal I Have Become

I paced in front of my house, trying to work up the courage to go inside. I had to get some things from my room before heading back to Hinamori's, but I couldn't go in. Not with what had happened the last time I was in there.

Matsumoto had picked up Hinamori and myself at the hospital and dropped us off at Hinamori's mansion, but I had left just as quickly to return home for my clothing.

That had been over an hour earlier.

I stopped pacing and sat down on the bottom step, letting out a deep sigh. The short trip was taking much longer than expected, and was looking to take all night long at the rate I was going.

I felt like a fool, sitting on my own front steps, too afraid to go inside. Puzzled greatly about what was going on.

After a while, I heard footsteps in the distance, growing louder with each step. I looked up and around, but it was in vain. It was dark and foggy, to the point that I could barely see across the street without a struggle. Eventually, a figure manifested under a streetlamp.

Hinamori.

When she saw me, her pace quickened so she was almost running, and then she stopped right in front of the stairs and me.

"Hitsugaya-kun, what are you doing? I thought you were going to get some clothes?"

"I know. But I can't go in." I looked at my shoes, slightly embarrassed.

She sat down next to me, apparently concerned. "I guess that's to be expected. Do you want me to get some things together for you?"

"I can't make you do that."

"You're not making me if I do it of my own volition."

"Yeah, well."

"Alright, why don't I just go in with you? That should be alright, shouldn't it?"

I stole a glance at her, contemplating any other options I had. There were none. "I suppose that would be fine. But are you sure you don't mind?"

"Of course. Let's go in before someone starts to suspect something." She stood up, and I repeated the action after a moment of hesitation.

I pushed the front door open and we stepped into my kitchen. I didn't touch the lights, only found the stairs and began climbing, Hinamori trailing along behind me. When we reached my room, I faltered as I reached for the handle. My fingers twitched, but I pressed on and opened the door. My room looked just as I had left it nearly three weeks earlier, only a bit dustier. I opened up my closet door and dug out a suitcase, tossing it onto my bed. I then opened the top drawer of my dresser, but I didn't take anything out.

It seemed so surreal to be at home, packing my bags for a permanent leave. This wasn't just another one of my stays away from home for a while. No, it finally dawned on me that this would probably be the last time I would enter the house for a long time to come.

Music suddenly began playing, and I jumped in surprise.

"Ah, sorry, that's my phone." Hinamori said as she fished the small device from her pocket and looked at it. "It's Rangiku-san." She stepped out of my doorway. "I have to go outside, because it seems that I don't get service in your house. I'll be right back."

I nodded, and a bit later, I heard the front door open and close. I looked back to my dresser, and resolved to just grab some random clothes and possibly come back another time for more, if I needed anything else. My parents had bought the house, so I supposed that it belonged to me now, along with probably everything in the house. But I can't say I'm the most knowledgeable person when it comes to legal matters.

When I had nearly filled my suitcase, I stepped over to a table next to my bed and carefully lifted the picture of my sister. I closed my eyes as I held it, coming to the realization that I could no longer hear her voice, much less her laugh that used to comfort me in what is now the distant past.

I added the frame to my suitcase, delicately tucking it between a few shirts. Zipping the pack shut, I yanked it off the bed and went out into the hallway, suddenly realizing that Hinamori hadn't come back yet from her phone call with Matsumoto. I hesitated at the top of the stairs, but shook my head and descended the stairs, lugging the large bag along with me.

At the bottom, I faltered yet again. As much as I wanted to get out of that suffocating house, I wasn't sure I could just leave so easily. There was a nagging feeling in the back of my head that told me that I would never be back there again.

Before I knew what I was doing, I found my feet directing me to the living room. By the time I became aware of it, I was standing in the roped off doorway, staring wearily at the damage. The white carpet was still stained red in a number of places, and I was sure it would have to be replaced sooner rather than later.

I slipped under the tape and stood on the other side, trying to focus on the floor closest to me, one of the places that the carpet remained white. It was dully noted that the ceiling fan was gone, and the pungent smell of disinfectant stung my eyes and clogged my throat, damn near suffocating me. I began to feel lightheaded, and distorted images flashed across my mind. The bloodied images of my sister, mother, and father were meshed together as one terrifying picture, but what disturbed me the most was that I kept seeing Aizen standing there in the Study with that blood soaked sword.

I hadn't told anyone about that yet, since I couldn't be sure that anyone would believe me. Hinamori especially.

I sank down along the wall to the floor and tightly shut my eyes. I put all my efforts into calming down and clearing my head, not easily succeeding.

I thought only a moment had gone by, but I suddenly felt a presence in the room. I scrambled to my feet, only to be greeted by a surprisingly large pair of assets. They pushed me back and I hit my head on the wall behind me, falling back to the floor.

"I knew you'd be here, Toushiro." A familiar voice spoke. I looked up to see a face I should have expected.

"Matsumoto, what are you doing here?"

"Hinamori-chan called me just after we got off the phone and said that she couldn't find you. She didn't look in here, but I guess she didn't think you'd be back here so soon." She sighed deeply and took a look around. "This room looks terrible."

"Uh huh."

She glanced down at me. "How are you doing?"

I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my chin on them. Quietly, I spoke. "I still can't believe they're gone."

A slight movement and Matsumoto was sitting next to me. "What are you going to do now?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure of anything I _can_ do." I replied, avoiding her eyes. I actually could think of one thing, but I wasn't planning on revealing it to anyone yet.

"Well, why don't you start by getting out of this house?"

I let out a chuckle. "That's always an option, I suppose."

Matsumoto stood up and extended a hand toward me. "Come on, Toushiro. Hinamori-chan is outside waiting for us."

I took a hold of that hand and allowed myself to be pulled to my feet. I grabbed the suitcase that stood along the wall where I left it, and we departed. Halfway down the hall, I paused in my movements. "Matsumoto?"

"What is it?"

"...Thank you."

"You're welcome, Toushiro." I could hear the smile in her voice, but I didn't turn around. Instead, I continued on through my vacant kitchen and out the front door, finding Hinamori standing at the bottom of the steps, just as Matsumoto had said.

"Ah, Hitsugaya-kun! You were in the living room after all."

"Uh huh." I went down the stairs, lugging the suitcase along. "Let's get going. It's already dark."

"Yeah." Hinamori and I stepped away from my house, while Matsumoto began in the opposite direction.

"See you two!" She called. "I've got to go pick something up for my grandmother."

"Alright! See you later, Rangiku-san!"

With that, we parted ways and Hinamori and I walked in temporary silence, both lost in our own thoughts. Then, out of nowhere, Hinamori began to babble.

"School has been pretty hectic while you were gone. I missed a few days myself, but since we're currently doing really easy stuff in almost every class, you'll probably be able to catch up quickly. When you go back, of course. With what happened, you're probably not the most eager to get back." Her expression had saddened by the time she finished speaking. "I'm sorry about your parents." She added as an afterthought.

"Don't be. There's nothing you could have done to prevent it."

"I'm sure there was _something_ I could had done to help."

Instead of replying, I merely shrugged my shoulders, and Hinamori went back to talking.

"When we get back to my place, I have to try to call Aizen-dono again. I haven't been able to reach him for the past few days, and I'm getting a little worried." I narrowed my eyes at the mention of that man's name, but said nothing. "Aizen-dono was extremely helpful while you were in the hospital. He took me to see you almost every day, and even went along to your parents' funeral. If it weren't for him—"

"My parents would still be alive." I finished for her.

"...What? What are you talking about?" Hinamori looked shocked.

"I'm saying that Aizen is the one responsible for killing my parents and almost taking me out, as well."

"That can't be! Aizen-dono would never hurt anyone, much less mutilate two people beyond recognition!"

"I know what I saw, Hinamori!" My hands twisted into fists, my body shaking in remembrance of the event. "There's no way it could have been anyone else."

"But why would Aizen-dono kill your parents?" We had stopped walking by this point and stood face to face.

"I don't know, but—"

"See? If you can't think of why he would have done it, then he couldn't have!"

"That's not even logical! All I have to do is find a reason."

"There _is_ no reason, because _he_ _didn't do it!_"

My jaw clenched, and I knew I was losing my patience faster than I cared to. "Hinamori, just drop it. I'm not going to keep arguing with you over something I know _damn well_ to be true."

She opened her mouth as if to say something, but then closed it and dropped her head. The rest of our walk was filled with a thick, tense silence that couldn't have been cut with a machete.

Back at Hinamori's mansion, I returned to the room I had stayed in for such a long while and set the oversized suitcase in front of the dresser. I thought about unpacking it, but opted instead to just open it and take out some things to make the room feel like mine.

Most notably, was the photo frame of my sister, which was placed on the bedside table. Similar to how it had been back at home.

I was still fuming from my fight with Hinamori, and a lack of appetite left me with nothing to do. I lay back on the bed, cautious of my injury, yet my mind went blank all the same. I was glad for that, because I didn't have to think, to remember. I must have fallen asleep or spaced out, because the next thing I knew, the clock read 3.08. I blinked a few times and sat up, noting that the room was just as dark as I'd left it.

I was calmed down at this time, and still not tired. I mentally ran through a short list of things I could've been doing, finally deciding to take a shower. I got up, opened the suitcase to dig out something to wear, and then snuck out into the hallway. I was used to Hinamori's house being quiet, but even then there was usually some kind of background noise to be heard. At the moment, there was an absolute stillness about the place that triggered a recent memory.

My own house had been just as silent that night I'd gone back home, and my knees suddenly felt weak as I relived the evening. Rationality disappeared, panic taking its place, and I mindlessly darted through the hall toward Hinamori's room, needing to confirm for myself that she was alright. I didn't take into consideration that it was three in the morning. It didn't even dawn on me that she was probably sleeping.

I flung her door open with a _bang_, quickly slipping the light switch into the 'on' position. Hinamori yelled and fell from her bed, clearly startled. Seeing her moving on her own made me feel better, since I could see that she was just fine. My self-awareness flooded back to me, and I realized what I just did.

"H-Hitsugaya-kun? What are you doing?" She stammered, picking herself up off the floor.

"I'm sorry. It was really quiet, and I guess I panicked."

She turned to look at the clock. "It's three-thirty in the morning. How loud do you expect it to be?"

"I know, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking." I started to back out of the room. "You can go back to sleep, now."

"No, I'm already up. My heart is racing, so I don't think I could sleep even if I wanted to." She tossed her blankets back onto the bed, then stretched. "Why'd you freak out so badly?" She asked, stepping over to where I stood.

"I...My house was just as quiet that night as it is now, and I had to make sure you were alright."

Hinamori reached out her arms and pulled me into an embrace, being extra careful not to irritate the sword wound on my torso. "I'm fine, Hitsugaya-kun. I have been and I will remain to be, for nothing is going to happen to me. Nothing more will happen to you, either, so relax. It's so hard to see you like this, because I know there's not much I can do to help you."

"No, you're helping more than you think." She smiles, and I resist the urge to kiss her. "But you really should be getting back to bed now."

"Are you going to sleep soon, too?"

"I was sleeping not long ago, so I'm going to take a shower, then I'll probably sleep a bit more."

"A shower in the middle of the night?"

"Why not? It's not going to hurt anyone." Hinamori laughed while removing her hands from my waist. "Good night, Hinamori." I began to leave again, actually much more tired than I let on.

"Wait, Hitsugaya-kun."

"Hmm?" I turned back to her, but when my eyes met hers, she looked down at the floor.

"I...I know we don't agree about the role Aizen-dono played in the...death of your parents, but I wonder if this could be sorted out by talking to him."

"You can't be suggesting that he come over _here_?"

"No, not really. I know where he lives, though, so we can just go over there and have a talk."

"I personally would prefer a more..._public_ environment."

"Why?"

"Aizen wouldn't dare to do anything where other people would see. Now that I think about it, his place would be better." Her silence prompted me to explain. "He won't confess to a murder if there's a group of anonymous people around. If one of them was a cop, he'd be screwed. But I want him to confess, so a private building would be better for that."

Hinamori remained quiet for a while longer, seemingly regretting that she had said anything. Finally, she spoke. "Alright, I'll call Rangiku-san in the morning and see if she would like to accompany us, and we'll go in the afternoon."

I couldn't help raising an eyebrow. "I'm assuming that this has already been approved with him?"

"Actually, no. He's been out of reach for the past few days."

She looked upset, and then it was my turn to keep my mouth shut, only because I didn't want to get into an 'I told you so' argument at such a ridiculous time of day. Honestly, I didn't want to have to argue with Hinamori at all, but some things just can't be helped. "I'm going to go take that shower now." I replied instead.

"Yeah, of course. Good night, Hitsugaya-kun." She closed the door to her room, and I moved back across the house to reach the bathroom, my initial destination.

It was a very painful shower. Removing the bandages was a hassle, and the hot water running over the gash very nearly brought me to tears. The pain numbed my right arm again, so getting out of the shower and dressing myself was another challenge. I ditched the bandages I was supposed to keep on (except for in the shower, of course), simply because there was no way in hell I would be able to wrap them back around my chest successfully.

By the time I arrived back in my room, the sky outside was getting lighter, and an observant glance at the clock told me that it was just after four thirty. A wave of exhaustion swept over me, and I curled up on the bed, falling asleep only moments after my head hit the pillow.

The sunlight awoke me a while later, and I sat up groggily. It took me a few minutes to remember the night's events, and I felt like an idiot for reacting so stupidly over something so trivial as silence. Cursing myself, I got out of bed and wandered from my room into the hallway. Without too much thought behind the action, I went downstairs to the dining room and found Hinamori and Matsumoto having breakfast.

"Good morning, Hitsugaya-kun."

"Good morning, Toushiro."

"'Morning." I sat down across from Matsumoto, not asking for any food when one of the maids asked.

"Aren't you hungry?" Hinamori asked.

"No, not really." I propped my elbows on the edge of the table and closed my eyes a bit.

"You should eat. You'll stop growing if you don't eat properly, you know." Matsumoto explained.

"Don't lecture me about my height!"

"You're right. It's not you're fault you're short."

"I'm not short, I'm vertically challenged." I crossed my arms and looked past her to see out the windows.

"You could be fun-sized, too." Hinamori suggested. Matsumoto started to laugh, and Hinamori joined in.

"That...that's not even funny!"

"It was, actually." Matsumoto managed to say between chuckles.

"Hmph."

There was a lull in the conversation, but Hinamori finally brought up the topic that had been on my mind all morning. "Rangiku-san, do you want to go somewhere with Hitsugaya-kun and I later this afternoon?"

Matsumoto's head tilted to the side. "Depends. Where are you going?"

Hinamori looked at me briefly before replying. "We're heading over to Aizen-dono's place to do a bit of investigating."

"What do you need to investigate _there?_" She looked curious, but it quickly changed to a devious expression as she turned to me. "Does this have something to do with a certain bet that you're losing?"

"Matsumoto, I've hardly thought about that bet since we made it."

"Hitsugaya-kun thinks that Aizen-dono did it."

"Did what?"

I stood up. "Killed my parents. And I don't _think_ he did it. I _know_ he did it."

"We're not getting into this again. Until it can be proved, I'm not going to believe you." Hinamori rose as well, and two maids rushed over to clear away her plates.

"You know, this is about how our bet started." Matsumoto continued to sit, seemingly enjoying the 'discussion.'

"Fuck the bet, Matsumoto. I don't have time to play some stupid little game." Feeling my temper rise, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. When I opened them, I tried to remain calm and composed. "So, are you coming with us or not?"

She stayed quiet for a time, apparently thinking about it. Then she grinned and finally jumped up from her seat. "Of course I'll join you! There's no way I'll be left behind on such an intriguing adventure."

I nodded and looked over to Hinamori. "We're leaving this afternoon, correct?"

"That's the plan."

"Alright, then we'll disband until about one o'clock." I stated, starting to leave the room. "I'm going to go get ready."

"But Hitsugaya-kun, it's only nine o'clock."

"Yeah, I know. But twiddling my thumbs is an important part of the thinking process."

"You could hang out with us, too." Judging by the sound of her voice getting louder and footsteps closing in, I concluded that Matsumoto was right behind me.

"NO, thank you."

"Aww, why not?"

I turned slightly, glancing at her by way of peripheral vision. "You shouldn't even have to ask." With that, I returned to my room.

I don't recall doing much after that, except changing my clothes and _actually_ sitting there and twiddling my thumbs. I don't suppose I slept, but I don't remember. All I know is that Hinamori and Matsumoto showed up at my door just after twelve thirty, and the three of us went back down to the dining room for a quick, light lunch.

The table was deathly silent. Hinamori poked at her food, while Matsumoto found her own food to be quite interesting. I couldn't wait to leave, although I was rather lacking in a plan for our encounter with the murderer. I wondered if I would just end up playing it by ear when the time came.

My worrying about that was useless, I soon found out. Aizen lived on the other side of town, just a few blocks east of the high school, which would give me plenty of time to work something out in my head.

We must have left soon after lunch, because the next thing that comes to mind is the three of us wandering through the streets. This was a continuation of our mutual silence, which I was grateful for. Now I just had to figure out a course of action before we reached our destination, or else I really would be reduced to the improvisation method.

_I can't just walk up to him and accuse him, but mindless chit-chat leading up to it would be annoying. Plus, I have to take into consideration that Hinamori and Matsumoto are with. Perhaps I can ditch them somewhere?_ I stole glances at the females walking in front of me, then shook my head. _Out of the question. They'd catch on quickly, and I still don't know the actual address of Aizen's house. I suppose they've already predicted my actions._

"What are you thinking about?" A soft voice belonging to Hinamori drew me out of my thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"You look like you're lost deep in thought."

"Oh, I guess I am." I smirked, an expression rather inappropriate, considering the situation.

"Hitsugaya-kun..." She looked at me with a countenance I couldn't quite place. "Don't do anything stupid when we get there. Revenge only begets revenge, you know."

"I'll try to keep that in mind."

"Don't attack him, please."

"If he so much as _looks_ at you or Matsumoto in the wrong way, I can't promise anything."

"Ah, that's—" Hinamori's face became a light shade of pink as she looked down at her shoes. "That's very noble of you, Hitsugaya-kun."

"What else would I do? It's not like I could just sit idle in such a situation."

"Let's just hope it doesn't come to that." Matsumoto interjected.

"Yeah, well that bastard is still in for it as soon as I can prove that he did it."

"Toushiro, haven't you ever considered telling the police and letting them handle this?"

"They wouldn't believe me, and the only punishment he would get would be jail-time or something. It's better to take things into my own hands."

Matsumoto and I argued for a block and a half, when Hinamori finally got sick of it. "I think I liked the silence better, you two." She sighed, and we did indeed resume our speechless expedition.

A block away from Aizen's, and I still had nothing. A part of me wanted to just give it up and go back home, but another side insisted that I continue on and go with my gut for the confrontation with Aizen. A third side urged me to go on, yet it hoped that Aizen would just not be there and I wouldn't have to see him. The three were completely at odds with one another, and I desired to crawl under a rock and let them duke it out to decide a winner.

Just as quickly as that thought came to me, it was gone. The reason: we reached our destination. Before me stood the home of the man who killed my parents.

It was a red, two story brick building with white windows. A small balcony overhung the front door, and two white, Roman-style pillars supported it from below. The house was decently sized, though maybe a bit too big for just one man to inhabit. Everything was still and quiet, just like—

I shook the image out of my head.

"Hitsugaya-kun, are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm just peachy."

"It doesn't look like anyone's home." Observed Matsumoto, pointing at the empty parking spot out front.

"There's really only one way to find out for sure." I approached the door and reached for the handle.

Hinamori ran up and pulled my hand back. "You can't just _go in!_"

"How else are we going to find out if he's here?"

"Why don't you try knocking?"

"Nah. Too much effort." I turned the handle and pushed it in, surprised that it actually opened for me.

"This is considered breaking and entering, Hitsugaya-kun. We could get in serious trouble for this."

"We're not breaking and entering if we go through the unlocked front door. It's not like we smashed a window or something." I stepped inside, and the other two followed shortly after.

"I can't believe we're doing this."

"We're not doing anything bad. We only came to find and k—talk to Aizen."

Hinamori glared at me, but I pretended not to notice as I looked around the room. It was a small entryway, decorated only by two statues, a coat rack and a fancy rug. Three archways and a door provided exits, so we started with the door and made our way through the rest of the house.

There was a half-bath, a huge library and study, a moderate living room, an elegant dining room, as well as a large kitchen on the first floor. The second floor contained two full bathrooms, a master bedroom, two guest rooms, an exercise room, along with a spiral staircase that went up into the attic.

We looked everywhere, but there was no sign of Aizen anywhere. There wasn't even evidence of his presence in the building recently. That said, I was ready to throw in the towel and go home.

But that's when we heard it. A mysterious noise started to sound over our heads, and we all looked up and then at each other. I started up the stairs, Hinamori and Matsumoto right behind me.

I had to find out what was making that 'quacking' sound!

Upon reaching the top stair and facing the source, I wished I hadn't been so curious.

There, in the middle of the room stood a man who looked to still be in his teens. His hair was silver, and his eyes were slit shut. He wore a fuzzy yellow robe over a t-shirt and jeans, but the most disturbing part about him was his choice of footwear.

Yellow duck slippers that, if he walked, would quack with each step.

"Who the hell are you?" I demanded.

"Ara, how'd ya git in 'ere?" He tilted his head to the side.

"The front door. Now answer _my_ question: who are you?"

"I'm Ichimaru Gin."

* * *

Ooh, what's going to happen now?

Two things about this chapter were planned far in advance: 1.) Ichimaru would introduce himself and the chapter would end, and 2.) that Ichimaru would have duck slippers and a fuzzy yellow robe. (The second one was Puddinmasta's idea. Much of the randomness involving pudding and/or ducks is usually her fault. Or mine, 'cause her way of thinking has begun to wear off on me.)

Anyway, I would very much appreciate any reviews and/or suggestions for improvement. Suggestions are always well-considered, and both are much appreciated and motivating.

Thanks in advance~!


	11. A Silent Murder

I know it's been an entire month since I updated, but there's a specific reason I've spaced the chapters out so much. It's a selfish reason, but I guess I've been making you all wait a month anyway, so this really isn't much different than usual, no? (But this chapter was finished way back on the sixth of February. The next one is almost done already.)

Anyway, enjoy this chapter~!

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. Chapter title belongs to Story of the Year.

My Own Worst Nightmare

By Kouzumi93

Chapter 10: A Silent Murder

I stared blankly at the food on my plate, both hungry and not at the same time. Hinamori seemed to be in a similar mood, because she just poked at her food. We hadn't found Aizen, but in finding that other kid, Ichimaru Gin, we confirmed that Aizen hadn't been seen since the nineteenth.

Hinamori was still trying to wrap her mind around the fact that her idol is a murderer.

I wanted to call Matsumoto and see how things were going on her end, since she had volunteered to keep an eye on Ichimaru.

~A Few Hours Ago~

"_I'm Ichimaru Gin. Now, d'ya wanna answer my question, or do I hafta call the police?"_

"_Ah, it's Ichimaru-san." Hinamori said as she stepped around me._

"_Ya're that girl from the funeral."_

"_Eh?" I asked, a bit lost._

"_Ichimaru-san came with Aizen-dono to your parents' funeral."_

"_You're joking, right?"_

"_No. I wanted to go since you were unable to, but I couldn't go on my own. So I asked Aizen-dono if he would come with me. He brought Ichimaru-san along." She held her hands up, as if for mercy. "I didn't know about your suspicion then."_

"_It's not a suspicion, it's the truth."_

_Ichimaru seemed interested now. "Suspicion about what?"_

"_Hitsugaya-kun thinks that Aizen-dono killed his parents."_

"_Are his parents the ones that were buried?"_

"_Yeah."_

_The silver-haired man turned to me. "What makes you think he did it?"_

"_I saw him. He said a bunch of stuff to me, too. I know it was him." An interesting look appeared on Ichimaru's face as his eyes opened to reveal bright blue hues._

"_Well, I haven't seen Aizen-sama since Tuesday night, after the funeral."_

_The look on Hinamori's face showed disbelief and horror. Then it shifted to anger. "But if he did it, why would he still have been around after they were dead? He took me to see Hitsugaya-kun every day, and...and...He couldn't have done it. He wouldn't have."_

"_What day did that happen, again? The murder itself, I mean."_

"_Two weeks ago, Friday the thirteenth." Matsumoto finally joined the conversation._

"_In the evening, right?"_

"_Yes."_

"_I didn't see him much that evening, actually. He left here at around five, and only returned some time after nine."_

_I looked at Hinamori, who appeared to be close to tears. What I wanted to say was, 'There's your proof. I told you so,' but rubbing the salt in her wound wouldn't be a smart idea. Instead, I decided to do what I felt was best for all of us. "Let's get out of here. If Aizen isn't here, then I've lost interest."_

"_What about Gin?" Matsumoto asked, grabbing my wrist. "Are we going to just leave him here? He's like a sitting duck if Aizen decides to come after him."_

"_That's his problem."_

"_But, he's just like a lost puppy! I want to take him home!"_

"_Actually, he looks more like a fox that has just got its prey where it wants it." I muttered under my breath. "But I don't really care what you do."_

"_Yay~!" She hugged me tightly, apparently forgetting that I had only just been released from the hospital. When I flinched and tried to pull away (both from the pain in my chest and not being able to breathe very well with the suffocation induced by her...assets), she remembered and released me. She spoke to Ichimaru a bit, and he said he didn't mind going with her. As he moved about the room to gather his things together, I recalled the reason we had come upstairs in the first place._

"_Hey, Ichimaru, how long are you going to wear those damn things?" I asked, pointing at his feet._

"_Why, ya don't like 'em?"_

"_They're annoying as hell."_

"_Thank ya! I 'ave bunches of other pairs, as well! There's a cat version, a dog, a chicken, a horse, a sheep, a cow, a pig—"_

"_I don't care!" I yelled, cutting him off. "I'm leaving now. I'll see you around, Matsumoto."_

"_What, you're not going to stick around?" Matsumoto pouted as she grabbed my good shoulder._

"_As much as I feel I should, I can't. One more minute with this quack—Ichimaru—and I'm going to go clinically insane."_

"_Well then, I guess I'll be going, too. I'll see the both of you in school tomorrow." Hinamori addressed the other two, and I remained quiet, despite my surprise when I realized that this man was in the school._

~Currently~

Eventually, Hinamori and I returned to the mansion, after which we both shut ourselves up in our own rooms in order to think in absolute peace.

Aizen had to be the one from that night. I saw him personally, he was missing currently, and, as far as I knew, he had no alibi for that night. The only things still missing were a motive and physical evidence. As far as motive, the only thing I had to go by was what he said that night, something about wanting the world to end. But if that was so, then why had he left me alive?

That question had been plaguing my mind for hours, and I wanted an answer. A full explanation of why he was doing what he was. Stringing Hinamori along, trying to do the same to me, killing my parents, nearly killing me, taking Hinamori to see me, even though it was his fault I was there, and then having the nerve to go to my parents' funeral.

Maybe he was having second thoughts? No, that's not right. Why would he have gone into hiding if he felt bad about what he did? Pity, then? For Hinamori? For me?

Nothing was adding up, and it wasn't like I could go and discuss it with anyone. Hinamori would refuse to listen, Matsumoto wouldn't understand, and Ichimaru was absolutely out of the question. I had considered, however fleeting it was, going back to the police, but that would have been more of a hassle than it was worth.

I was alone in my struggles.

_If only I hadn't blacked out when he was talking. If only I'd heard that last part of what he was saying where he said about something he needs. Is leaving me alive going to give him this thing? Am _I_ this thing? But I can't be. No, there must be something else. I'll just have to figure it out before he obtains it._

After I declared myself finished with my meal (I ate alone in the dining room, long after Hinamori had eaten), I went right back up to my room. The combined efforts of the day's events and my still-healing injury had made me tired, and I just wanted to sleep and have a break, however brief, from everything. Especially my own mind.

My 'freedom' wasn't meant to be. No sooner had I gotten settled under the thick blankets of my bed, there came a knock at my door.

I didn't want to get back up, and I didn't. Instead, I merely called out and gave my permission to enter the room.

As I had expected, it was Hinamori.

"What is it?" I inquired as she closed the door behind herself.

"I need to know. Did you really see Aizen-dono that night at your house?" Her voice was laced with emotion that she was trying to hold back, and I wished that I could just lie and make her happy.

But then I'd be no better than him.

"Yes, I did." I replied firmly and seriously.

She was silent for a while, then said quietly, "I just...I still can't believe it, but I guess I have to. Both you and Ichimaru-san provided details that could place him at the scene."

"You don't _have_ to believe anything, Hinamori. It would be wise to, in this case, but no one is forcing you."

Again, she was silent, but this time she approached my bed slowly, sitting down on the corner near my feet. "I don't know what to think anymore. My gut and my heart are at odds, within themselves and with each other. One side screams that you're the one that's right, and the other urges me to stay on Aizen-dono's side."

"Why don't you try taking the side that feels right?"

"That's just it! They both feel equally right!"

_Thanks, Hinamori,_ I thought sarcastically. "I don't know what to tell you, then. Maybe you should sleep on it and try to come to a conclusion. If you absolutely can't pick sides, then don't. It's alright if you remain neutral."

"Are you sure?"

_Hell no._ "Yeah. You're quite capable of thinking on your own, correct?" She nodded. "Then do that. Don't rush to make a decision because someone urges it, and definitely don't base your decisions on what people say, do and think."

"Alright, Hitsugaya-kun. I'll try to do that. Thank you."

"It's no problem."

She kissed me on the forehead, hesitated, and then left quickly. Not too long after that, I had fallen asleep.

The next morning brought with it the beginning of a new school week, and Hinamori had left for school before I had awakened. I hated knowing that the suspicious form of Ichimaru was right there in the same building as my friends, but I tried hard not to think about it.

_I'll go back tomorrow,_ I concluded. There was no point in my staying away from the school any longer, even though I desired it so.

I didn't get out of bed right away, as I was trying to think of something to do for the day. I was sick of just sitting around and doing nothing, and catching up on the schoolwork I missed wouldn't take me too long. Somehow, the idea of visiting the family burial plot in Rukongai came to mind, and I decided that maybe it wasn't such a bad idea. I got dressed just after that and wrote a note for Hinamori, and then pinned it to her door.

'_Hinamori,_

_I've gone to Rukongai for the day, because there's something I need to do. I don't know what time I'll be back, but if I'm not back by morning, you can panic. Don't worry about me. I'm not going to do anything stupid or rash. It's just something simple. If I have to, I'll explain later. I'll see you soon,_

_Hitsugaya_'

After the note was set up, I snuck out of the house (without breakfast) to see if I could find a bus station of some sort. I found one out by the park, but I had to wait almost twenty minutes for a bus to Rukongai came along. When it got there, I boarded and paid the fee, then took a seat near the back. It would be a while until we reached the stop I intended to get off at in Rukongai, so I had lots of time in which to do nothing.

I stared out the window and watched as the scenery blurred into streams of colour, then became buildings and trees when we stopped, and went back to colour when we were moving again. I was so engulfed in this cycle that I quite nearly missed my stop.

When I finally got off the bus, I was greeted by the familiar sights of my hometown. I lingered on the street far longer than necessary, but eventually set off toward my destination. I almost couldn't remember how to get there, but it seemed that my feet had a mind of their own. They led me through old neighbourhoods I used to play in, past the middle school I had never gone to, and even past the apartment building my family lived in for six years.

I wondered all of a sudden what kind of people lived in apartment 201 now.

I continued on, freezing up when the gates of the graveyard came into my line of sight. It looked the same as it always had, when I would pass it on my way to school, or when I would visit after Natsume-neechan died. Hesitantly, I pushed the old wooden door open and scanned the area, locating the plot I was looking for in a matter of seconds.

I was more than surprised when I saw the two people standing in front of it. Familiar figures, actually.

The closer I got, the more I knew that I definitely knew them from somewhere. One was a blond and the other had darker hair, but I could see neither person's face. Despite that, I had an idea of who they were, and, in turn, where I had seen them before.

"Kira? Hisagi?" I called out when I was about two metres behind them, and they turned around, slightly startled.

"Hitsugaya-san?" "Hitsugaya?"

_So it _is_ them._ "What are you guys doing here?"

"We came to pay our respects to your parents." Kira said, glancing back at the plot.

Hisagi tilted his head as he gazed at me. "Actually, what are _you_ doing here, Hitsugaya? I mean, I know it's your family's plot so you can visit whenever you please, but we thought you were still in the hospital."

"I got released Saturday afternoon."

"Where are you staying?" Kira asked.

"I'm staying with...a _friend_ in Seireitei. I don't know of any relatives I have, and no one can seem to find any." I glanced at the plot beyond my old friends, wondering if I could somehow find a clue there. "But this is only temporary. I have two weeks to find a blood relative, or else I'll probably end up in foster care or something."

"Oh wow, that really sucks."

"Yeah, but what can I do? Neither of my parents ever spoke about their families, and most of the people at Natsume-neechan's funeral were her or my friends."

"It was the same at your parents' funeral. There was a load of people I didn't recognise, but when the priest went up and asked for a relative to speak, no one stepped forward."

Kira gave a sudden short laugh, as if remembering something. "There were some strange looking people there. This creepy-looking, silver-haired guy wearing a duck hat, a blonde with an abnormally sized chest—"

"Hey, that chick was hot!"

The two argued back and forth for a bit, and I easily deduced the trio they were speaking of. _I guess duck-brain really did go. Not that I though Hinamori was lying, but...And he wore a duck hat to a funeral?_

Kira suddenly looked back to me. "Do you know those three? They appeared to be around our age, but I've never seen them around before."

"The girls go to school with me. Actually, I guess the guy with silver hair does now, too." The jaws of the two males before me dropped. "What?"

"You never told us that you go to school with such babes!"

"I haven't told you much of anything for the past five years."

"That may be true, but I would think you'd have told us about any cute girls you see in your school." Hisagi seemed resentful.

"Or schools." Kira added quickly.

"Look, if I called you two every time I saw a cute girl—by your standards—walk past me, I would never be off the phone." With the looks they gave me then, I was sure their heads were going to explode.

"That's not fair! I wanna move around and meet chicks, too!" Hisagi whined.

"You should know better than anyone that I don't move around for that reason."

"Maybe you do, though. What if your sister was looking out for you all those years ago, and was trying to help you get a girlfriend in every town from here to Tokyo?"

"H-Hisagi-sempai, I don't think—"

"I have no need for that many girlfriends. One is fine enough."

"By saying that, you make it sound as if you currently have one."

"Yeah, I do have one. If you must know, that's the person I'm staying with."

Hisagi grinned. "So, was it the blonde or the brunette?"

"What makes you think it was either of those two?" I glanced back at the grave, having not forgotten why I was there.

Kira must have caught my gaze, or knew that Hisagi was never going to give up, for he suddenly grabbed Hisagi's jacket sleeve. "We'd better get going, Hisagi-sempai."

"What? But I haven't even—"

"C'mon, let's go." Kira began pulling Hisagi away, waving back at me with his free hand.

"I'll see you guys around!" I called, and after they were out of the graveyard and the gate had been closed again, I stepped up to my family's plot with it's neatly carved names numbering two more since last I'd seen. I kneeled down, lit the incense and placed my hands together.

_It's been such a long time since I've been here. Too long, I'm afraid. Excuses are unnecessary._

_I'm here now because I wish to make a vow to my parents._

_A vow to find Aizen—your killer—and kill him. He may not have had a motive to do what he did, but I sure as hell have a reason to come after him._

_Okaa-san, Otou-san, I swear to you: I'll get revenge. Your deaths shall be avenged; I'll see to that personally. I chose to come back to this world for that purpose, and I will keep my word._

_...I'm sorry. If I had been home, maybe I could have saved you. If I hadn't told Aizen a lie and told him that you two were 'coming home' on that night, maybe he never would have come after you._

_This is all my fault..._

I bowed my head, said a short prayer for my sister, then parted my hands, still sitting there on my knees. A small part of me wanted to cry, but my inner rage quite easily overpowered that sadness.

As I left the graveyard a while later, I saw that it was already after one. Hinamori would get out of school at three, which gave me almost two more hours to do what I wanted. With that time, I decided to wander around the city, and I ran into old classmates here and there (apparently, it was an in-service day and they didn't have school). Most of them had also heard about my parents and offered their condolences, but those who didn't know just talked to me about the old days (ha, we felt like old people). I ran into one of my sister's old friends, Tia Harribel, with whom I reminisced about Natsume-neechan for a near half hour.

It felt strange to be pitied by so many people I hadn't seen in five years, but it was nice to be back at 'home' where most of my life's memories were contained.

Thus, I lost track of time.

At around 18.45, I boarded another bus to get back to Seireitei, and I was standing outside of Hinamori's mansion at 19.34. Taking a deep breath, I stepped up to the front door, but before I could even knock, the door was pulled open swiftly. I looked through the doorframe to see Hinamori standing there, appearing to be a bit on the panicked side.

"Hitsugaya-kun! Where've you been all day?" She demanded, shaking.

"Didn't you see my letter? I left it on your door." I entered the house and closed the front door behind me.

She held up the letter in question. "You mean _this_ letter? The one that doesn't leave me any way to contact you and tells me _not_ to _panic_?"

"Yeah. I wrote _exactly_ where I was going, and there _was_ no way to reach me. I don't have a cell phone, you know."

"You could have asked someone _with_ a cell phone to take you."

"No. I had to go alone."

"Where _did_ you go? I know you went to Rukongai, but for what purpose?" Hinamori asked, but it seemed as if she already knew what the answer was going to be.

"...I went to visit my family's burial plot." I watched her eyes, which went from panic and anger to pity and sorrow. I felt bad and decided to lighten the mood a bit. "I also got to catch up with a few of my old friends from primary school, although that was by accident more than anything."

"That's right. I guess you grew up in that city, didn't you?"

"Yeah. I was born in a local clinic there, and we moved into an apartment building when I was four."

"And then after your sister died..."

"When Natsume-neechan died, we moved, and we haven't stayed anywhere for more than a year."

"Wow. You _have_ moved around a lot, huh? Me, I've been here for my entire life. I've never moved, and I rarely get to travel."

"It's not fun to constantly change schools. New town, new people, new school, and so on. And then a few months later I'm out of there and get to do it all over again."

She looked surprised. "I never thought of it like that. I guess you have so many things to keep track of."

"I suppose it's not as hard lately. I'm getting used to it." I couldn't help but to look down. "Although it appears that I won't be in the area much longer. Whether I find relatives or not, I'll likely be out of here before I know it. I mean, I can't think of a single relative on either side of my family. Neither of my parents had siblings, and I know for sure that my grandparents are dead."

"I wouldn't even know where to start looking." Hinamori sighed, apparently having forgotten her earlier annoyance with me.

"Me neither." I yawned and stretched. "Anyway, it's kind of late, and I have quite a pile of work waiting for me so I can catch up for school tomorrow."

"You're coming back to school tomorrow?" She sounded surprised now, but I guess I should have expected it.

"Yeah. There's no use delaying the inevitable." I started up the stairs, Hinamori trailing along behind me.

"Do you need my books, or want me to show you how far we got in the lessons?"

"Nah, my books are in my room, and I can estimate where we got to."

"Oh. Okay." She sounded disappointed, though her expression didn't show it for long. "Then I won't keep you any longer."

I nodded and went off to my room, closing the door tightly behind me. I dug into my backpack and pulled out a stack of textbooks. I glared daggers at them, but when they didn't appear to be intimidated in the least, I shrugged my shoulders in defeat and opened the first one. I tried to stall finding the chapter we had been on, but my body betrayed me by flipping to the page easily.

It seemed like hours (I guess it really was) before I was caught up with everything. My head swimming with new information, I replaced the books where I got them from and sat back on my feet. I sighed, then looked up at the clock. It was 22.18, so Hinamori was probably sleeping, the maids as well. I paced around the room for a while, then went off into the hallway, finding a rather unexpected sight.

"Hinamori?" I nudged my sleeping friend with my foot, and she stirred slightly, then jolted upward.

"What? Where am I?"

"You were sleeping on the floor here outside my door, Sleepyhead."

She blinked a few times. "Why would I have been..." Her voice trailed off as realization showed in her eyes. "Oh, I remember now. I came over here at around 21.30, but I wasn't sure if you were still working or not, and I didn't want to disturb you. So I sat down and decided to wait for you."

"Wait for me?" It was my turn to be confused. "How could you even be sure I would leave my room again tonight?"

"I know you well enough to know that you wouldn't be in there all night."

"So what did you want?"

"Eh?"

"If you came over here so late at night, there had to be a reason, right?"

"Oh. Yeah." She laughed nervously, then hugged me lightly. "Can I sleep in your room tonight? Since you were gone all day, I guess I'm suffering from withdrawal."

A tug at the corner of my mouth told me I was smirking. "Of course you can sleep with me."

"D-don't say it like that! You make it sound dirty!" Hinamori was blushing madly, and I couldn't help laughing.

"Come on, come on." I pulled her into my room, shutting the door behind us. "Besides, it's not like we've never done it before." I whispered in her ear once we were closed off from the rest of the house.

"Yeah, I know that. I just...It feels strange to have done it at so young an age."

"I suppose so." I yawned and looked longingly at my bed.

"Are you tired?"

"Yeah, pretty much. Do you mind if we go to sleep right now?"

"No, that'll be fine. I'm rather tired myself."

"Of course you are. You were sleeping in the hall."

She stuck her tongue out at me, then we crawled into my bed, falling asleep shortly.

And then my nightmare began once more.

I said before that I stopped paying attention to it, but that was because it was always the same. This time around, it was almost as if it couldn't be classified in the same category as the others. It began the same, got to the part where I backed against a wall, then kept going. Something silver was thrown at me, and even though I didn't dodge it, it missed hitting me.

The figure that threw it picked up one of the blurry forms from the floor, and I realized that the former was talking again. As with all of the other conversations during this nightmare, I couldn't understand anything.

Apparently, though, he must have said something that infuriated me, because I suddenly felt anger coursing through my veins. I picked up the shiny, silver object (I determined that it was a sword of some sort), then was running forward once more. One of the figures steps to the side when I'm less than a metre away, and I felt the sword sink itself into the form that remained still. As panic took over for anger, the bigger form appeared again. Despite everything being so blurry, I could see its grin quite clearly as it reached down for something.

I felt a grip on my arm and tried to shake it off, but then everything went from the blurry dream, to crimson, and then to black. It took me a few minutes to realize that my eyes were shut, but even after I opened them, it was still rather dark. Eventually, my eyes adjusted and I saw Hinamori leaning over me, looking down at me in concern.

"Are you awake, Hitsugaya-kun?" She asked shakily.

"Y-Yeah. Did I wake you?"

"Only a few minutes ago. Were you having a nightmare?"

"You could say that."

"What, would you call it something different?"

"No, but I'm not sure if it _is_ a nightmare."

"You can't tell?"

"Not really. Every time I have this 'dream,' everything I see is blurry, and I can never figure out what's going on."

"That's odd. And you've even had this dream more than once?"

"I've probably dreamed this thing almost every night since I started school here. But it keeps changing, showing me more and more, and yet never allowing me to _actually_ _see_ what it shows me."

"Maybe it's trying to tell you something."

"I've thought of that before, but I can't make anything of it. I've given up on trying to analyze it."

"Why don't you write it all out for me, everything you experience it the dream, and I'll see if I can pull something out of it?"

"Nah, it's alright. I'll find a way to deal with it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, don't worry about it. I'm sure it's nothing. Anyway, we have to get back up in three hours, so we'd better get back to sleep."

"So you haven't changed your mind about coming back?"

"No. Why, did you think I would?"

"Well, not exactly. Anyway, I'm glad." She smiled, wrapped her arms around my chest and kissed me. I, of course, only felt the painful pressure this placed on a particular injury that was still there.

So I winced.

Hinamori drew back quickly. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Hitsugaya-kun! I completely forgot about that."

"It's fine. I almost forgot about it, myself."

This time, she gently laid her arm across my torso, and we fell back asleep like that.

The next morning was more than a bit chaotic. Even with the alarm going off at the right time, we both overslept by half an hour, leaving us only twenty minutes to get ready, have breakfast and get to school. I _had_ intended to take a shower, but there was no way that was going to happen. Instead, I just grabbed a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, some socks, and dressed quickly. I slung my heavy backpack over my uninjured left shoulder and went downstairs.

Hinamori had not yet come down, so I circled a few rooms until she was ready. We said goodbye to the maids, then practically ran the whole way to the school. We would have sprinted, but then I would have had to put the backpack on my other shoulder as well to balance the weight, and that might have rubbed harshly against the scar and open it.

I cringed at the thought and hurried along.

We made it on time. Not by much, but we got there with about three minutes to get to our lockers and then to homeroom before we were considered late. We rushed ourselves again, managing to get into the classroom just as the bell was ringing. Everyone in the room was looking at us as if we were creatures they would see in a zoo. But then I realized that it wasn't 'us.'

It was me. _I_ was the curiosity, the object of both pity and fear.

My entire day carried on like that. Everywhere I went, it seemed as if all eyes were on me. By lunch, I was lingering on the brink of paranoia, half-expecting everyone to close in and ask me all sorts of questions. A few did, actually, but they stopped approaching me once Ichimaru sat down with his bright yellow duck hoodie on.

I wanted to slap him. This feeling was only increased in gym class, when the outfit he changed into was practically a duck _costume_.

I began to wonder what his part was in whatever it was that Aizen was planning, because unless it involved ducks, I couldn't see him being of much use. But then I had to readjust my thoughts. If Aizen could fool everyone into thinking that he was such a great man, who was I to say that Ichimaru wasn't _pretending_ to be a duck-obsessed moron?

Although, if he was pretending, he was doing a damn good job of it.

Those ideas continued to plague my mind as Hinamori, Matsumoto, Ichimaru and I walked home at the end of the day. When we split into two pairs, I kept a careful eye on Ichimaru as he and Matsumoto went their own way, and Hinamori and I went ours. There really was something that told me that I couldn't trust him, and it wasn't an instinct I wasn't easily going to ignore.

A while after Hinamori got into her house, Hinamori's private phone line was called. I glanced up from where we were studying, and Hinamori jumped up to get it. She let out a gasp as she looked at the caller ID, grabbed the phone off the hook and dashed out into the hallway, closing the door behind herself.

Time ticked by, and she still hadn't come back in. I resisted the urge to step up to the door and listen in, even though there was a chance that the caller was Aizen. I trusted Hinamori enough to believe that she'd tell me when she got off the phone whether it was him or not, because I knew she was finally beginning to doubt him.

About ten minutes later, the door opened and she came back in, _looking_ positively elated.

"What is it?" I asked when she didn't say anything right away. "Who called?"

"It was my father." She tried to make her voice sound happy, but the quivering I heard in it betrayed her.

"Okay, so what did he want?"

Hinamori, rather than replying, cradled the phone and sat back down. I tilted my head to the side, but didn't press for and answer.

Finally, she spoke. "He's coming home..." She paused while closing her book and biting her lip. "Tonight."

* * *

So, what's Hinamori's father going to say?

As a warning, the next chapter will be long. Like, uber long. It's already five pages in my notebook, and I don't think it's even halfway done yet. And I can't split it anywhere. So beware.

Reviews and suggestions are welcome~!

Oh, I forgot to mention, I made a Facebook page for myself. Just search for my username (Kouzumi93) and you can like the page. I'll update with the status of chapters and such.


	12. Sekai wa Sude ni Azamuki no Ue ni

Things really are going to pick up speed in this chapter, since the next one coming is finally the end. I hope you all will stick with me through these final two entries, and to those who have followed this from the beginning, I thank you. -bows-

Enjoy this [hella] long chapter~!

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. Chapter title belongs to...is sung by Yusa Koji, Ichimaru Gin's seiyu.

My Own Worst Nightmare

By Kouzumi93

Chapter 11: Sekai wa Sude ni Azamuki no Ue ni

(The World Already Exists Above Deceit)

_Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit—_I paced back and forth in the lobby, nervously anticipating the arrival of Hinamori's father.

"Would you stop doing that and sit down already? You're making _me_ nervous!" Hinamori grabbed my arm when I passed her for the umpteenth time and pulled me down into the open spot next to her on the loveseat. "My father is going to be here any minute now, and if the first thing he sees upon entering the house is you walking back and forth in front of me like that, this will probably not be a pleasant visit."

"Yeah, I get that, but I can't just sit here and act as if everything is fine and that nothing will go wrong here."

"Yes, something is bound to go wrong somewhere, but you can't go on acting like _everything_ will." She insisted, although I couldn't exactly agree with her there. I didn't want to argue, so I instead tried to be patient. I tried to enter her candy-coated world where no one had a hidden agenda; where everyone got along and nothing bad ever happened.

But, it was hard to enter a world like that when my rose-tinted glasses had already been shattered, the pieces swept and thrown away.

Suddenly, the door was opened by Mey-Rin, and a tall, dark-haired man entered the house.

"Otou-san!" Hinamori jumped off the bench and ran into the open, waiting arms of her father. I stood as well, but stayed a few paces behind her so as not to interfere with their reunion.

"Momo, it's been a while, hasn't it? Say, have you gotten taller, by any chance?" He placed a hand on her head, and she beamed.

"I have! I'm now a little bit over one hundred and fifty centimetres tall!"

"That's my girl!" He ruffled her hair, then finally appeared to notice me. "Oh? Who's this?"

Before I could reply, Hinamori did it for me. "Otou-san, this is Hitsugaya Toushiro-kun, a friend from school. He'll be staying here for a little while."

"Staying here?" Something in his eyes while he said that made me nervous. He couldn't be another 'Aizen,' could he? "That's fine by me, but might I ask what it's for?"

"I—it's a long story." I responded, lowering my gaze to the floor.

"Well, if you're going to be here for a while, there'll be time to talk." He turned away from me and looked back to Hinamori, who looked upon us slightly worried. "Have you two eaten dinner yet?"

"No, not yet. We were doing homework when you called, and we only finished it a bit ago."

"I see. Well then, we'll chat over a meal. How about it, Toushiro-san?"

I glanced at Hinamori, who nodded, before replying. "Yeah, sure. That'll be fine."

"Good. Then I guess I'll see the both of you at the table, just after I unpack." He clapped his hand down on my injured right shoulder, causing me to wince visibly. He apparently didn't notice. "It was nice to meet you, Toushiro-san. My name is Hikaru, by the way." He called the last part down to me as he started up the stairs, followed closely by the ever-clumsy Mey-Rin, who was carrying his luggage.

"This is not going to end well." I muttered under my breath, referring to both Mey-Rin and the impending dinner conversation.

.*.*.*.

"So, what's your story? You're not in any legal trouble, are you?" Asked Hinamori's father immediately after we all had been seated and the food set out.

"No, sir. I mean, not that I'm aware of." I said, honestly not sure what my parents' financial status had been. I was sure that with as many times we had moved over the years, they had either been filthy rich, or in debt up to their eyebrows.

"That's good to hear. But if you ever do get into trouble with the law, I know some excellent lawyers who could help you out."

"No, that's alright." _I don't want to have to owe you more than I already do,_ I thought to myself.

Hinamori spoke then in an attempt to make the conversation less awkward for all of us, as well as to speed up the actual purpose of the conversation. "Otou-san, Hitsugaya-kun has to look for family relatives, but we aren't sure where to start the search. Do you have any ideas?"

"Well, you could talk to your parents and see how far back they can trace their bloodlines, and how far out." He said thoughtfully.

"That's not exactly possible." I poked at the food on my plate, my appetite rapidly fading with memories threatening to spill from the dam I had so tediously worked on rebuilding in my mind.

"What, have you asked them already?" Hinamori and I exchanged glances, then dropped our gazes to the table. "What?"

"Er, you see..." I trailed off. The dam was most definitely being broken.

"They're not...They're not _dead_, are they?"

I nodded slowly, keeping my eyes locked on the unused spoon next to my plate.

"Oh my, I'm terribly sorry."

"...That's why I'm looking for relatives. If I can't find anyone within the next two weeks, it's probable that I'll end up in Child Services."

"That's horrible. And you don't have any aunts or uncles?"

"No. Both of my parents were without siblings."

"Grandparents?"

"As far as I know, they're all dead."

"Older siblings that have moved out?" He asked in a manner that made me feel as if he was already aware of the answer, and merely wanted to see my reaction.

My reaction, of course, managed to be masked. "I had an older sister, but she died a few years ago." Another crack in the dam. Memories were flowing out by this point, though it was just a trickle.

"Hmm, it seems as if you really _don't_ have anyone." He set his fork down, propped his elbows up on the table, and folded his hands together. "Well, I have connections everywhere. I'll talk to some people and see if we can't track _someone_ down."

"You don't have to do that, sir."

"Please, call me Hikaru. And I may not have to, but it's not a bother to me. I enjoy helping people, and if you just so happen to be a friend of my daughter, then that's just a bonus."

"Well, then, thank you very much, si—Hikaru." I corrected myself and inclined my head, truly grateful that he was so willing to help me out. "I don't know how I could ever repay you."

"That's not necessary. The last place any child wants to be after their parents die is with strangers. Well, I guess blood relatives you've never met would be strangers, too, but you get my point, I hope."

"Yes. I suppose it would be better to be with someone I'm related to and can share this loss with, rather than someone else. Er, not that there's anything wrong with staying here, except that I'm nothing but a burden."

"You're not a burden, Hitsugaya-kun." Hinamori protested. "It's nice having someone else my age around here all of the time."

"Speaking of having someone around, have you heard from Sousuke recently, Momo?" Hikaru asked.

Hinamori froze in her movements, and I think I saw her shudder slightly. "Not for a little while, Otou-san."

"Can you think of a specific day that you spoke to him? I tried calling him on the evening of the thirteenth, and the morning of the seventeenth and twentieth, but he's never answered the phone."

"The last I heard from him was the nineteenth. He was at a funeral on the seventeenth, but I'm not sure what he was doing on the thirteenth."

I made it a point to keep my mouth shut for that exchange. Even as strongly as I hated—still hate—Aizen, I couldn't bring myself to reveal him to his good friend and colleague. If I did say something and Hikaru managed to get in touch with Aizen, then Aizen would know, or at least have an idea, that I was out for his blood.

"Well, I'm done eating. I'm still a bit weary from travelling, so if either of you need me, I'll be in my room." Hikaru dabbed the corners of his mouth with the edge of a napkin, then rose to his full height of one hundred and eighty-three centimetres.

"Alright, Otou-san."

"Good night, Hikaru. Thank you again!" I called as he left the room.

After that, there was an awkward silence that neither I nor Hinamori could successfully break. We ended up finishing our meal in silence, but as I was leaving the table, she grabbed my arm suddenly.

"What is it?" I asked quietly.

"Will you take a walk with me? Not far, just out by the pool."

"Er, yeah, sure."

"Alright. Follow me."

Hinamori led us through a short series of corridors that I hadn't noticed before, and soon we were standing outside, gazing at the beautifully lit pool that was hidden from view on the street. We began to walk around it without saying anything, but once we were a good enough distance from the house that we wouldn't be overheard, Hinamori spoke again.

"Don't tell my father about Aizen-dono. Even if it _is_ true, what you said you saw, I don't want to ruin their friendship."

"I had no intentions of telling him. I'm not the kind of idiot who forgets or ignores the feelings of other people."

"Even so, just make sure he doesn't find out. Otou-san and Aizen-dono have been good friends since they were kids."

"I'll _try_ to keep the truth from him, but it's only a matter of time before our veil of lies is discovered and lifted." I smirked slightly then. "But I'll make absolute sure that he doesn't find out about our relationship. He'll toss me into Foster Care personally, as well as forbid us from ever seeing each other again."

"I don't know if he'd be _that_ hard on us, but he certainly would be angry." She laughed. I wanted nothing more than to kiss her, but I couldn't be sure if we were at a place where no one would see us. There were windows everywhere on the house, so we _could_ have been seen if someone just looked out, but there wasn't necessarily anyone in the windows. All the same, someone could have been there.

Best not to take _that_ risk.

"You never know. When it comes to daughters, fathers can be pretty strict and protective." I smiled, but then allowed a more serious countenance to settle on my face. "Hinamori, you didn't bring me all the way out here just to talk about Aizen and your father, did you?"

She looked anxious all of a sudden, and began wringing her hands together. "No..." She paused, contemplating how to start. "Hitsugaya-kun, I think I—"

"Hinamori-sama, there's a phone call for you!" Sakura called from a back door, holding out a cordless phone toward us. "It's Matsumoto Rangiku-san!"

"I guess I have to take this, Hitsugaya-kun." She said, appearing slightly troubled and relieved at the same time. "I'll be right there!" She yelled back to the maid, then started back to the house.

I joined her and kept her pace until we reached the door. "We can talk later, Hinamori." I said as she was handed the receiver. She nodded to me and I went up the stairs, lost in thought as usual.

_What was Hinamori going to say? If she couldn't say it here in the house, then it's not likely she'll be able to tell me at school or on the walk to or from there as well. It's evident that she doesn't want anyone else to overhear her or me, but what could be so personal that no one else is allowed to hear it?_

A few ideas came to my mind, but I shook my head and ruled them out. None of them were the least bit plausible.

Eventually, I dozed off and wound up in the same horrible segment of my nightmare from the night before. I consciously tried to see everything clearly, to hear more, but it seemed that the harder I tried, the worse it became. Again, I awoke where the person grins and reaches for something, but it wasn't Hinamori that woke me this time around. In fact, it was nothing in the physical world that aroused me; rather it was as if the dream itself had kicked me out. As if my mind already knew what was going to happen and didn't want me to see it.

After I woke up, it was still the middle of the night, and the nightmare had made me feel as if I hadn't slept in a week. That being said, I decided to risk having the nightmare once more for that chance at a normal, undisturbed sleep for the first time in a very long time. The peaceful rest never came, but the morning soon did, and with it, school.

School on the day of the twenty-fifth was pretty uneventful, although it was strangely quiet and laid back, unlike the usual boisterousness that was a part of the daily routine. I didn't understand it. Maybe I was just imagining things, I don't know, but it definitely felt as if the 'mute' button had been pressed for most of the student population. Teachers, too, were abnormal, making their lessons short and easy, and the lectures long and boring. Their voices droned on and on, pretending that they retained the class's full attention.

I couldn't keep my attention focused on their lessons. In a number of my classes, I was in possession of a window seat at the back of the classroom, which enabled me to stare off out the window, daydream, and think without being noticed.

_Aizen is out there somewhere_, I thought as I was doing such a thing during one class. _I don't know where he is, or what he's doing, but I know he's out of my reach right now. Some place where I can't get to him._ This idea frustrated me, but try as I might, I could never come up with a decent plan to weed him out. He knew so much about me, but I still knew next to nothing of him. There wasn't even a way I could try to obtain information, lest I _want_ to look suspicious.

Talking with Hinamori Hikaru wouldn't be an option, nor much help, even though he had known Aizen for years. As far back as it seemed as if Aizen was plotting everything, it was quite possible that he has been faking a personality for most of his life. Because, really, who would expect that someone so nice could do something so atrocious?

Actually. that's exactly where I went wrong when I met him. Hinamori too, though she hadn't quite gotten over it yet. But what would either of us have known?

Though the school day was boring and uneventful, as I said, I did have to stop over at Kurosaki Isshin's home immediately after school that afternoon for a brief check-up on my injury. Hinamori walked me over to the clinic, then went up to her place, since we were just a few blocks away. Kurosaki's house was a yellow family-sized home with a built-in clinic, and was located on Elm Street. I came to the conclusion that Kurosaki-san ran the clinic as a side job, since I assumed he worked at the hospital full-time.

As soon as I knocked on the door, the goat-chinned man opened it to greet me.

"Good afternoon, Hitsugaya-san. How are you doing?" He ushered me into the house, then into an examining room off to the right.

"That's what I'm here to find out, right?"

"Yes, yes. How does it feel?"

"It's alright, I suppose. It hasn't been giving me too much trouble recently. I've been trying to keep from stressing it too much, but that's a bit difficult in high school life." I sat down on the examination table in the middle of the room, set my backpack to one side of said table, and then began removing my shirt.

"You should keep sure to not strain it at all. The stitches and staples are holding it closed, but it's still rather fragile." He took one look at my exposed chest and sighed. "So you took off the bandages already, eh?"

"Er, yeah. I took them off a few days ago to take a shower, and I haven't gotten around to putting a new set on yet."

"You didn't get to it, or you didn't feel like asking anyone for help?" He asked as he poked and prodded at several places along my torso.

"Both." I replied, wincing as he pressed a particularly tender spot near my shoulder blade.

"It could get infected if you're not careful, and right now, it looks like it's on the verge of getting there. I'm going to put some peroxide on it to keep it from getting any worse, but you'll have to keep bandages on it this time." He opened up a cabinet on the other side of the room and pulled out a bottle of peroxide. "This is going to hurt for a while, so you might want to lie on your side."

I complied as he poured the liquid on a cloth. Even though I expected some pain, I was nowhere near prepared for the amount that came. White hot pain crawled across my back and chest, so intense that I felt like my skin was being seared off. I bit my lip tightly to hold back my shouts of pain, kept my eyes squeezed shut to contain the tears. Kurosaki-san was saying something, but my head was spinning and I didn't understand him.

When I thought the pain had subsided enough, I tried to sit up, but the pain shot through my body again, and I was forced to remain lying down.

It was in this condition that Kuchiki Rukia found me.

I'd had my eyes closed when I heard someone enter the room. Assuming it was just Kurosaki Isshin coming to check on me, I allowed my eyes to remain closed, leaving myself in the [literal] dark.

"That looks pretty painful." Said a voice I didn't quite recognise. I opened my eyes, only to be met with questioning purple hues. "Is it?"

"Yeah, pretty much." I didn't bother trying to sit up, as I knew I would only meet with pain, as I had every other time. "Who are you?"

"I'm Kuchiki Rukia."

_Kuchiki?_ "Are you related to the Kuchiki-sensei that teaches at Seireitei Academy?"

"Yes, that's my brother. So you go to school there, then?"

"Yeah. Do you? I've never seen you around before."

"I do attend the school, but I seem to not stick out very much."

"Maybe that's a good thing. Not sticking out, I mean. You can avoid unwanted attention."

The small black-haired girl shrugged. "I guess."

"...I'm Hitsugaya Toushiro, by the way."

"I know who you are."

"Because _that's_ not creepy."

"Well, with all of that stuff all over the news the other week, it's hard to _not_ know who you are."

"Wait, so if you knew who I was, then why'd you ask me if I go to Seireitei Academy?"

"I was trying to make small talk to start a conversation."

I felt my eye twitch. "You played dumb just to talk to me?"

She smirked. "You could say that."

"Was there something specific that you wanted to talk with me about, or are you just here to bother me while I can't move very much?"

"There are a few things I'd _like_ to ask, but since I don't think they would be appreciated at this time, let's just agree that I'm here to pester you for no good reason."

"Fine with me." I said, closing my eyes once more. I felt her hand slide gently across a sensitive area on my chest, and I flinched away violently. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I-I'm terribly sorry! I don't know what came over me, but I suddenly felt compelled to touch it."

"Well, please try to control those impulses in the future, Kuchiki."

"I will. I'm sorry."

Before I could dismiss the apology, I took note to the frantic-sounding voices being carried into the room from the hallway. I glanced at Kuchiki, who also seemed to notice. She stood quietly, went to the door without a sound, and then flung it open with such a force that I felt the entire house shake. Three forms were revealed on the other side: Kurosaki Isshin, and two young girls I remembered to be Kurosaki Ichigo's younger sisters.

"What the hell? What do you all think you're overhearing?"

"Rukia-chan, it sounds like you're doing something in there that you shouldn't~!" Kurosaki-san sounded like he was both happy and sad about the alleged activities.

"If you think I'm over Ichigo yet, you're severely mistaken." The way Kuchiki spoke, I think she was a bit offended, but whether it was because she didn't like me in any way, or because Kurosaki's family thought she would give up on him so quickly, I don't know.

The little blonde girl shrank back at Kuchiki's display of rage. "S-Sorry, Rukia-chan. I'll keep that in mind."

Kuchiki whispered something to the girl that I couldn't hear, but the three remaining Kurosaki family members were gone soon after that, and Kuchiki came back into the room, closing the door behind her.

She sighed. "They've been so sad and lonely since Ichigo died, Yuzu-chan and Karin-chan, so I've been coming here every day to comfort them and keep them company while their father is at work."

"Oh, that's right. You were Kurosaki's girlfriend, weren't you?"

She looked away. "Yes, I was. I moved to this town when Nii-sama got a job here in the school six years ago. Ichigo had just lost his mother, but we became fast friends."

"That sounds like a friend of mine and I." I remarked.

"Do you mean Hinamori-san?"

"Yes. She was my school guide for the my day of school here, so she befriended me almost instantaneously. We're still friends, of course. Even though it hasn't even been one full month since I started."

"That's right. I forgot that you've been here for such a short time."

I grunted in response, closing my eyes again. The pain wasn't gone yet, but it wasn't near as bad as it had been. _Maybe I should leave soon._ "What time is it?"

"About 16.30."

"So I've been here for over an hour, then."

"I would assume so, since you were here like this when I arrived with Yuzu-chan and Karin-chan at 15.30." She held her hand out to me. "Do you want to get up now?"

"Not particularly."

"If you're waiting for that pain to subside completely, you're probably going to be here for a while."

I smirked, grabbed her hand and allowed her to help me up. As I sat up, the cut stung again, but I managed to mask the pain, even as I pulled my shirt back on. There were fresh bandages sitting on a table, and I picked them up, deciding that I would ask Hinamori to help me with them later. I glared at my backpack on the floor, then picked it up, gently slinging it over my left shoulder. As I started to leave the room in search of Kurosaki Isshin, I turned back to the violet-eyed girl. "Thanks, Kuchiki."

"For what?"

"I don't know. Keeping me company, I suppose."

"In that case, you're welcome. See you later, Hitsugaya-san."

"Yeah, same to you." I left the examination room after that, spoke with Kurosaki-san for a brief moment, then left to go back to Hinamori's.

Once I was outside, I turned left and started walking, but stopped when I noticed a girl with long ginger hair running down the street away from me. As she made a sudden right turn, I caught a glimpse of her face, and almost instantly recognized her, even though the shot of her face was short lived. Her hair flew behind her, shadowing her movements as she rounded the corner, and it was the last thing I saw of her before she was gone from my sight.

Inoue Orihime. That's who it was. She was alike Matsumoto in so many ways, which had made them become good friends. I'd only met her in a few fleeting moments before, but she had always seemed, to me, to be pretty nice and friendly.

She'd had a crush on Kurosaki Ichigo before he died. Maybe she was here near his house because she, like Kuchiki, still cared for Kurosaki deep in her heart and wanted to be near him in some way.

I sighed and shook my head as I worked my way back to the mansion. _I know too much of this school's gossip. Matsumoto is really wearing off on me, now._ But it was sad, I thought, that someone like Kurosaki, who was apparently loved by so many, had to be taken away so cruelly.

I managed to not get myself lost on the short trip to Hinamori's, as I had numerous times before. This fact actually saddened me, for I had finally gotten myself used to the layout of this town, yet I would have to be leaving it soon. Then again, if I never learned how to get around the town, I probably would never get the chance to do so again.

That's what I told myself, anyway.

Upon my arrival at the house, it was almost five; I found that the maids were busy cleaning the house and preparing dinner, and Hinamori was sitting in the study doing her homework. Hikaru was nowhere in sight, but I was more than alright with that. I glanced around the lobby quickly, didn't see anyone, and then went to join Hinamori, hoping that possibly our conversation could be continued from the night before.

She looked up when I entered the room, then smiled. "So you're all done at the clinic, then, Hitsugaya-kun?"

"Yeah, for now. He'd like me to check in again next week, but this should be mostly healed pretty soon, so long as I don't let it get completely infected." I set my backpack down on a chair and sat down on the floor.

"Is it already infected?" She asked, clearly worried.

"Not quite, but it would have been soon if I hadn't gone in today. You'll have to help me put on these bandages, then, because I have orders to keep them on, and I can't wrap it myself. Well, I could, but it would be pretty sloppy, most likely."

"We can do that now." Hinamori suggested while standing up and coming over to me. I pulled the bandages out of my pocket where I had shoved them, handed them to her and took off my shirt again.

As her gentle, delicate hands worked on binding my chest and shoulder again, I brought up the thing I really wanted to know. "Now, what was that thing you were trying to tell me last night before we were interrupted?"

Her hands paused for a moment, then resumed their course. "Oh, don't worry about it. It was nothing."

"It didn't seem like nothing. Actually, it seemed to be pretty damn important."

She clasped the bandages and stepped back. I turned to see her biting her lip nervously. "It's alright. I'll tell you another time, okay?"

_She's dodging the topic. What about it is so...intimidating? What's she trying to hide?_ I thought, slightly irritated. _Idiot, if she's willing to tell you about it, just not now, then she's not trying to hide it. She's obviously waiting for something. Stop pestering._ "Where's your father? I didn't see him when I glanced into the living and dining rooms."

"He's in his office." She replied simply, sitting back down at the desk and resuming her homework.

"Office? Does that mean he's not here?"

"No, he's here. His office is on the second floor next to my room. Actually, that's why I'm down here. If I put on the television or turn some music up too loud, it will disturb him."

"I see."

Just then, an intercom box on the wall buzzed, and one of the maids' voices (maybe it was Megumi?) came through to tell us that dinner was ready. I was surprised at the use of the box, for it had never seen use. Since my arrival, at least, it hadn't. Hinamori didn't seem too terribly alarmed, merely set her pencil down and stood from her chair. From my vantage point on the floor, she looked to be tall and proud, like a noble.

_Well, I guess she technically is, isn't she?_ I mused.

I stood up and when we went out into the lobby, we met up with Hikaru, who was just coming down the stairs.

"Oh, what perfect timing. Now the three of us can all enter the dining room at the same time." He said cheerfully.

_Why is that important?_ I wondered, though didn't speak out loud.

Once in the dining room, we each took our respective seats and the maids placed the food on the table around us. For approximately ten minutes, there was no conversation to be heard, for no one had much to say, I guess. Then, all of a sudden, Hikaru began talking.

"Toushiro-san, do you think that your parents might have had a genealogy book lying around somewhere?"

"Genealogy book? I'm not sure. I've never heard either of them mention something like that, and I've certainly never seen it. And I've read most of the books in my house."

"Hmm...How about we go to your house tomorrow and see if we can find one?"

"Er, I guess we could do that. Do you want to come with, too, Hinamori?" I cautiously inquired.

"No, thank you. I don't think I want to go back there again."

"Neither do I, but it's going to be necessary for me to go so this relative problem can be solved."

"I know. Still, you two can handle it on your own, right?"

I hesitated, then nodded my head. "Yeah, I guess we can."

"Alright, it's settled then. Toushiro-san and I will go to his house right after the two of you get home from school tomorrow. You can invite Rangiku-san over if you want, Momo."

"Okay. I'll call her after we're done here and see if she'd like to hang out." Hinamori smiled.

"We're going right after school?" Asked I, slightly surprised.

"Yes. It might take us a little while to find the documents we need, and just as long to sort through them. Why? Was there something else you have to do after school?"

"As of right now, it'll probably just be homework, but that can always wait. Until we get back, that is."

"Well, we'll have to make sure we find everything tomorrow, so it might be rather late until we return. Perhaps you should finish the homework before we go, instead."

"No, I can probably just do it another time." I tilted my head to the side. "Why must we hurry and get everything done tomorrow?"

"I'll be leaving on Friday." He said simply.

"Friday already?" Hinamori asked, disappointed. "That's so soon."

"Yes, well I have some business to take care of overseas, and my flight leaves Friday afternoon."

I was about to ask what his occupation was, but Hinamori subtly shook her head. Apparently, I shouldn't ask. Actually, I wouldn't have gotten the opportunity to ask, anyway, because Hikaru stood up from the table all of a sudden.

"I think I'm finished for the night. I'll see the two of you tomorrow afternoon, if you leave for school before I come downstairs in the morning." Hinamori and I both nodded and bade him goodnight, and then he stalked off.

Once I was sure he was gone and out of earshot, I turned my attention to Hinamori. "Hey, are you okay? You've seemed out of it, lately."

"You think so, too?"

"Eh?"

"Rangiku-san's call last night was her asking me the same thing."

"That means that something _is_ wrong, since I'm not the only one who took notice. So what is it? What's bothering you?"

"It's nothing, Hitsugaya-kun."

"Does this have something to do with that conversation we haven't finished?"

"Yes, but don't worry about it. It's fine, really. _I'm_ fine."

I narrowed my eyes, suspecting a lie. "Don't give me that crap. There's something going on with you, and I want to know what it is."

"And I told you not to worry!"

"Wait, wait, wait. So you can tell me to not worry about you, but I can't tell you not to worry about me? How does that work out?"

Hinamori's mouth opened and closed, and she lowered her head, avoiding my eyes. "I'm sorry, Hitsugaya-kun. I guess I never thought of that." She pushed away from the table and stood. "If you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to go to my room."

"Ah, but—" I called and reached out to try to stop her, but she continued away. I gritted my teeth together, waited a moment, then went to my room as well. I was a bit irritated with her, but more so with myself. If I had just let it drop, hadn't asked her in the first place about what was wrong, maybe she wouldn't have gotten so mad. Hell, maybe this whole conversation could have been avoided. She told me just before dinner that we'll continue that other conversation later, so if it is indeed related to what's wrong with her, then I didn't have to press the topic.

_But I'm an idiot and can't keep my damned mouth shut._

Still agitated, I drifted into a nightmare-laced sleep.

.*.*.*.

I waited at the bottom of the main staircase for almost twenty minutes before Hikaru decided to come downstairs. He was dressed in a rather ostentatious manner, and held the aura of an absurdly rich man. Then I remembered that he actually _is_ a ridiculously rich man.

"Are you ready to go, Toushiro-san?"

"_I_ am, but I'm not sure you should go in _that_." 'That' referred to his lavish, rich outfit.

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

"You'll be too obvious walking around in it. You should wear something more inconspicuous."

"I _should_, but that wouldn't be any fun, would it?"

_Fun? Did he just treat this like it's going to be _fun_?_ I felt my eyebrow twitch, but I calmed myself. He _was_ allowing me to stay in his home, after all. It wouldn't do well to be a jerk to him even more. "Well, whatever. Let's get going already."

He nodded, but as I started for the front door, he stopped me. "Where are you going?"

"...Um, to my house."

"But you're moving toward the front door like we're _walking_ there."

"Aren't we?"

"No, of course not. I'll drive us. It'll be much faster that way."

I shrugged my shoulders. "I guess I'm just so used to walking everywhere that I don't think about driving."

"I usually drive instead of walking around town. Walking is far too dangerous, don't you think?" Hikaru began walking toward the living room, and I followed along behind him.

"Actually, I think cars are more hazardous."

"Why would they be? They've got all sorts of safety features, you know." He pushed open a door that led into his garage, where he pulled away a dust cover from a bright red sports car. It was an old model, though looked to be brand new, and I couldn't help wondering how much use it had ever seen. "Humans don't have safety features."

"I don't want to get into an argument about cars. You have your opinion, and I have mine." I said, maybe a bit too harshly. He looked to be slightly offended, but then he laughed.

"That's true." He unlocked the car and we got in, and the drive to my house was short lived, as well as relatively quiet. He parked directly in front of the tan building in which I had lived for such a short amount of time and, after we got out of the car, we stepped up to the front door. I unlocked said door and we stepped into the house.

"Where would you like to start?" I asked, indicating the house with a wave of my arm.

"Is there a Study?"

I felt myself cringe at his question, but shook it off. Just because the living room and Study were technically connected didn't mean I would have to use that particular route to get to the room in question. There was more than one way to get around my house.

"Y-Yes. It's this way." I took him through the kitchen and dining rooms, stopping myself just outside the archway for the Study. "It's right through there."

He nodded a 'thank you' and entered, while I sat down on the side of the doorway where I wouldn't be able to see the half-wall that separated the living room from the Study. With such a vantage point, I wouldn't even be able to see half of the Study itself, but I was alright with that.

Hikaru pulled a drawer out of my father's desk and brought it over to me so I could help without actually being in the room. He went back to get one of his own, sat in the chair to do some searching of his own, and everything was quiet for a time.

And then something changed. It wasn't something I saw physically at first, but it seemed to me that the tone of the room was different. It was more tense. Foreboding. I glanced up from the paper I was looking at to see if Hikaru noticed anything, only to find his eyes narrowed in irritation as he looked at me. "What is it?"

"Stay away from my daughter."

I was taken aback. "What?"

"You heard me, didn't you?"

"Well, yeah, but I'm not sure I understand..." I trailed off. I _did_ have an idea of why, and I was sure he'd somehow found out about it.

But that wasn't quite right.

"I ran a background check on you as soon as I found out you were staying in the same house as my impressionable daughter. I wouldn't mind her having a boyfriend at least, but there's no way I want her hanging around some crazy kid."

"I'm not crazy. And actually, how'd you get a background check back so quickly? Those usually take at least two weeks to come back."

"Did you think that I didn't know about you before I came home? My servants are very loyal to me, so I caught wind of your presence all the way back on the fourth, when you first began staying in my house."

"So you came back solely to tell me to get out of your house?"

"No, not true. I also returned to see my daughter and catch up with Aizen. Mostly, though, it was to get such a crazy teenage boy away from my daughter."

I glared at him and stood up. "I'm not going to sit here and listen to this. You say I'm crazy, but I'm pretty sure you fit the bill better."

"Are you sure of that?"

"Quite positive." I folded my arms across my chest, still glaring at him. As short as I am, I probably wasn't very intimidating to someone like him, but I wasn't exactly trying to be so. I was just attempting to defend myself and my pride, however little of the latter remained by this point.

"Well, Toushiro-san, I'm not the one that spent a week in a mental institution." He said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"It wasn't an institution, it was a hospital!"

"Your parents had you admitted because, apparently, you wanted to kill yourself."

"That's not even true! I told them that I felt a little bit depressed, and they interpreted it all wrong."

"That doesn't change any of the other factors of your obvious insanity. You've been on six different types of medication within the last five years, had countless therapy sessions—"

"What the hell kind of background check was this?"

"I told you: I have connections everywhere. I wanted to find out what kind of person my daughter was having in the house, so I made some inquiries and got all the information I needed."

By this point, I wanted to ring his neck, but the fact that he was Hinamori's father stopped me. I spun around to start walking off, but tripped over the desk drawer I had been sifting through. I fell onto my left shoulder painfully, but was otherwise fine. The drawer was lucky I weighed so little, because the only damage it took was having its contents spilt onto the floor.

_Damn!_ I cursed to myself, but sat upright and glanced at Hikaru, who was looking at a paper in his hand. He had clearly seen me fall, but I suppose getting rid of me and my problems was more important to him at the time. If I had fallen and broken a bone, it just meant that any time spent in the hospital would not be spent around Hinamori.

And if my neck had been broken, that would have been all the better, right?

I had started moving papers back into the drawer when something odd caught my attention. It was buried under everything, placing it at the very bottom of the drawer. It was as if my father didn't want to see it or be reminded of it, but couldn't get rid of it. I hesitantly picked it up to find that it was an old skeleton key, engraved with a dragon and the letter 'H' on the key's head on both sides. It was on a silver chain that appeared to be much newer than the key. I had never seen it before in my life, yet the whole thing felt familiar to me somehow. I pulled it over my head and tucked it under my shirt.

Something told me I was going to need it later.

I stood again after putting everything else back into the drawer. "I'm leaving. This is useless."

"You're not going anywhere without me, especially not back to my house."

"Why not? It's not like I'm 'corrupting' Hinamori."

"I know what can happen if kids are left alone for too long. I'm quite surprised that nothing has yet."

I wanted to laugh in his face and tell him that he was already too late, but restrained myself. I couldn't keep my relationship with Hinamori a secret from him if I revealed it all on my own.

"Actually, I'm sure that you've tried something already, but my Momo would never get herself involved with someone of your kind."

"Oh, I have a 'kind,' now, do I? Tell me, what 'kind' am I, exactly?" I moved to the back door. _I'm leaving soon, whether he's with me or not. I'm not going to take another minute of this shit._

"Not the kind that is above rape."

_That's it. _I threw the door open and stormed off, not heading for Hinamori's. Not really heading anywhere, actually. With what had just happened, I wanted to be alone to run off some steam. The suddenly rainy afternoon would help to cool me down, too.

_Twice. That's twice now I've been deceived by two different people in such a short duration of time. Who else? Who else is putting up a farce?_ I wondered angrily as I ran across a street.

I would soon find out.

.*.*.*.

Hikaru picked me up in the park later that evening and instructed me to not tell Hinamori about our conversation, as well as make her think we both had been at my house the whole evening. I wasn't sure how we were going to explain my soaked hair and clothes, but he had a lie for that, too. He had 'lost' his car key, I got bored and started to walk back just as the rain got bad, and Hikaru picked me up near the house after he 'found' it.

I didn't put up any resistance to the lies, partly because I hardly spoke for the rest of the trip, but mostly because I was arguing with myself again. _Not tell Hinamori? How the hell could I? She still doesn't fully believe me about Aizen being a murderer, so there's no way she'd believe me if I told her everything—or anything—that was said today._

"_Oh, my father is just trying to be protective of me. Don't mind him."_ She'd say, completely disregarding it. Or, she would be angry that I suspect treachery in two different people she'd known her whole life and scream at me. I wasn't sure.

_But she should know about this, despite her probable, in-denial reactions. If I help to hide things from her, then I'm just as bad as the rest of the men in her life. If she reacts badly, then it just shows how long it's going to take her to realize how the rest of the world is going to be. If she's alright with it, then I've done something else to help her grow up, at least a little bit._

But I lied to her anyway. I knew it somewhere in my heart that neither of us would have been able to handle another argument among us. We both were already unstable in our own ways, and if things got any worse between us, my only source of comfort, I was sure I'd have another breakdown.

Hinamori had already eaten by the time we returned, so I skipped the meal I wasn't hungry for anyway and did my homework while talking to her. In her room, of course. We even had the door shut and music turned on somewhat louder than necessary.

Maybe I did it out of spite. Maybe it was a habit of mine by that point and I didn't think anything of it. Either way, I was placing my temporary home on the line with all of the risks I was chancing.

I fell asleep in Hinamori's room then. Not on purpose, but my bruised shoulder ached, my scar was stinging, and my head was killing me. I really didn't have the patience for Geometry, and while talking kept me conscious, it only made me sleepier. I felt my eyelids drooping and the words on the pages I was looking at became blended together in a jumbled, incomprehensible mass of text.

The next thing I was aware of, I was experiencing the nightmare again. It was the newest, most disturbing one I'd been having the past few nights since Hinamori had stayed in my room all night. It frightened me, this nightmare. Something bad was going to happen, I was sure, and I wished I could figure out how to use the dreams to my advantage.

Hell, I'm _still_ trying to figure that one out.

Suddenly, a cool sensation brought me back to reality. I opened my eyes to meet two other pairs gazing down at me in worry. It took me almost a full minute to realize that it was just Hinamori and Hikaru. The latter didn't seem to be as concerned for my well-being as the former, but I wasn't surprised one bit. At least his true colours had come out sooner rather than later.

"Hitsugaya-kun, are you alright?" Hinamori asked, reaching toward my forehead. The cold sensation faded as she lifted a cloth away.

"Yeah, I'm fine, but what am I doing in your bed?" I finally had taken a look around, only to recognize the surroundings as Hinamori's room. The perspective from which I could see everything and the softness I felt under me told me particularly _where_ I was in her room.

"You fell asleep, so I picked you up and put you on my bed so you could be more comfortable. Then you started to have that nightmare again, and you wouldn't wake up when I shook you and called your name. I got a bit frantic, and Otou-san overheard and came down. He couldn't wake you, either, but I soaked a cloth in cold water to put on your forehead. If that hadn't worked, I'm not sure what we would have done."

"I'm sorry I worried you." I apologized and tried to sit up, but sharp pains arose in my chest and head, keeping me laying there.

"You have a fever and your tossing around tore open the gash on your torso, so it's best if you don't try to move around too much right now." Hikaru's voice still seemed angry to me, but I wonder if I was just imagining it. "I'll help you back to your room and have some medicine fetched for you, if you'd like."

Despite my strong distaste for both Hikaru and medicine, I said 'Yes' and 'Thank you,' and was indeed in my room not long after that. I felt dizzy and sick to my stomach, but I managed to stay partially sitting up in bed and awake while Hikaru went off in search of medicine. Hinamori sat next to me on the edge of my bed, discreetly holding my hand and checking my temperature from time to time.

I wanted to pass out, to drift into a sleep where the only pain I had to worry about was the pain of not knowing what was going on. Eventually I must have, because I can't remember much else from that night. I vaguely remember Hikaru coming back with medicine for me to take, but everything else is a haze of memories. I wasn't feeling any better in the morning (if anything, I was feeling worse), so Hinamori told me to stay home and rest, to which I gladly obliged. Unfortunately, just after she left for school, I found out that Hikaru wasn't quite done talking to me yet.

"I thought I told you to stay away from Momo?"

"How can I stay away from her if we go to the same school, have the same schedule while there, and currently live in the same house?"

"You can start by doing your homework here, in the guest room, by yourself. You had no business being in her room last night."

My brain felt fuzzy. Probably the medication. "Why not? It was just homework."

"I don't care! I told you to back off, and I'm not going to tell you again. If you can't do as I say, I'll have the police or Child Services called, and they'll take you away."

I shrugged as my vision became clouded. "Can't make any promises..."

I guess he left after that. I woke up at noon to a phone ringing...or maybe the call was from a different time. I can't remember it well. I know I woke up every time I was supposed to be given another dose of medicine, but then there were a few other memories mixed in there. Particularly, I recall Hikaru coming in and telling me that he was leaving, and that I'd better be gone before he returned again. Also, that if he ever found out that I did something to Hinamori, he would get revenge.

Or something along those lines.

Hinamori returned to my side as soon as she got back from school, and I had just awoken around the same time. I was due for more medicine, but I wasn't going to ask for it. Not right away, at least. It made my senses dull, and I didn't want to be like that while talking to her.

"Are you feeling any better?" I was asked, and I nodded my head truthfully.

"The medicine and sleep has been helping a great deal."

"That's good. Hopefully, you'll be able to fully recover from this over the weekend."

"I hope so, too. I don't like being confined to a bed all day. It's rather boring."

She laughed. "I can imagine. But if you were sleeping the whole time, then it couldn't have been too bad, right?"

"I suppose that's true."

There was a lull in the conversation then, during which I might have blacked out. I didn't remember Hinamori sitting so close to me. "Anyway, it would seem that my father has left already, so it's just the two of us and the servants all over again."

"Y'mean we don't have to struggle to keep our relationship a secret now?"

"Nope. Now everything can go back to how it was just a few days ago."

I smiled, as did she, but as she leaned in to kiss me, I pulled away. "Sorry. I don't want to get you sick, too, because then we'd be confined to our own rooms and wouldn't get to see each other."

"If that's the price of love, then so be it." She moved in again, though we were interrupted this time by a knock on the door.

Hinamori snapped away from me and sat straight-backed, while I looked cautiously at the door. _It can't be Hikaru, can it? He already left the house, but I wouldn't put it past him to book another flight for later this evening just to check on the two of us._ "Y-Yes?" I called out. "You can come in."

The door was opened quietly by the blonde, sensible maid, Izumi. She bowed to the two of us quickly but carefully, balancing a tray in her hands while doing so. "Hitsugaya-sama, I was informed that you have not yet eaten anything today, so I have brought some soup, as well as more medication."

"Oh, thank you very much. Please just set it here on the table, and I'll get to it later."

"Not too much later, though, Hitsugaya-kun." Hinamori noted as Izumi obeyed my orders. "You'll have to eat to get better, too."

"I know, I know. I'm just not hungry right now." I lied. I hadn't eaten anything since lunch at school the day before and was starving, but Hinamori didn't need to know that. The look I got from her, though, made me put my hands up as if in surrender. "Alright, alright. I'll just force myself to eat, then."

"You don't have to do _that_, but at least try to eat it before it gets cold."

"I will." I promised. For some reason, I decided to wait until she left to touch the food.

She stayed for almost another half an hour, telling me about her day. I guess it must have been pretty boring without me there, although it was Shiba-sensei's birthday, the assistant teacher for Local and World History. Ukitake-sensei, being the nice guy he was, brought in miscellaneous food items for each class, and they had mini parties. It sounded fun, and I wished that I hadn't been sick to miss it.

One thing that caught my attention was when Hinamori said that Matsumoto and Ichimaru had become a couple. I was a bit taken aback, but I can't say I was completely surprised. I hadn't exactly seen it coming, but it was...It seemed like a Matsumoto thing to do.

After Hinamori left my room, I took the next dose of medicine, not as hesitantly as the first few times, and ate most of the soup. My mind had cleared, for the most part, but when I tried to get out of bed, my vision swayed again. I had almost no choice but to go back to sleep, and the medicine kept the nightmare away. Well, maybe it did, or maybe it had gone away, feeling as if it was no longer needed. But I kept taking the medicine anyway, just in case it was what was keeping the nightmare at bay.

When I woke again, the room was pitch dark. I looked at the side table to find the food tray gone, and the clock behind where it had been sitting read 21.45. I thought that maybe I had woken a few times before then, but I couldn't remember that, either. Despite the resulting dizziness, I rose from the bed and left my room, wandering off down the hall to Hinamori's room. My head ached terribly, but the hollow feeling at the pit of my stomach was beginning to fade.

I knocked softly on my girlfriend's closed door and heard her call from inside for me to enter. I opened it slowly and glanced around her room. She was laying stomach-down on her bed, a small pink notebook open in front of her. A purple pen was in her hand, scribbling away in the book, but she set it next to the notebook when she turned and saw that it was me.

"Oh, Hitsugaya-kun, you're awake again. Should you be up and about so soon?"

"No, probably not, but I really hate being in one place for too long. Thought I'd take a bit of a walk."

She giggled, stood up and closed the book. "Maybe you should walk back to your room, then. You look absolutely terrible."

"Gee, thanks Hinamori." I stated sarcastically. Playing along, I turned and made like I was going to leave.

"I was only kidding, Hitsugaya-kun! You don't have to go."

"Hmm? So you _want_ me to stay, probably sleep in your bed tonight and _actually_ get you sick?" I shrugged my shoulders as I took four steps forward. "Well, if you insist."

"No, no, no, that's not what I meant!"

"I know. You're not the only one who can joke around."

"You're supposed to be sick, aren't you?" She herself stepped a bit closer, but it seemed as if she was trying to keep a large gap between the two of us."

"I _am_ sick. I'm just good at hiding it."

Before she could retort, we both heard the doorbell ring downstairs. I looked at her curiously, she the same to me, and the two of us went to the top of the steps to spy on the front door. The peach-haired maid, Sakura, hurriedly came from the living room and went to the door, peering past the curtains on the back of the door, then swiftly unlocked the door to allow the person access to the house.

It was Matsumoto. Her hair was dishevelled, her face flushed, her breath coming out in quick puffs. Her eyes were wild, and her clothing was mismatched, making it look like she had dressed in the dark and had just tossed anything on in a hurry, just to remain decent.

_Did she run all the way over here?_ I wondered. That was when I noticed that a certain silver-haired man was not with her.

"Are...Hinamori and...Toushiro around?" She asked frantically.

"Hinamori-dono should be preparing for bed at this time, and I believe that Hitsugaya-sama is still resting."

Hinamori stepped out of our hiding place and into plain sight so the two downstairs could see her. "Actually, we're both right here. What's wrong, Rangiku-san? Why are you here so late at night?"

"It's Gin. He's gone!"

"Gone?" Hinamori and I declared at the same time. "What do you mean 'gone'?" "Gone where?"

"I-I don't know. I woke up when I heard him leaving, but I didn't see where he went."

"Where would someone like that go so late in the evening?" Hinamori pondered, but I already had my own idea.

"Aizen's. I'll bet that's where he went."

"Why would he—"

Matsumoto held up her hand to stop Hinamori from continuing. "We've got no other ideas. We can start the search there."

After but a moment of hesitation, Hinamori nodded in agreement, and the both of us ran back into our own rooms to change into relatively normal clothing. It took less than five minutes for the three of us to be gathered in the lobby again, but just as we were about to leave, I thought of something.

"Matsumoto, don't you have a car?"

"Technically, no, but I often am permitted to use my grandfather's car. Unfortunately, he and my grandmother are out of town right now and won't be back until the morning."

Then I turned to Hinamori. "Do you know where your father keeps the keys for his car?"

"W-We can't take his car! He'll kill us!"

"He doesn't have to know. Besides, this is an emergency." She continued to hesitate, and my patience was wearing thin. "Come on, Hinamori! We have to get going already!"

She shut her eyes tightly, then opened them, determination showing. "Oh, alright. Hang on a minute." She went back up the stairs and then continued going up to the third floor, coming back shortly after that. There was a set of keys in her hand, glittering in the light and jingling with each step she took. "Here they are, but we'll have to hurry and bring it back swiftly."

"Why? He's not coming back here anytime soon. I mean, he's on a business trip, right?"

"Yeah, but..."

"But nothing!" I snapped. "Let's get going already." We piled into the car, and Matsumoto drove us to the place where I had first met Ichimaru. The ride was completely dead silent.

When we got to Aizen's home, the all of the lights in the entire house were off, giving the impression that no one was home, but I insisted that we check it out. The last time, too, the place had seemed empty, even though it wasn't. Hinamori was still being overly nervous, which was annoying me to no end, but I found that I couldn't be mad at her for long. Maybe if I had been in the same situation as her, I would be acting quite similarly.

We finally went in and avoided turning on any lights in an attempt to keep the element of surprise on our side, since Ichimaru would know the building better than us. A thorough sweep of the first floor revealed nothing, so we moved on to the next one. The master bedroom and both second-floor bathrooms were clear, as was the first guest bedroom. Two doors remained to be opened, one which would lead to another bedroom, the other to an exercise room. I opted for the second guest room, where, unbeknownst to me, the trouble would worsen.

I was the first into the room, and when I was halfway across the room, I noticed the coppery scent in the air. I recognized at once what it was and froze in place, even before I saw the arm sticking out of the closet. When it did appear within my line of sight, I spun around quickly, both to tell the other two about it, and to get my eyes away from it. I didn't get the chance right then to tell them, for something else behind them was out of place.

There was someone standing at the door. Someone who hadn't come in with us, and his bony form leaned on the arch, watching us with interest.

Watching us and grinning.

"Ichimaru!" I shouted, charging the man. Before I could reach him, however, the silver-haired bastard pulled the door shut right in my face; as I reached for the handle to tug it open once more, I heard a key turning in the lock on the other side. I cursed and tried the door anyway, but it didn't budge. I slammed the side of my fist on it, but that also did minimal damage. I looked back to Hinamori and Matsumoto, both of whom were watching me, seemingly a bit bothered by what they had just witnessed. "I'm sorry." I muttered. "I think we're stuck here."

Instead of commenting on that notion, Matsumoto advanced one step toward me. "Was that Gin just now?"

"It was, I believe."

"So he was here after all..."

"I would assume so, since we just saw him, you know."

She glared at me and I retreated, choosing to be the subservient one when it came to dealing with an angry Matsumoto.

Probably the only wise choice I made all night.

"Why did you turn around so suddenly?" Inquired Hinamori, looking at me, tilting her head to one side, appearing slightly confused and curious.

"What?"

"Before you noticed Ichimaru, you spun around, looking scared. What was it?"

I gulped, pointing a suddenly shaking finger at the closet. "That. There's a body in there."

Both females appeared shocked as they saw it too. "Wha-What the hell? Why didn't you say something earlier?"

"I only noticed it just before Ichimaru showed up, or else I would have." I felt myself shivering still. Being so close to another body was making me nervous. "I can't tell who it is, though, from here."

Hinamori shuddered. "I'm not looking to see. Hitsugaya-kun, you do it."

"W-What? Are you crazy?"

"What if that person is still alive? We can't just ignore them!"

I suppose she wasn't really thinking about what she was saying, but there was this stupid, simple-minded part of me that was firmly set on impressing her and being the hero.

So I stepped forward into the small enclosed room, regretting it as soon as I laid my eyes upon the body.

It was Hinamori's father; 'was' being the operative word there. His eyes had been gouged out and now lay on the floor next to his head. The his nose had been completely sliced off and was nowhere to be seen, as well as his tongue, which I could see was missing through his open mouth. He had been stabbed countless times in the chest, indicating the use of a knife, rather than the sword used to kill my parents. Blood was splattered all over the room and was pooled underneath him. It took a great deal of effort to avoid stepping in it.

He'd been killed right there in that closet. But...how had he gotten there?

I felt dizzy and staggered backward on the heels of my feet. I forgot that I had been sick already, but finding Hikaru in such a state made me remember all too well.

The stench of the blood was making me nauseous. _It's just like two weeks ago. Hinamori's father has met with the same fate as my parents, and they were all probably taken down by the same person._

I fought the images that threatened to surface back, shortening my breath, spinning my vision. I leaned on the back wall of the closet for support, because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to hold myself up anymore.

"D-Did you know the person, Hitsugaya-kun?" Hinamori called. She hadn't looked in, but might have heard my reaction, or else she was worried because I hadn't said anything yet.

Either way, I couldn't respond. My voice was caught in my throat, and I felt as if I was choking.

_Breathe. Breathe. Breathe._ I chanted to myself over and over again.

"Hitsugaya-kun?" I heard her footsteps closing in, and managed to find my voice again.

"Don't—Don't come in here, Hinamori. This is _not_ a pretty sight." She stopped walking and I took the chance to take a few deep breaths.

_Calm down. Calm yourself down, Toushiro. Don't let her see you panic._

For the most part, that worked, and I slowly exited the closet.

_Oh, damn. That doesn't count as 'coming out of the closet,' does it?_

"Hitsugaya-kun, are you alright? You're rather pale." Hinamori stepped up to me to check my temperature, but I pulled her into an embrace and edged her away from the gruesome scene. My chin rested on her shoulder, and I closed my eyes in an attempt to block various images from surfacing.

"I guess, Hinamori, that we don't have to worry about your father yelling at us for borrowing his car." I whispered into her ear. I didn't want her to have to find out like that, but I didn't have many other options. I figured she would find out sooner or later, and it would've been bad if she suspected me of anything.

Even if that 'anything' was just my trying to protect her from any more pains of the heart.

"W-What? What do you mean by that?" She pushed me back a bit and I opened my eyes to find her chocolate hues frantically searching mine for an answer. I averted mine to evade her pointed gaze.

"I'm sorry, Hinamori."

"No. No, you can't mean—" She broke away from me and barged into the closet, her blood-curdling scream following moments afterwards.

I cringed. That was _exactly_ what I was trying to avoid. Before I could make a move to go comfort her, Matsumoto was already there, doing what I wouldn't have been able to do very well. Hinamori's whimpers and soft cries followed me as I approached the only window in the room. It overlooked the street, and even though we were on the second floor, I didn't feel as if we were too terribly high up off the ground.

"Wh-Who could have done this? It...it wouldn't have been Aizen-dono, would it? I mean, not _my_ _father_! Aizen-dono...he wouldn't have done this to him!"

Anger surged through me. _Damn that Aizen! Even when he's not around, he's causing someone pain!_

Hinamori continued talking like that, trying to rationalize why Aizen couldn't have killed her father, and I wanted to smash the man's—Aizen's—skull in. I wanted break his neck.

_CRASH!_

I opened the eyes I didn't remember closing to see blood, broken glass and pale flesh. My blood. My flesh. Apparently, my desire to kill Aizen had surfaced itself physically, and I had thrust my right fist through the window in front of me, completely shattering it. My arm was severely cut up as a result.

I felt no pain.

The loud sound brought Hinamori and Matsumoto out to the main room, where both gasped at the amount of blood covering me and the area.

"Oh my—! What did you do, Toushiro?" Matsumoto demanded as she had Hinamori sit on the bed.

"I-I don't remember. I was thinking about something that made me angry, and I saw my arm like this after the crash. I guess the rage in my body shares a brain with my arm."

Matsumoto began tearing strips of the bed sheets off in order to wrap my hand up. "Toushiro, you've _lacerated_ your arm."

As she wrapped my hand and lectured me, I was looking out the window again. It was such an action that allowed me to see the silver fox known as Ichimaru standing next to Hikaru's car, gazing up at me. I saw him smile, then start off down the street. I jerked my bloody arm away from Matsumoto and stepped up onto the ledge of the window, searching for a way down. A water spout was mounted on the wall right next to the window, but there was nothing else.

Well, unless I wanted to jump.

_Nope, I'm not up for that right now._

I grabbed the metal spout and hoisted myself from the windowsill carefully, Matsumoto shouting frantic protests behind me.

"Toushiro, what the _hell_ do you think you're doing?" She screamed. Hinamori had run to the window, too, and stared at me wide-eyed.

"I'm getting the fuck out of here, what does it _look_ like I'm doing?"

"It _looks_ like you're about to get yourself killed! Get back in here now!"

"Not a chance! I just saw Ichimaru run down the street, and I'm going after him." With much difficulty, I slid down the side of the building, badly scuffing the knuckles and backs of both my hands in the process. Actually, maybe not so much the right hand, since it was already cut up pretty bad and wrapped in "bandages," but said bandages were useless now that they'd been torn to shreds. I tore them off and gazed at my bloody hands, surprised that there still was no pain.

But I guess it wasn't really my priority to fret over a few small gashes.

Once I was safely on the ground, I took two steps forward before I heard Matsumoto speak. "Don't tell me you're just going to leave us here!"

"I don't have a choice. He's going to get away if I don't hurry up!"

"I can't let you go alone, Hitsugaya-kun!" Hinamori declared as she tried to copy my previous actions of climbing out the window onto the rain spout.

My heart leapt into my throat. "Hinamori, stop!" I exclaimed, but she didn't listen. Her hands groped at the pipe, but kept slipping before she could get a grip good enough to pull herself out. Finally, she was out of the window, and I sighed deeply.

Then she lost her hold and fell from the spout.

Down, down she went, screaming. Matsumoto tried to grab her, but was unsuccessful, and I was already sprinting toward her. I felt a sharp jab of pain in my left ankle when I kicked off, but I ignored it, for the most part. A twisted ankle was nothing compared to my girlfriend's life. I couldn't just stand by and nurse an ankle while she plunged to the earth.

Granted, we were just on the second floor so she might not have been hurt too terribly, but it's the thought that counts.

I caught her. Not by much, but I managed to get my arms right under her just in time, thus catching her safely. Safely for her, that is. Even though she couldn't have weighed much more than me, the force of her landing in my arms put a strain on my body, and I collapsed to my knees, clutching Hinamori to my chest, even though I felt the wound there violently tear open.

Now, that pain I felt.

I felt as if I was on fire, and yet I did not let go of Hinamori, despite that I knew it was safe to let go of her. I clutched onto her, as if I was glad for her being safe—which I was—but it was more of an anchor. I could feel the blood flowing out of me freely, and my breath came out in short rasps. Everything became blurry, then normal, and back again it went. The pain was unbearable, now that I knew Hinamori was safe, my mind was reduced to focusing only on that pain.

I tried to control it and not let it show, but, of course, Hinamori noticed that something was wrong.

"Hitsugaya-kun, are you alright?"

I shake my head honestly.

"What's wrong? Did you hurt your hand more with that?"

"Chest." I managed to gasp out between breaths.

"Chest?" She was confused for but a moment before realization shone in her eyes. "OH, your _chest_! You must have pulled at the skin too much." She pulled herself from my arms and gazed at me in concern.

"Y'think?"

"Let me see it. Maybe it's not as bad as we think."

I stared at her in daze for a moment before peeling my blood-soaked T-shirt and bandages from my chest. "How is it?" I asked, not wanting to look down. Hinamori's expression told me everything I needed to know. "It's bad, isn't it?"

"Y-You could say that. We need to get you to a doctor, Hitsugaya-kun." She suggested.

"This late at night? No, we're going to chase after Ichimaru."

"We don't even know where he is right now. He's probably long gone."

"I saw which direction he went in." I stood up despite everything, turned away from Hinamori and spoke again. "I'm going, Hinamori. For the sake of my parents and your father, we'll resolve this as quickly as possible."

"What about Rangiku-san? We can't just leave her in there, you know." The location of her voice indicated that she too had stood.

"Go try to get the door open. I'll pursue Ichimaru, so hurry and catch up."

"You're not _really_ planning to leave us behind, are you, Toushiro?" A singsong voice belonging to someone I knew well was heard coming closer.

"Rangiku-san, how'd you get down here?" Asked Hinamori, slightly baffled.

I turned back around to face the two girls, just as Matsumoto was starting to speak again. "Toushiro's 'water-spout method' worked pretty nicely for me."

I gave her a wry smile as I pulled my shirt back on. "Now that you're here, I guess we can get going now."

"Right." She and Hinamori said simultaneously.

I only hoped that I would be able to find the answers to my questions before I died or passed out from the amount of blood I was sure to lose.

.*.*.*.

It wasn't as hard to catch up to Ichimaru as we had thought it would be. We were initially going to chase after him in Hikaru's car, but when we found the tires slashed (and the horn mysteriously quacking instead of honking), we resorted to running. It seemed as if Ichimaru was making sure we would see him and follow, because he would linger at the end of every block and turn around to watch us until we got within a certain range of him. This went on for three blocks down Walnut Street, and then Ichimaru turned onto Fourth Avenue. Two blocks south took us to Sycamore Drive, and we were going west again. At the main street, Ichimaru went south once more.

_The school. His destination is the school._ I knew at once. There was nothing else along the road in the direction he was heading, so that had to be his destination. Unless, of course, he decided to go off into the next town or something.

I glanced back at Hinamori and Matsumoto. They seemed to have come to the same conclusion, for they both returned my gaze confidently.

_We're all going to continue on, then,_ I thought with a pang of disappointment. I was starting to wish I had been able to leave them behind at Aizen's. As we drew closer to where Aizen himself likely was, rage was circulating through my system. It was the only thing keeping me going. I didn't want to get the two caught up in something that would probably get out of control.

Out of my control, that is.

But it was too late to be thinking of getting rid of them, because by this point, we were standing in front of the school, watching the fox enter the building through the main entrance. Why it was unlocked wasn't a question pondered by any of us as we continued to give chase. We raced through the hallways, our footsteps echoing in the emptiness. Ichimaru wasn't stopping anymore, maybe because the gap between us and him would've been closed all too easily.

Taking the stairs to the second floor of the school was painful. I must have sprained my ankle after dashing to catch Hinamori, so the run all the way to the school was already pushing my limit, and then the trip up the stairs just killed it. Though, even with my whole leg in pain, along with my hands and chest, I somehow managed to keep on Ichimaru's tail without visibly showing any signs of pain.

Ichimaru stopped in front of a door that led into a corridor attached to the fifth tower, pushed it open and disappeared from sight. Fearing the door would close, Hinamori, Matsumoto, and I surged forward. To our surprise, we found it neatly propped open for us.

"It's a trap." I announced. I'd known. I'd had a feeling since the beginning of the chase that something like this would happen.

"Yeah, I know." Matsumoto muttered, her eyes showing more emotion than I was used to.

"What should we do?" Hinamori sounded scared, though she had every right to.

Matsumoto made the reply. "We continue on."

"Are you sure you want to?" I asked, knowing full-well what could happen.

She knew, too, apparently, because she looked down at her feet with a defeated expression. "Yeah. We've come this far, and I need to know what Gin is doing."

I nodded, as did Hinamori, and we resumed the game of 'tag.' The silver fox had gone down a spiral staircase, one we ourselves could barely see, though we descended as well. The lower we went, the darker it became, and I had to tightly grip the railing to be sure where I was going. This slowed our advance, for spiral stairs were a pain enough to navigate in sufficient light. Total darkness made them near impossible.

My foot hit a surface sturdier than that of the stairs, and I knew at once that we had finally reached the bottom. As I took a few uncertain steps forward, a pale blue light shining on me to my right was noticed.

It was accompanied by a 'quacking' sound.

Grinding my teeth together, I charged in the direction of the light, Hinamori and Matsumoto shouting at me from behind. I guess they saw the light, too, and heard the duck quacking, assuming as I did that it was Ichimaru. I didn't stop, however, and they ran after me, probably hoping to stop me from killing Ichimaru, like they thought I might.

But I don't think I would have.

Not then, at least.

When I was within a close proximity of him, I could see his grin, and I reached out with my right hand to grab his collar. "What the _hell_ do you think you're doing, leading us down here?"

The quacking stopped and the light went out, plunging the four of us into darkness once more. "Who said ya were supposed ta follow me?"

I felt his hands slide onto my wrist of the hand that was holding onto him, and then he dug his fingernails into the cuts and gashes covering my arm. I yelled out in pain and kicked him, freeing my hand from his grip. I heard something clatter to the ground, but I couldn't see what it was. Actually, I couldn't even see Ichimaru anymore. I kept on my guard, but nothing happened.

No, that's not quite correct. Nothing _attacked_, but a number of things most definitely _happened_. For one, there was a loud scraping sound, like metal sliding across a floor, followed by a _clang_ that reminded me of the noise made by prison gates in movies. Before any of us could react, lights came on all around us, blinding the three of us for but a moment. When I opened my eyes and could see again, I didn't like what I saw.

We were in a cage, some giant, golden, metal cage that was reminiscent of something a bird would be kept in, and the gate was closed, though the lock hung open. One side of the cage was connected to a stone wall, and the floor beneath us was made of concrete. On the floor next to my foot was a small knife with a duck's head for a pommel. It must have been dropped by Ichimaru when I kicked him less than a minute earlier. Probably, it was what I heard fall to the ground before he vanished.

But outside the cage revealed the biggest shock of all. Standing on one side of Aizen was Ichimaru, and on the other side was Tousen Kaname, the teacher of Law at school. Hinamori and Matsumoto saw him as well.

"T-Tousen-sensei?" Hinamori stammered. "What are you doing here? And Aizen-dono?"

"What the fuck is going on here?" I demanded. Yes, Tousen-sensei's presence was certainly a surprise, but it wasn't the most important thing at the time.

"Do you really need to ask that, Hitsugaya-kun?" Aizen mocked, moving to the barred door and snapping the lock shut. "I believe I told you two weeks ago that this world would be destroyed, didn't I?"

"You did, but what does that have to do with us?"

"There is no 'us' in this situation. I need but one of you." He grinned, similar to the one I kept seeing in my nightmare. "The rest of you are just here to be killed."

"What?" I grabbed the cage bars and yelled out. "Killed? Killed for what?"

"Oh, just for the fun of it. Well, that and to unlock and trigger the ancient power required for the destruction of the world. But mostly for entertainment purposes."

"You _bastard_!" I grabbed Ichimaru's knife from my pocket, where I didn't remember putting it (actually, I didn't remember picking it up at all), and prepared to throw it, but a hand slid gently onto my shoulder.

It was Matsumoto.

"Toushiro, calm down. This isn't getting us anywhere." She whispered into my ear so as not to be overheard.

"But Matsumoto—"

"I know, but we can't do anything right now. Just try to get as much information from them as you can, and we'll work out a plan later."

I nodded a few times, and she let go of my shoulder. I lowered my hands, letting go of the bars in the process. The knife was replaced in my pocket while I took deep breaths in an attempt to calm myself. I turned my attention back to Aizen. "So what kind of 'ancient power' do I posses?"

"You? Whoever said it was _you_, Hitsugaya-kun?"

"You've implied it as such."

"Have I? Or are you just interpreting it in a way that makes you out to be the 'hero'?"

"I'm interpreting it just as it was implied. Besides, if it's a power to destroy the world, I can't see either of them having it."

His smirk widens. "You're so naïve, Hitsugaya-kun. Even with everything right in front of you, you fail to see it."

Before I could retort, Tousen-sensei stepped up to Aizen and said something to him. Neither man changed their expression or gave any bits of their conversation away, but when Tousen-sensei stepped back, Aizen spoke to me once more. "Well, Hitsugaya-kun, Hinamori-kun, Matsumoto-san, it is time. I do hope you won't disappoint me."

With that, the three of them left, and I looked back to my two companions. "This royally sucks."

"We couldn't get much out of him, but I don't think the power wielder is you, Toushiro." Matsumoto commented as I sat down on the floor with my back against the bars. I lifted up my pant leg to look at my ankle, and, sure enough, it was swollen and red.

_Great. Just what I need._

"I agree, though he didn't really _say_ that it isn't me. He talked in circles to confuse us. If it _isn't_ me, then we know two things: it's probably Hinamori with the power, and the two of us are going to die." I said to Matsumoto without fear of Hinamori overhearing. She was sitting in the centre of the cage with her knees clutched to her chest, her face buried in her knees.

She probably was having an even harder time accepting this, now that the evidence of Aizen's treachery was right in her face.

"What makes you think it's her?"

"This all feels like something related to that old legend of the school, and since she's the only one of us three connected to it, it has to be her."

"Why would this have something to do with the legend?" Matsumoto asked.

"Think about it: Aizen acts like he knows everything there is to know about it, and for him to put so much effort into something, and then act on something _completely_ different..."

"...It wouldn't make sense."

"Exactly."

"So now what?"

"Now we find out how to escape. These bars are too close together for even _me_ to fit through and too thick to bend, so we've got to do something about that lock." I used a bar for support to pull myself up and examined the lock. I was about to start fiddling with it when I noticed something awfully familiar. Something I had seen for the first time only the day before.

The dragon and letter 'H.'

_The key! The key from my father's desk!_ I groped at my neck to find the chain still there, the key still attached. I yanked it from my neck and compared the two images, finding them completely identical. _Well, here goes nothing._ I placed the key into the lock gently, and turned the key, hearing a _click_ once I figured out that it turned hard. A grin slid onto my face, joy welling up inside of me. "I did it! The door is unlocked!"

Hinamori and Matsumoto appeared astonished, then ran over to me. Hinamori wrapped her arms around my neck to pull me into an embrace. "We can get out of here! We'll be alright!"

I thought of the dormant power in Hinamori, softly smiled and said, "Yeah." Then I hit a spot on the back of her neck to knock her out. "I'm sorry, but we can't afford to take any chances."

Matsumoto nodded at my decision, then looked down and away. "Toushiro, I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"For foolishly believing that Gin was our ally."

"Don't worry about it. You were only doing what you thought was the right thing. Besides, we probably would have been lured here somehow, anyway." She looked back at me and smiled, and then I added an afterthought. "If anything happens, Matsumoto, and we end up being separated, meet back at Hinamori's house."

"Well, I'm not exactly _planning_ to get split up..."

"Neither am I, but this is just in case."

"I know."

"So are we a go?"

"...Yeah, alright. Just don't lose me out there." She pointed at Hinamori. "Or her."

"I won't."

She gave a quick nod, and as I painfully lifted Hinamori into my arms, Matsumoto pushed the gate open.

And then the alarm began.

* * *

o.O We're back at the beginning of the story now, so the next chapter will be entirely present tense, as well as recycling the prologue. And, of course, the story comes to an end in the next chapter. _Someone_ is going to hate me for it, I just know it.

Anyway, review please~!


	13. Untitled Finale

Erm, I actually wrote this chapter before the first chapter was even completed. I just got this random urge on how I wanted it to end, so I stayed up until two in the morning one night and wrote it. The next couple of weeks were spent revising, typing, editing, printing and editing again. Then more revisions. Then one last edit. Then my friend made me stop looking at it. (Then I looked at it again, edited it on paper, typed it up and lost it all. D: A series of all-nighters followed. Then weeks more of editing. Then I decided that I didn't like it and re-wrote the whole thing again. o.O)

I hope you like the conclusion! (Even if I'm not so sure of it myself.)

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

My Own Worst Nightmare

By Kouzumi93

Chapter 12: Untitled Finale

_Beep!_

_Beep!_

_Beep!_

The alarm is sounding somewhere deep in the tower, its high-pitched whine alerting our captors that we are in the process of escaping from their clutches.

'In the process' is the key phrase there, because it's not like we've gone anywhere yet. Matsumoto and I are panicked, wondering if we can really make it out of here alright, and Hinamori is out cold. Aizen, Ichimaru, and Tousen-sensei probably didn't get too far after they left the room, so they'll be back soon, and we won't be able to get away. At least, not all three of us. Not if I go with these two. As injured as I am, I'll only slow us down, and we'll be caught again. Chances of escape after that are slim to none.

I have to come up with a plan quickly. Precious seconds are ticking by. Time we can't make up. Time we can't afford. Our options are slim. We can all leave at once, and then split up once we're outside. No, that won't work. Since the numbers are even on both sides, they would each go after one of us. Or they would merely target the one they were after. Fighting them isn't advisable, because I'm sure they outweigh us in brute strength, especially with me being injured. Staying here in the cage is unthinkable.

Or is it? Aizen and the other two might all come in here at once to check the cage, and if one of us is still in here, it's possible that our captors would stay a bit to question the bait for information. That would give the other two plenty of time to get out of the school, and to some place where they can call for the police. I glance back and forth between Matsumoto, Hinamori, and the open gate door, wondering if such a plan would work. So many things can go wrong with it, the biggest and most important being that I can't guarantee the actions of Aizen and his lackeys.

One last look at the girl in my arms, and I've made my decision. This might not work, but it's the best option we have right now. It's practically the _only_ option we have. Matsumoto is going to hate the decision, and Hinamori will be angry with me later, when she wakes up. But that's alright. I already hate myself for even _thinking_ this plan up, but our odds of survival are decent. Odds of success, not so much. I shut my eyes tightly for a moment, then open them, my whole _being_ taken over with feelings of determination.

"Get Hinamori out of here, Matsumoto!" I thrust Hinamori into the busty female's arms and push the two of them through the opening, trying to get Matsumoto to leave quickly. The sooner they can get away, it's all for the better.

For the world's sake.

The blonde gives me a frightened expression. She probably knows exactly what I'm thinking. "But Toushiro, we can't just leave you in here!" She protests, grabbing my left arm in an attempt to pull me out along with her.

Leaving me behind is not an option in her eyes.

I should have seen this coming. I know how stubborn she can be. I pull free from her grasp, a firm, serious countenance set in place. "Yes you can! I'll distract them long enough for you two to get far away from here, then I'll follow after you." She doesn't move, and I fear that the door at the far end of the room is going to open soon. "Just go already!" I fake a smile in an attempt to calm her nerves, as well as mine, a bit. "I'll be fine. I promise." She can read my lie, I'm sure of that. But she doesn't call me on it, since neither one of us wants to admit that something bad might _actually_ happen to me.

Finally, she nods, albeit rather hesitantly. "You'd better keep that promise. She'll never forgive you otherwise." Matsumoto is referring to Hinamori, I know, but then she looks away. Just before she runs off, she turns back for one final exchange of words. "We'll be waiting for you, Toushiro." She tightens her grip on my girlfriend and takes a deep breath.

Then she's gone, and I'm left on my own.

"_We'll be waiting for you."_ What a way to make me feel even guiltier for lying to her; telling her that I'd be fine when we both are sure that I might not be.

Not with the way Death is hovering over my shoulder the way crows flock to the carcasses of long dead animals.

When the sound of Matsumoto's footsteps fades completely, I look back at Aizen's door. There's still no movement, which I'm grateful for, but I feel as if they're getting closer, even now. It's only a matter of time before someone comes in here and ruins our escape plan. Well, an escape plan for the other two, while I become a decoy. I'm starting to doubt the latter idea. I have to get out of here before my bad day manages to get any worse.

_Matsumoto has had enough time_, I decide. _She should be gone by now._

_I need to go._

I begin to make my own escape, originally thinking of it as nothing more than the escape of an average human.

_No, this is the escape of a martyr._

A hero.

Ha. That would be nice, except...I'm not exactly the hero in this story.

No, I've _never_ been the hero. I know that—I've known it for a long time—and yet I still keep trying to change that fact.

_I need to get out. Hurry up. Go, go, go, go, g—_

Just as my hand reaches for the bar right inside the door so I can steady myself and leave, the cage door swings itself shut, very nearly slicing my fingers off with it. Shakily, I pull my hand away and replace it at my side. The key is still in the lock. I didn't get a chance to pull it out of the latch after the other two left. I can get it now, but it would only be a useless action.

_But I need to get out of here._

I look to the other door, seeing the frame now occupied by Aizen, a sadistic, satisfied expression resting on his face. He's enjoying this. He loves watching me here, rendered almost completely helpless. The only weapon I have on me is the knife I took that Ichimaru dropped, and Aizen has the advantage of being outside the cage, as well as being without injury.

And then I notice that neither Ichimaru nor Tousen are present. My eyes dart around in search of them, but they are nowhere to be seen. That worries me greatly, but I retain the hope that they just didn't want to bother coming down here. Maybe Aizen told them to stay put in case we invaded the room and attacked, while he came to investigate. Maybe they're dead. That's always a possibility with Aizen around.

"Looks like you're the only one who failed to escape, Hitsugaya-kun." Aizen says triumphantly, stepping up to the cage and plucking the key from its lock.

Glaring, I say nothing. As I've learned first-hand, this bastard can pull a hell of a lot more information out of a short conversation than one would expect him to. Tell him something about your morning, and he could discern what you were going to be doing that very night. That's the kind of enemy he is. This is what I'm up against. If I hope to win, my only chance is to remain silent.

But there's no guarantee that even being quiet will let me win. No, I have to trust it. I have to win. Anything short of victory will make me unworthy of being the hero.

Even though I was never the hero in the first place.

"What's this? Have you nothing to say at all? No declaration of hatred or something?" He grins, taking a step back from my 'prison.' "Not even a plan on how you're going to get yourself out of there?" He pauses, as if to give me time to contemplate his words. As if he's just _urging_ me to take a shot at thinking one up, just so he can see my reaction as he crushes the plan. "Of course you don't have one. Do you want to know why?"

The silent treatment continues, but I growl inaudibly and curse his name under my breath.

Aizen Sousuke.

I'm going to kill you. You're going to pay for everything you've done, and then pay some more. You'll wish you had never been borne, and _I'll_ be the one enjoying _your_ suffering. These current roles will be reversed. You'll be the one sitting in some display case like a lab rat, and I'll be on the outside, laughing at you until my ribs hurt.

You'll be begging for mercy, and I'll never cave in.

I'll have my revenge. I'll get my sweet revenge on you.

But I'm still not the hero.

"You'll never be getting out, that's why. You've walked right into the palm of my hand." He holds up one hand to emphasise his point, but it only irritates me. I feel like a marionette, since it seems that the strings behind each action of mine have been pulled by him. Nothing I've done has really been of my own free will.

After letting that sink in, I decide to have him confirm some of the ideas that have been troubling me for a little while. "So it wasn't Hinamori that you were after, was it?"

"Not at all." He puts a finger to his chin, as if something else has occurred to him. "Well, I did need her a little bit, for purposes that I'm not going to reveal to you." He pauses again, and his expression says that he remembered something else important. "To tell you the truth, I suppose I _do_ require her for one more thing, which shall also be kept a secret from you."

_To tell you the truth?_ I don't think I can trust the 'truth' part, but I'm not so sure I can bring myself to doubt that he still has a use for Hinamori, even now. My dormant power is his main target, so I'm sure that whatever he wants from her will merely be his trying to trigger this accursed power.

That is, if I even _have_ this power. Aizen is sure, and I'm slowly starting to see, that it was my family in the ancient legend, but that doesn't mean I inherited this ability to destroy the world. If I do have it, then why haven't any of the traumatic events in my life set it off?

None of this is adding up.

"You'd better leave Hinamori out of this, you bastard!" I give up the silent treatment. Hinamori's well-being and safety are more important.

"I can't do that, Hitsugaya-kun."

"Why not?"

"Because she's already involved, and has been for years. You can't pull her out now, you know."

"Damn it, I won't let you have her!"

"Really? Well, if you must know, she and Matsumoto are already back in the hands of Gin and Kaname. Right now, they're all on their way to the Hinamori residence, where your friends will both eventually die." He begins to move toward the door from which he entered the room. "Anyway, I would get going if I were you." He presses a button along the wall, and a part of the stone wall in the cage crumbles, revealing a passage beyond it.

I turn to it, shocked. The thought of a secret door in a place like this had never even occurred to me. "What?"

"That is the entrance to a corridor that leads directly to Hinamori-kun's mansion. You'll have to go through there if you wish to rescue them." I approach the wound in the wall, gasping at what I see. "Oh, did I say it leads there directly? Well, it does, technically, but you'll have to hurry and find the right path in order to reach them on time."

I find myself turning back to him and grabbing the bars right across from him. "What the hell have you done to them?" I shout, my voice laced with vehemence.

"Oh, nothing, as of now. They're just going to be tied up together in a place where Hinamori-kun's mansion meets with the maze. It's not like I've had them killed, or anything. At least, not yet, I haven't. I'll give you forty-five minutes to rescue them, or else they're going to die."

I grip the bars tighter, blood sliding from them down to the floor. This rage is building up. I don't think I'll be able to contain it for much longer. His smiling face makes me want to slice off his smile and shove it down his throat. Actually, I don't think even that would be enough for me. As much pain as he has caused, lives he's taken...I can't think of any form of revenge that can make up for it all.

"You might want to hurry, Hitsugaya-kun. Your time is already ticking, and if you linger here for much longer, I'll get there before you, and all you're going to find is dead bodies. Oh, but you're already quite used to that by now, aren't you?"

I let go of the bars as bloody images flood my head. I stagger and sway, falling to my knees with a thud, while holding my head in pain.

_Back off. Back off. Back off. Stay back! I don't have time for this shit! If I don't hurry, I'm only going to add to the body count. Gotta hurry. Gotta go. Hurry up! Get up now, dammit!_

Soon, I shakily pull myself up, my wounds stinging painfully. Aizen is already gone. How long has it been? Time...Time can't be up yet, can it?

_Shit!_

I also curse out loud, blink back my pain, and bolt into the maze blindly, choosing corridors at random. I didn't get a good look at them at first, but when I come across a dead end, I realise that I recognise this place. It's not a déjà-vu, 'I've seen this event before,' moment, but an honest, 'I've been here before.'

_The nightmare. That's where this is from. Could it be...that it's coming true?_

_Or am I just dreaming again? I've felt pain in my dreams before, so that wouldn't be abnormal, but...what if I _am_ asleep again? Medicine has a habit of making me delusional, so this all being another dream is completely plausible._

_No, wait. The medicine I've been taking all day and last night has kept me from experiencing the nightmare, which was why I kept taking it. Could it have worn off?_

"Ah, it doesn't matter!" I shout to no one. "I have to hurry up!"

I run off again, but I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere. I think I'm going in circles. Hell, I can't even remember which direction it is I'm supposed to be heading. Maybe I'm on my way back to the entrance, or off to one of the sides. I don't know. I'm sure that I'll find them eventually, if the nightmare holds true, but I can't know if I make it there on time. The blurry flashes of colour are hardly helpful to me.

I sense a presence. I'm in an open area that has four of five exits, but I don't see anyone around. Taking a few hesitant steps forward, I shrug, decide that no one is here, and start running through again, selecting my next path randomly, as usual. The corridor is a darkened one (I guess the light may have been broken), and just as I pass into the enclosed area, I feel a sharp pain in my left shoulder. I look down to find the source of the pain: there's a sword sticking out of my flesh.

I frantically pull myself off of the blade, blood splattering onto the ground. Turning around, it takes me a moment to pinpoint my attacker in the dim light, and I'm slightly shocked at the person standing before me.

"T-Tousen-sensei?"

The teacher in question says nothing, merely shakes the blood from his Western-style sword and takes up his stance. I hesitate for but a moment before pulling Ichimaru's duck knife out again. I've never really been in a fight before, but there's some part of me that keeps saying how everything is going to work out. That 'we' can win this.

But...But doesn't that mean I'm going to have to kill Tousen-sensei? Can I...Can I do that?

Well, even if _I_ can't, Tousen-sensei clearly doesn't have any qualms about injuring and killing his own students. I confirm this when he charges in at me with his sword's tip pointed right at my heart.

"Tousen-sensei, what are you _doing_?" I shout and hold up the little dagger to block the sword's attack, but I only manage to deflect it—right into my stomach. Even with the pain I feel as a result, I grab his sword and hold it securely within my abdomen. "What do you think you're doing, working with that bastard Aizen? He's trying to destroy the world, you know!"

His sightless eyes gaze past me. "He is doing the world a justice." As he says this, he forcibly pulls the blade out of my stomach, cutting up the inside of my hand a bit more.

"How the Hell is _destroying the world_ an act of Justice? You'll kill _everyone!_"

"It _is_ Justice, because killing everyone _was_ the original plan. You see, killing without purpose is only murder, but killing with purpose is Justice. We, Hitsugaya-san, _have_ a purpose."

"It's certainly a shitty one, if you ask me." I'm still on defence. Maybe I can manage to change his mind, and then I won't have to fight him.

"Really? I would think that trying to save Mankind is quite the noble cause." Tousen-sensei comes at me a second time, and I struggle to dodge and parry his sword with nothing but this small knife. Seeing as it's the only weapon in my possession, I have to use it, but I'm not sure how well it's going to work. The last time I saved myself, but ended up stabbed in a vital spot anyway. I can't guarantee that I'll be as lucky the next time.

It ends up holding true, as I manage to avoid a few fatal injuries. Instead, I sustain only a cut on my cheek, a nick on the side of my neck, and somewhat deep gashes on my right thigh and forearm. Tousen-sensei is completely unharmed, but I suppose this is because I still refuse to fight him (though, he probably would continue to be in near perfect condition if I _was_ attacking him, since I probably have _no_ skill with a sword). Maybe it's a stupid decision, but until I have a solid, logical reason to, I can't bring myself to go on offence.

But then a thought occurs to me. "Tousen-sensei, if you want to destroy the world, then why are you attacking me?"

"Why, you ask? You heard Aizen-sama, didn't you? The power wielder is not you, which means that you're only here to be killed." He wipes a cloth across his blade to clear off the newest blood. It's a strange action for the middle of a battle, but I don't question it because it must be his way of doing things.

No, I don't ask, because I don't care. I'm much more interested in what he just said.

"But I _am_ the power holder! Aizen was trying to trick me into thinking that it was one of the others, but it's been me all along."

"You're just trying to prolong your death. Aizen-sama would never lie like that and _not_ tell me the truth of it." He flicks the cloth to the ground and charges me again.

But I don't intend to let his sword reach me this time.

"Justice, Tousen-sensei, is blind, but you are not Justice incarnate. Blind, yes, but you fail to see the truth much too often." I say softly as I cringe, the blade of Ichimaru's knife burying itself into Tousen-sensei's heart.

His body crumples to the floor face-up, and the sword is released from his hand. The smiling duck is covered in blood (probably both mine and Tousen-sensei's), and it sticks straight up in the air. I really did plunge it directly into his heart, which both amazes me and disgusts me.

_I'm not pulling that out. No way. No way._

I poke at my teacher with my foot, but there's no physical reaction. I've really killed him. The first person I've ever killed with my own hands, and it's my own teacher. I want to close his eyelids, as a form of respect, but I wonder if I should or not. After all that just happened and that he's done, I'm not sure if he is worthy of my respect.

_Wait, why the hell am I still standing here? I have to get to the others!_

I leave the teacher's eyes open, but bow to him before taking off again. _It's for the lessons in school. That's all. It'll ease my conscience._

How much time is left now? That fight took too long, and now I'm lost again. I take a random right turn and then two lefts, frantically trying to calculate the times in my head.

Has it been twenty minutes? Thirty? Oh God, what if my time is up already?

I hurry a bit faster. I have to save them. I just _have_ to! Isn't...Isn't it my obligation to save them?

No, not just that. I've let enough people close to me die already, so I can't let Death claim anyone else. I won't let Death even _breathe_ over the shoulder of someone else I care about.

Except...I'm not the hero.

I wish I had a watch or something with a clock, at least. Then I could see how long it's been and how much time is left. No, maybe that would make me even more frantic and nervous.

_Is that even possible?_

Just as I make another left turn, I hear shouting start up somewhere behind me. I can't make any of the words out for a moment, but after a bit of concentration, I realise that there are two different voices, and that they both must belong to females.

_They're awfully familiar voices..._

_Can it be...?_ "H-Hinamori! Matsumoto!" I shout out as loud as I possibly can, hoping that they'll hear me and respond. If they can do that, then I can follow the sound of their voices in order to locate them.

"Hitsugaya-kun?"

"Toushiro, you're still alive!" Matsumoto's voice holds an unexpected amount of surprise and relief, almost as if she had been preparing herself for the idea that she would never again be hearing my voice.

"Of course I am!" _I'm not sure _how_, but I am._ "I thought I told you that I'd be fine?"

"You did, but Gin...He said that Aizen was going to have you killed!" She doesn't sound to be any closer than before, even though I've completely changed directions, but since she's not any further away, I'll deal with it.

"Aizen _did_ try to have me killed, actually, but I won."

"Won? Against who?"

"...It was...It was Tousen-sensei..."

"You won against Tousen-sensei? If he was trying to kill you, then how did you win?"

"...I...I had to kill him."

"What? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I told you that already." _Even though I'm far from feeling as I say I do._ "Anyway, where are you two?"

"In some sort of open area in this maze."

"I kind of figured as much. You're going to have to be more specific than that."

"Alright, there's a light overhead, dirt underneath me, stone walls on every side, a couple of exits, bunches of shadows...Yeah, that's about as specific as it's going to get."

I feel my eye twitch, both from walking into a dead end and her irritating answer. "I'll find you. Eventually."

"Hurry, Hitsugaya-kun! It's been almost forty minutes since we were put in here!" Hinamori calls out, but the way she says the last part tells me that they don't know anything about the time limit. Her stating their time being tied up is more of a complaint at their current state.

"I'll be right there! This maze isn't the easiest thing to navigate, you know. Putting that aside, how do you know how long it's been?"

"My cell phone fell out of my pocket, and now it's sitting here with the screen on."

"That's—" _Too convenient._ "—Cool."

It's suddenly silent, and I find that I've lost my way. I start to worry that maybe they've been killed because I'm taking too long.

_But time isn't up yet!_

"Can one of you keep talking? I need your voices to guide me to you."

"What is there to talk about?" Matsumoto asks, almost sounding bored. Then again, I'm sure it's not the most entertaining thing in the world to be tied up with someone else for the better part of an hour.

"I don't know, think of something!" Now that I can hear them again, I begin to move forward once more. _But how much longer can I keep this up?_ I wonder. _Time is running out, my mind is getting fuzzy, and my vision is starting to sway again. Can I really make it?_

_I have to!_

"I can think of _many_ things, Toushiro."

"So pick out one that _doesn't_ involve your anatomy."

"Aww, there go those ideas! Now I'll have to think of something else."

"I thought you already _had_ ideas!"

"I did, but you shot them all down!"

I mentally slap myself. _Of course that was all she had. This is Matsumoto we're talking about here. She has a one-track mind._ Smirking, I make a right turn into a dead end, then continue trying corridors. Matsumoto's voice just now was surprisingly close, so I can't be too far off. Maybe I'll reach them before time is up, and this 'game' can be over once and for all. I'll kill Aizen, and our lives will go back to normal.

Even though I'm _still_ not the hero.

"H-Hitsugaya-kun, you're not hurt any worse than you were earlier, are you?"

"Nope, not a scratch more." I reply, ignoring the severe wounds I sustained while fighting Tousen-sensei, the blood I'm losing at an alarming rate, and the double vision that's been bothering me for a while. Even as much as it all makes me want to sink to the floor and pass out, I know that's not an option. Stopping for but a moment to rest my body is out of the question, because I'm still on the clock. Aizen's clock, too. I can't quite be sure of how much time has passed since it started ticking, despite the fact that Hinamori told me.

"That's great! I'm glad to hear it."

But I still want to know what it says. "How long has it been?"

"What do you mean?"

"You said you've been watching the time on your cell phone. How long have the two of you been there?"

"Oh, that! It's been about forty-three minutes, Hitsugaya-kun."

_Shit._ "Alright, thanks." I turn again, just as I think of something I had almost forgotten about. "Hinamori, I'm sorry for knocking you out so suddenly back there in the cage. I didn't want to let Aizen get his hands on you, and it was an on-the-spot decision, so I hope you'll forgive me for that."

"Of course I forgive you. Rangiku-san explained everything to me already."

"Really? Thanks, Matsumoto. Even though my plan didn't exactly work out the greatest, that is."

"You're welcome, Toushiro, and don't worry yourself with how things have turned out so far. None of this is in your control. Or any of our control, for that matter."

"It may not be in my control, but it was certainly my fault for most of it." I mutter under my breath, knowing full-well that she can't hear me.

"Hitsugaya-kun, are you still there?" Hinamori calls, sounding concerned.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm here. What is it?"

"It's nothing. I just wanted to hear your voice, is all."

I can't help but laugh. "You wanted to hear my voice? Don't you hear it enough already?"

"I—Ah—You know what I mean!"

"Relax, I'm only kidding!"

_Here._ I pause in front of an archway engraved with Hinamori's last name, and I know for certain that I've arrived. Letting out a silent cheer of satisfaction, a rush of adrenaline kicks through me, and I run through the door-less frame, soon finding Hinamori and Matsumoto tied up together in the centre of the clearing. Just as I'd been told they would be. They're also unharmed, which makes me seem dead compared to them. I grin, despite the energy draining suddenly and the double-vision coming back full-swing. There are now four girls tied up together, and they all notice me at once, their expressions simultaneously changing to something akin to joy.

"Hinamori! Matsumoto!"

"Hitsugaya-kun!"

"Toushiro!"

I notice the open, glowing cell phone sitting next to Hinamori and take a step closer to it and to her, but I stop dead in my tracks when a figure steps out of the shadows behind Matsumoto.

It's Aizen. I don't think either female realises he's in here with us, for they both are still focused entirely on me.

It's alright, though. He must be here to give in, because I won. The fact that I got here on time and that Hinamori and Matsumoto are still alive means I _must_ have won.

But, of course, I'm not the hero.

"I'm afraid you took longer than forty-five minutes, Hitsugaya-kun." He tosses a small, black object at me, which I barely catch.

It's a stopwatch, and the time it is stopped on is...

No. No, you've got to be _kidding_ me!

45.15. Fifteen seconds. I missed getting here...I missed the forty-five minute deadline by _fifteen seconds?_

No, no, that can't be right!

"What the hell? It's only a few seconds off! Give me a _break_, you dick!"

"The agreement was for forty-five minutes, was it not? Such an arrangement is not so easily broken, you know."

"But I _didn't_ agree!"

"Ah, but you did, Hitsugaya-kun. By saying nothing about it, failing to offer an alternative, and attempting to finish in the time allotted, you consented to my terms. You remember, I hope, what I was saying earlier while all three of you were still in my trap, as well as what I told you before you began into the maze, don't you?" Aizen smirks, then disappears back into the shadows.

_Still in the trap? The cage? What is he talking about? He said a number of things...But then, why was I rushing here...?_

My eyes widen as he emerges from his hiding place once more, but there is a sword in his hands now.

Not just a sword. A katana.

The same one he used to kill my parents two weeks ago.

I take a step back, suddenly aware of his intentions.

"_The rest of you are just here to be killed."_ That is what he is referencing. _"Your friends will both eventually die."_

No, he's not going to—

"Aizen, you _bastard!_" I shout, just as Hinamori and Matsumoto see the blade in his hand.

"A-Aizen-dono, what—what are you doing with...with _that_?"

"Do you mean to ask what I am going to use it for?" He moves closer to the girls, but I can't make myself move.

My body is reliving the lasting pain inflicted by that blade the last time I met it. The physical pain, the emotional pain, and the mental pain, all of which I still have not recovered from. I probably never will.

Not with where this day is going.

"What _do_ you plan to use it for? Do you intend to torture us until the power wielder does your bidding?" Matsumoto snaps, glaring at Aizen in much the same manner as I do.

"Torture? Oh no, torture is much too time consuming." He raises the sword, and the steel catches and reflects the light around the room. "It's much easier to just kill someone right away than cutting them up for hours on end."

He swings the blade down before any of us has a chance to scream.

The next thing I know, blood is flying across the room toward me, along with a spherical object. This object is also covered in blood, and there's a sort of golden-yellow..._something_ sticking out of it. It's like a ball of golden yellow and peach, but I can't tell what it is.

It's coming right at me, but another backward step enables me to mostly avoid it. Mostly, meaning that it hits my shoes, but then rolls off. Shaking violently, I look down to identify it.

_Oh God._

It's Matsumoto's..._head_.

_No._

My sneakers have been forever stained with her blood, now going from pure white to a deep crimson. Matsumoto's dead eyes gaze up at me accusingly. I already know what I'm guilty of; what they're trying to tell me.

"_This is your fault. This is all your fault."_

_No._

"_Because you tried to be the hero."_

_No._

"_You're not the hero, Toushiro."_

_No._

I continue to back away, my gaze frozen on the scene in front of me.

_Stop!_

Aizen is cleaning the katana's blade, Hinamori is coated in Matsumoto's blood, and she is screaming, crying, and struggling in her bonds all at the same time. Matsumoto's headless body sinks to the floor, now that it has no mind to control its actions, and it drags Hinamori's squirming body with it as well.

My back slams against a wall. There's nowhere else to go.

The dream—no, now I've confirmed it as a nightmare—was this all along? I've been watching Matsumoto die almost every night for a month? How...how can this be? It's too late to fix it now. The nightmare was a warning, and I didn't let it do what it was trying to do: get me to stop this. I let Matsumoto die. I can't fix this anymore. I'm useless.

No, maybe I _can_ fix things! Because...because the nightmare keeps going after that part! There are more things I can fix!

Who _cares_ if I'm not supposed to be the hero?

Aizen smirks and throws the katana at me. I don't flinch, dodge, or make a grab for it, because I can see that it's going to land about a metre away.

He's not aiming for me.

_He's up to something, but if I can keep myself calm, maybe I can try to trick Fate._

But I'm not the hero.

"What is this for?" I ask, giving the katana a tap with my red sneaker. _It looks like a bad spray-paint job, the bloodstains._ "Why are you giving me your weapon?"

"You can keep that, Hitsugaya-kun, because I'm going to allow _you_ to kill Hinamori-kun."

"What? _Allow_ me to? There's no way in Hell I'll do that!" I stomp my foot onto the pommel, and the sword flips around once, stabbing itself into the ground. My leg screams in pain, and I feel my body on the verge of collapsing. I don't have much strength left.

_Shit._

"Really?" Aizen approaches Hinamori's shaking form and begins to untie her from Matsumoto, leaving her hands still bound. "That's a shame. If _you_ kill her, she can die however you want her to. If _I_ have to take her out, then I can guarantee that I'll kill her in a fashion quite similar to that of your late parents. You both can remember how they died, correct?" He inquires, but both of us remain utterly silent.

The rage is building up, despite my efforts to stop it.

I think...whatever comes next in the nightmare is sure to come true. The anger is here already.

I don't want to know what happens.

"You don't remember, Hinamori-kun?" Aizen starts to leave the room with Hinamori, who isn't struggling anymore.

Actually, she's not moving much at all. She looks petrified with fear.

"Allow me to refresh your memory. You see, it was difficult to get into the house with my katana, but your mother, Hitsugaya-kun, was _quite_ willing to let me in. She had me sit in the living room, where I spoke with her and your father about things that need not be retold. As I stood up to leave and they rose to lead me out, their guards were down. From there, it was just a matter of timing. Slicing off your mother's head and killing your father before he could react was very tedious, but I was successful. It wasn't actually necessary for me to..._decorate_ the room quite as I did, but you were taking too long to return, and I was getting bored. I figured that maybe you would appreciate a more traumatic scene."

My hand twitches to the sword I stomped on earlier. I feel my fingers wrap around its cushioned hilt, and I pull it from the ground.

I'm about ready to slice off _Aizen's_ head.

"You wouldn't want Hinamori-kun to end up the same, do you, Hitsugaya-kun?" He puts one hand on the back of Hinamori's neck, and I grit my teeth, tightening my grip on the hilt and adding my other hand. "Or maybe you do want me to kill her. You've not had enough tragedy in your life yet, I guess."

My hands shake, and I race forward toward Aizen, bringing the sword out in front of me. I'm aiming the blade at his heart—or where it _should_ be, since I'm not sure he actually _has_ one.

I won't miss. I _can't_ miss.

But I'm not the hero.

Just as the tip of the blade is about a metre from Aizen's chest, he steps to the side and moves Hinamori into the place he had just been.

_No_.

I'll kill her.

_No!_

At this rate, I can't stop. I'm going to impale her.

_NO!_

I can't stop from advancing, but I somehow manage to move the blade to a more non-lethal area just below her stomach. I feel the blade sink in, and the two of us stare at each other in shock.

"H-Hina-Hinamori..." I stammer, and tears come to Hinamori's eyes. She's shaking still, and blood is soaking her clothes. She reaches an arm out and clutches my shirt, and brings her other hand up as well.

"It hurts, Hitsugaya-kun..."

And then Aizen appears behind her, grinning at me the same way he does at the end of my nightmare.

I know he's going to reach for something, and the fact that I have no idea what is going to happen next terrifies me beyond all reason.

I try to pull the sword out of Hinamori's abdomen so I can use it as a weapon again, but Aizen grabs the part of the blade that's sticking out of Hinamori on the other side. He twists it one hundred and eighty degrees, so the sharp side of it is facing upward. Hinamori cries out and releases my shirt, but before she can do anything else, Aizen yanks the katana up, slicing Hinamori clean in two from her stomach through her head.

_No!_

Instantly, I release the hilt of the sword and fall back to the ground at the same time Hinamori's lifeless body lands with a sickening _thud_.

_No! This...This can't be happening!_

I can't look at Hinamori. I can't look at Matsumoto. I can't look _anywhere._

The scent of blood fills the air, threatening to choke me.

_I'm going to puke._

I hear the katana clatter to the floor, but I don't look for it. Wherever _it_ is, Aizen is going to be there too.

I don't want to see him either.

I squeeze my eyes shut tightly, trying to block out the world around me.

_Fuck!_

_Why did this have to happen?_

_Why?_

_Why?_

_**Why?**_ A dark voice in my head asks. _**You should already know why.**_

_But I _don't_._

_**You're not the hero.**_

_Aren't I?_

_**Of course not. A hero normally does not kill his own girlfriend, even if he wasn't trying to. Have you not been telling yourself this whole time that you are not the hero?**_

_Well, yeah, but..._

_**But what? They're all dead. Hinamori, Matsumoto, your father, your mother, Natsume—**_

_Stop. Stop! __**Stop!**__ I _know_ that!_

_**And you know that it was your fault that they died?**_

_...Of course._

_**Heroes don't do that.**_

_I get it. I'm not the hero._

_**And you never will be.**_

_I know._

_**Why don't you put me to use?**_

_Put you to use? What are you talking about? Who are you, anyway?_

_**I am the curse. The curse that has been on your family for generations.**_

_Why now? Why are you here now?_

_**My seal has been broken. Hinamori's family made the seal and had their own people carry it. Now that the entire family is dead, I am able to emerge. **_**Use me.**_** It's the only way to be rid of all of this pain.**_

_But that's exactly what Aizen wants me to do, if your power is indeed to destroy the world._

_**That **_**is**_** my power, yes.**_

_Then why should I use it? I'll just be doing Aizen's bidding._

_**You should use it because if you don't now, I won't warn you the next time. Your soul desires to have the world destroyed, but your mind is rejecting the idea. The next time your soul has the desire, I won't try to convince your mind. I'll just go through with it.**_

_So you mean the world could end at any given time if I don't do something now?_

_**Precisely.**_

_But...I don't think I want the world to end. There's too many good things here._

_**But you've lost everything you hold dear. **_**You **_**killed your girlfriend.**_

_That's no reason to destroy the _entire_ world!_

_**Isn't it?**_

I have nothing to say to that. I've killed my share of people, and I've let too many people die. It's all because I'm too damned weak.

_Fine. Let it end then. If the world is reset, maybe mankind will not repeat the same mistakes again, and this sort of thing will not have to happen again, to some other poor, unfortunate couple._

_Let the world be destroyed. Even if it never rises again, no one will notice._

_This is fine._

The ground beneath me starts to quake, and I can hear these ancient walls crumbling and caving in.

"Good, Hitsugaya-kun. This is excellent. Keep it going." Aizen says, but I can't pinpoint his voice. I'd like nothing more than to kill him before it all ends, but it's useless.

_Aizen will die in this too. I will as well, but I'm not sure I care._

It's...it's really coming to an end.

_Hinamori...I'm sorry. And Matsumoto, and everyone else._

_You all died because I'm not hero material._

_But it's alright, because I don't believe in fairy-tales and heroes._

~End~

Yeah, like I said, it's not the greatest ending, but I think it's growing on me. I must have redone how I reach this ending over thirty times, but I think we'll stick with this one for a while.

Anyway, so you don't have all of your questions answered in _this_ story, but you can pop over to Dear Diary to be filled in on a few things that Hitsugaya never learned about, but Hinamori knew. And the last chapter of that (when it's written) will fill everyone in on a bit more. If anyone has any big questions, just message me or leave a review, and I'll answer it somewhere in one of the stories.

Thanks for everything, everyone~! Review if you'd like~!


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